Just One Night
by writersrefinery
Summary: Set in Season 7. What happens when our two favorite detectives play with fire and start thinking about what it would be like to be intimate for just one night? Olivia is single and Elliot is separated. They are attracted to each other and want to get it out of their systems once. But is that possible when there is love there too? Some mention of season 7 episodes.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** Ok I'm back at it again. This is a story and not a one shot. This one is set at the beginning of Season 7. There will be some mention of the episodes that were during this time but it won't be too close to canon. Elliot is legally separated and Kathy has started divorce proceedings.

 **Disclaimer:** These characters unfortunately are not mine and belong to Dick Wolf…lucky bastard.

"Listen Phillip your alibi is falling apart. Your prints are on the knife. That's what we like to call a slam dunk," Olivia explained trying to get the young suspect to confess. It was early evening but they had been working almost nonstop for the past two days. Her patience was low and Elliot was on a warpath.

The suspect was fidgeting trying to come up with a lie. "I told you I didn't touch that girl."

"Come on. We have our guys right now scrolling through those security tapes and we know what they are going to find. You and your buddy going into Alyssa's room at the same time she claimed she was raped and stabbed," Elliot asserted. He was trying to get this confession to have this day over as soon as possible. He had already missed scheduled time with his kids and Kathy was giving him a hard time about it.

Phillip was considering his words but still not budging so he pushed a little harder. "You can tell me. What? Did you come on to her and she turned you down?"

"No bitch would turn me down not even you," he spat nudging his head towards Olivia.

She arched her eyebrow. "Oh really?"

"Yep. I'm sure if you weren't fucking loverboy here you would be all over me," he snarled at Olivia and then turned to stare at Elliot. "Tell me is she as tight as she looks."

Elliot was up out of his chair before Olivia could cross the room. His fury was immediate and Phillip was struggling for air against the wall.

"Elliot, Elliot stop," she insisted resting a hand on his arm. He was seething and Olivia was struggling to get him to stop before Cragen burst in the room. He finally let go and backed up a few paces.

"Detective Stabler why don't you step outside while Phillip and I continue our little chat."

She sat down and didn't look at him expecting him to just walk out of the room. He huffed for a second and then finally turned around. When he walked out he ran right into a pissed off Cragen. "What the hell was that?"

He put the palm of his hand in his eye willing himself to stay calm. "I'm sorry I just got—that guy was just-"

Cragen could tell he was struggling and decided to give him an out considering the personal turmoil that he was going through. "Look it's been a long few days. Why don't you get out of here and go see your kids? That's an order."

"Thanks Cap."

Elliot collected his jacket and keys and dialed Kathy on his cell.

It took another hour but Olivia was finally able to crack the suspect. He confessed and Casey arrived just in time to witness it.

"Good job Liv. He will be arraigned first thing in the morning."

Olivia yawned and thanked her.

"Yeah good job. I wish your partner would've been able to keep it together enough to help you in there," Cragen added.

His comment sparked Casey's interest. "What happened with Elliot?"

"It was nothing," she blew off and started to walk back to her desk.

"Let's try to make sure those nothings happen a little less frequently. Ok?" he said pointedly hoping she caught on to his warning.

She nodded in acknowledgment. She knew that Elliot had been a bear lately even moreso whenever he missed time with his children. Cragen had tried to talk to him a few times already and he would be ok at first but then slip back into old habits. It was common knowledge that very few could tame Elliot Stabler but if there was one person it was Olivia. It was the main reason that Cragen kept them as partners even when sometimes he saw interactions between them that could be a problem.

Casey was never one to miss anything. "What was that about?" she whispered.

She didn't respond and continued to gather her belongings to go home.

"Ok you don't have to answer. You can tell me all about it over drinks. Come on let's go to Maloney's."

Olivia groaned in response. "Raincheck please I'm exhausted."

"Aww come on Benson we never hang out anymore. I'll buy since you just got me that confession. Please. One round," she pleaded and Olivia quickly gave in.

Three rounds later, Olivia was officially tipsy and feeling a little more relaxed. They had talked about everything from Casey's string of bad dates to Olivia's lack of dates and work of course.

Casey was teetering on being closer to being drunk than tipsy. "So what the hell happened with Elliot?" she slurred taking a sip of her beer.

"Oh you know just same ole same ole. He missed another day with his kids and he was a little testy when a suspect said something to him."

Casey nodded in understanding. "Is he still taking the separation bad?"

"I guess so he never really talks about it. I do know that Kathy officially filed for divorce."

"Ouch."

"Yeah ouch," Olivia repeated. She took another swig of her beer thinking about Elliot and his mood swings over the past year. It had been so long that she actually had gotten uncomfortably used to it. She never knew what she was going to get on any given day because he never told her anything. One day she got so frustrated with the ups and downs that she considered asking for another partner but the truth is she didn't trust anyone else to watch her back like Elliot.

"Earth to Liv," Casey teased waving her hand in front of her face.

"Oh sorry I was just thinking about a case," she lied.

"Ok Benson we need to get you laid," Casey announced.

She scoffed in response. "Oh please. How the hell did we get from Elliot's temper tantrum to me getting laid?"

"You work too much and it's taking its toll on you. Only one way to cure that," Casey replied wiggling her eyebrows.

Olivia laughed in response. Casey was always the one to help her have a little fun in her life and she certainly needed the comic relief.

"I'm fine."

"Oh god not that again. I'm fine I'm fine," Casey mocked. "Ok if not laid then we need to at least get you a good kiss or a date or something. When's the last time you've been out?"

Olivia shot her a dumbfounded look.

"My point exactly. Let me look around and see who I can find in here." She whipped around in the stool and scanned the bar looking for prospects. It was a Tuesday night and not much to choose from.

"No prospects?" Olivia teased. "There's hardly anyone in here."

Casey rolled her eyes in obvious disgust. "Ok fine. The next person that comes in that door you are going to flirt with them or get their number."

"Ok whatever," she said blowing her off and ordering another beer.

Casey took a quick call on her phone before turning her attention back to Olivia. "Have you talked to Elliot since he left earlier?"

"Nope."

Casey watched her body language closely and felt like there was something more going on. "What did the suspect say that ticked him off so much?"

Olivia visibly stiffened at the question. "The same sort of thing that suspects say all the time. I think he just took it different because he's in a bad mood."

"Which is?" Casey nudged.

"He said something about I would be fucking him if I wasn't fucking Elliot and I must be really good or tight or something like that," she explained not noticing the look her friend was giving her.

Casey smirked and Olivia was confused. "What?"

"Nothing."

They both took swigs of beer and Casey eventually sputtered into her bottle laughing.

"What?" she asked in frustration.

"Liv how many people accuse you and Elliot of sleeping together? Why do you think that is?"

She blew her off and concentrated on her drink. It was true there had been rumors of her and Elliot having an affair for years. She saw the looks they got when they were on crime scenes, interrogating suspects and when in court. She found out a few months ago that word spread to other precincts and people speculated that she had something to do with why Elliot was separated.

"I have to say I'm a little surprised that nothing has happened. I mean Elliot has been separated for a year. Why haven't you guys hooked up?"

Olivia almost choked on her drink. "Are you crazy? He's my partner Casey."

"Well you don't have the whole he's married defense to fall back on anymore so you're sticking with the partner excuse hunh?" she joked shaking her head. "Look Liv, I love you. You're my friend so I'm just going to be honest with you. You both have the hots for each other. It's so damn obvious to everyone. I think you both know it too but you won't talk about it which I will never understand."

Casey spoke with such confidence about their situation that it threw her off guard. She had teased her about Elliot in the past but she seemed so matter of fact about it this time that Olivia realized she was being serious.

"There's so much sexual tension with the two of you that it's stifling. I mean have you ever thought about it?"

"No!" Olivia exclaimed turning in her seat to face her.

"You are lying through your damn teeth," she called her out.

"I-I have-ok-maybe," she stuttered.

"You totally have and there's nothing wrong with that. Stabler is hot. Everyone thinks so."

Olivia scoffed and rolled her eyes again contemplating Casey's words. She was tipsy and this was the wrong time to be having this conversation. The truth is she had thought about it late into the nights when she was home alone and she allowed herself for just a moment to think about her muscular partners big hands all over her body and the pure weight of him laying on her, pushing inside of her-

She shook her head to get rid of the errant thoughts.

"I'm done with this conversation," she declared. She pulled out some cash to pay for her drinks.

"Oh no," Casey protested. "You have to stay until I finish this last beer and we will share a cab."

Olivia reluctantly agreed.

"Plus we have to wait for your new conquest to come in the door any minute now."

She pulled out her phone to kill time while Casey sipped slowly on her beer. She had two text messages from Elliot. One apologizing for his behavior in interrogation and another saying he would pick her up in the morning and take her to breakfast as a peace offering. She smiled at the message and began to text him back telling him it was fine and she expected nothing less than a top of the line breakfast.

"So what does Elliot want?" Casey asked playing with her beer bottle.

"Just telling me that he would pick me up for work in the morning," she answered before thinking. When she caught Casey's smirk she sighed. "How did you know it was Elliot?"

"You're so obvious Benson. I knew from that smile on your face that it was him," she pointed out to Olivia's disgust. "Hear me out. Why won't you guys just hook up for one night? That's it. Just see what it's like. Take the edge off. Maybe it will cure some of the sexual tension you guys have," she tried to rationalize. "You aren't dating anyone, he's single now, he's hot, you're hot and it's not like any of these losers you normally date. It's Elliot. You trust him. And if there's nothing to it then no harm no foul."

Olivia paid her no mind and set down her jacket to head for the bathroom.

"Are you listening to me?" Casey asked annoyed.

"No. I need to use the bathroom. These beers are kicking in."

As she stood, Casey heard the jingle on the bar signaling the door was opening. She tapped Olivia's shoulder to turn around and see who was coming in.

Casey gasped and Olivia's eyes grew wide when she saw who was walking in.

It was none other than Elliot Stabler.

"Well I'll be damned," Casey grinned. "Elliot we're over here," she yelled before Olivia could stop her.

There was hardly anyone in the bar so he would've seen them anyway and she didn't know why suddenly she felt uncomfortable with him being near him but she felt like she needed time to regroup. She was tipsy, tired and the pressure on her bladder was increasing by the second.

"Hey what are you guys doing here?" Elliot asked and she noticed that he seemed a little uneasy.

"Well we can ask you the same. I thought Liv said you had your kids tonight."

He became tense at the mention of his kids and she lightly nudged Casey to back off but she was too tipsy to catch on.

He shrugged his shoulders and sat down motioning towards the bartender. "I spent a little time with them but it's a school night so not much I can do with them. I'll get them this weekend."

"Sorry El," Olivia apologized sincerely meeting his eyes. She could see the hint of sadness in his eyes and it killed her. He could be an asshole sometimes but she hated to see everything he was going through with his family. They held each other's gaze a little longer before she heard Casey clearing her throat.

"Umm Benson. Didn't you have to pee?" she asked with a knowing grin.

"Oh umm yeah," she stuttered suddenly concerned about leaving him and Casey alone. "Ill be right back."

She could hear Casey order him a beer and some light laughter from Elliot while she scurried off to the bathroom. She was determined to go as quickly as possible to not leave Casey enough time to do any real damage. She was a loose canon with her mouth when she was sober so she could only imagine when she was near drunk. She was in and out of the bathroom in five minutes, held up temporarily by two middle aged women who were too busy laughing and talking between the stalls before finally staggering out.

When she rejoined them at the bar, Elliot seemed a lot more relaxed and was genuinely laughing. She held her breath worried about what they talked about.

Casey didn't leave her in suspense for long. "So apparently Maureen is mortified because her roommate thinks Elliot is sexy and asked him out before she realized that he was Maureen's dad."

"Yeah so she's officially not talking to me," he added.

"Why you didn't do anything? Did you?" she asked teasing and cocking an eyebrow at him.

He held up his hand in objection. "Oh hell no. What the hell could I do with a girl my daughter's age?"

"Plenty," Casey retorted. "Young girls would love to—"

"Ok ok," he cut her off. "Well I'll put it this way. I wouldn't want to do anything with a girl my daughter's age. That's not my thing."

His eyes briefly met Olivia's and she found herself smiling at him and he returned it before taking another long pull of his beer.

"So what is your thing Elliot?" Casey asked and Olivia tried to kick her to get her attention but couldn't reach her leg without it being obvious.

"What do you mean what is my thing? What am I interested in?" He seemed to be actually enjoying himself and the line of questioning which threw Olivia off. She didn't know what was going on. They didn't have these types of conversations. It was always off limits or so she thought but this was the most relaxed she had seen Elliot in months. She wanted to put an end to it but decided to stop herself for that reason. She wanted him to take the edge off and let his hair down and if that meant she had to sit through an awkward conversation about what kind of women he liked then she was willing to do just that. Her curiosity was also peaked. She wanted to hear what he had to say.

"Yeah what kind of woman does Elliot Stabler find attractive?" Casey asked pivoting herself in his direction and looking overly interested.

He swirled his beer bottle around for a minute thinking over the answer. "I don't know. It's been awhile since I've had to think about it. I don't know if I have a type."

Casey wasn't taking no for an answer. "Everybody has a type. Let me help you. You clearly like blondes. You seem to like the June Cleaverish thing."

"Casey!" Olivia squealed slapping her arm.

"What?!"

Elliot was laughing at the exchange, which once again caught her off guard. She was expecting his anger or at the very least for him to remove himself from this conversation.

"Sorry she's had a few too many," she apologized reaching for the cash in Casey's hand to give to the bartender.

"Oh no please. You two have single handedly made my night. It's on me," he offered. He pulled out his wallet and threw the cash on the bar.

"Well thanks Elliot," Casey said slapping at Olivia to leave her alone. "Now where were we?"

"I think you were asking me my type," he grinned. "Ok let's see. I guess I like tall, someone who's funny—"

"Because you're not," Olivia interrupted.

"That's real _funny_ Liv," he said emphasizing funny and catching her eye. "Anyway I don't think I have a preference on hair color. Kathy was blonde but any color works for me."

Olivia suddenly wished she had another beer but she needed to sober herself up since Casey was clearly not concerned for her own personal sobriety and it was their rule that both of them wouldn't get drunk whenever they went out.

"Are you an ass or breast man?"

"Oh my god," Olivia blurted out. "Casey really?"

"You are such a buzzkill."

Elliot smirked and joined in. "Yeah Liv stop being a buzzkill. And to answer your question I'm a big fan of both," he responded with a flirtatious edge to his voice. He was still on his first beer so she knew he wasn't drunk. "If I'm being honest I really have a thing for legs. I like long legs."

Casey sputtered into her beer and she knew she had to get her out of there before she said anything else.

"Ok El as fun as this was we are going to head out. Were you meeting someone?" she asked noticing that he came in alone and no one had joined him yet.

He dropped his eyes for a split second and she saw his demeanor change. "No actually I was just stopping by on my way home to have a beer."

"Oh."

She didn't know how to fix his mood but she was disappointed that she managed to upset him that quickly.

"Liv has long legs," Casey blurted out and he started laughing again.

"Lets go," she yelled at Casey. "There should be cabs out there waiting."

"Don't worry about it. I have my jeep outside. I'll take you both home," he offered and had his keys and jacket in hand before she could protest.

"El are you sure? You should stay longer if you want.'"

He raised his eyebrow and smiled walking to the door. "Oh trust me. I'm sure there will be no one else in here nearly as entertaining as you and our ADA. It's fine."

Casey muttered the whole ride which thankfully was only fifteen minutes from the bar. Olivia was on pins and needles the entire time hoping she wouldn't say anything else embarrassing. She talked the whole time about failed dates she had recently and asked Elliot if he had any friends she could meet. Somehow Casey managed to get sober by the time Elliot parked in front of her apartment building stopping Olivia when she got out to help her up the stairs. They watched her walk in and then they were off to Olivia's apartment.

There was a comfortable silence between them during the ride and Olivia found herself turning her head to watch him while he drove. He seemed to ebb and flow between being amused and desolate.

"I know I apologized already but I wanted to say it again. I don't know what came over me today," he admitted and his eyes left the road briefly to meet hers.

"It's ok El. I know it's a tough time. Its fine," she comforted him.

"Things are finally getting a little settled. We agreed on a custody arrangement and on days I'm a little late, Kathleen just got her license so she's going to drive them to my apartment. It will all work out." He seemed like he was trying to convince himself and she wanted nothing but to assure him everything would be fine.

"I'm glad," she replied simply.

He gazed at her again with a neutral look that she couldn't quite read and moments later they pulled up to her apartment building. He sat for a minute and she was about to open the door when it seemed like he had something on his mind.

"Pick me up at 8 tomorrow? Gives us time for you to treat me to breakfast," she quipped trying to nudge him. She was about to get out of the car but if there was something he needed to say she wanted him to get it out.

"Yep. 8 is good."

"Good night," she said touching the door handle until she heard him talk again. "So…," he began and she turned around to see him smiling. "Casey thinks we should hook up for just a night hunh?"

She stilled and closed her eyes trying to will away the murderous thoughts. She was going to kill Casey.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Casey thinks we should hook up for just a night hunh?"

She stilled and closed her eyes trying to will away the murderous thoughts. She was going to kill Casey.

"El I'm so sorry, she's drunk," she explained to his obvious delight. "What did she say to you?"

He shook his head with one hand on the steering wheel and one draped across the back of her seat. He was thinking through what to reveal and what to keep to himself but instead of speaking he ended up just smiling at her. The smile disarmed Olivia. There was something there she hadn't seen before and she didn't know whether to continue to nudge him on whatever Casey said to him or bolt like hell to her apartment.

She decided to nudge.

"Come on why won't you tell me?" she asked in a voice that was much higher and flirtatious than she intended it to be. She mentally scolded herself. This was Elliot Stabler.

Her co-worker.

Her Partner.

Her friend.

No. No. She doesn't flirt with Elliot Stabler.

Ok maybe she did a little light flirting every once in awhile but there were normally people around and it wasn't when she was alone in a car with him, a little tipsy and he was looking at her like that.

He tapped the steering wheel lightly before answering. "Just what I told you. She thinks we should hook up for a night."

"You're lying through your teeth Stabler but it's fine. Good night."

Elliot wasn't ready for her to go. He didn't want to come right out and tell her so he decided to divulge more information. "Ok you wore me down. She thinks we have a lot of sexual tension and are too hot to not be together." He put up air quotes at the word hot mocking Casey's incessant use of the word earlier.

Olivia let out a heavy sigh and settled back into the seat. "Good grief."

"So are these the things you two talk about on girls night because if that's the case I need to join in more often."

"We don't get to hang out much because work is hellish so when we do yes it gets like that and no you can't join us. It's called girls night for a reason," she said playfully. She leaned a bit more into her seat and noticed that the hand that was draped across her seat was dangerously close to her hair.

"You can at least tell me if my name comes up often."

"Not as often as you wish," she teased and tried to read his mood. She could tell he was stalling for time because Elliot normally never engaged in this kind of conversation. To get him talking was a rare commodity but she thought she would give it a try. "How was your visit tonight with the kids?"

He shifted immediately in his seat and to her disappointment moved his arm. "I told you it was fine just couldn't do much."

"I know that's what you told us but I just want to make sure. I'm your partner. It's my job to worry about you."

He sat for a moment thinking over how much he would share. He didn't want to burden her with the mess of his personal life but sometimes holding it all in was suffocating.

"I'm just trying to get used to having to visit my kids or having my kids visit me. I still haven't gotten used to going home to an empty apartment. Hell I just got used to calling the apartment home."

He scrubbed his hand down his face in frustration and tapped anxiously on the steering wheel.

He was being the most candid that she had seen him be in a very long time and her heart broke for him. "El are you sure, are you really sure that you can't talk to Kathy and work this out?"

He was shaking his head no before she finished the sentence. "No. It's over Olivia. That's actually not the part I'm struggling with. The Kathy part is what I'm the most certain about it's just hard to not have the kids. It will get better though," he assured himself and her.

"Yes it will. I promise," she offered putting her hand on his knee. He placed his hand on top of hers and squeezed tightly.

"Thanks Liv. I need to get used to the bachelor life anyway. How else am I going to be able to entertain all these women at the precinct according to Casey that find me irresistable?" he joked and the atmosphere shifted again. He really was okay and that's what she needed to know more than anything.

"On that note," she grinned and tugged on the door handle. "Good night El. See you in the morning."

XXXXX

They grabbed breakfast together the next morning and they were right back to normal discussing cases and fighting over food whenever she would try and take something off his plate and vice versa. Later in the day Elliot got caught up going undercover as a paroled rapist trying to entrap Ray Schankel. She worried about him on that case because she wasn't around to watch his back and she didn't have much contact with him. She also knew how cases like that took a toll on him even if they did distract him from his personal problems.

While grabbing coffee one morning on the way to the precinct to get an update on Elliot's case she ran in to Charles Ford, a handsome stockbroker whose office was a block away from the precinct. He bought her coffee and made polite conversation while she waited for her order to be done. Normally she would be a bit more talkative because he was her type and seemed nice but she was worried about Elliot. He noticed that she was a little distracted and gave her his number to call sometime for dinner or a movie.

When the case was over she decided to give Elliot a few days to unwind. She texted him to make sure he was fine and everyday she asked if he needed anything but he always said no. It was an unspoken rule between them to give each other space to come down after a difficult case. By the fourth night she was getting antsy and decided to text him to see if he needed her to bring dinner over. While she waited for a reply she heard his familiar knock on the door.

"Hey." He held up two plastic bags filled with food inside. "I brought dinner."

She smiled and motioned for him to come in. "Feeling better?"

"Yes I am. I bought a movie too if that's ok," he announced feeling a bit uneasy about the gesture. It's not something they did before just hang out and watch movies but he really needed some company and if he was being honest with himself he didn't want to spend his time with anyone else.

"It's fine El," she responded and helped him open up the boxes.

He got her favorite order from their favorite Chinese restaurant and they settled in on the couch to watch the movie.

"What movie did you bring?"

"Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I heard it's pretty good."

She knew it well. "Oh is that the one where the costars are rumored to have fallen in love on set and are now secretly dating? Isn't he married to the girl from that show Friends?"

He arched his eyebrow at her. "I never figured you for one to be in to Hollywood gossip."

"I'm not," she began, "It's all over the magazines I see everyday. Who knows if it's true. Just a rumor."

"Well you are no stranger to rumors Benson so you should know not to believe everything you hear. If you did then you would believe we have been sleeping together for years and you are the reason I'm getting divorced," he tried to joke but Olivia stopped eating abruptly.

He closed his eyes and silently cursed himself. He knew that she would be sensitive about something like that wasn't thinking. "Sorry that was a bad joke."

"No no it's ok I just didn't know you knew about that rumor," she said uneasily.

"Liv, everyone has heard that rumor."

He kept eating and she noticed that he was nonchalant about all of it. She shook it off and continued to eat while the movie began. They ate in comfortable silence laughing and making comments about the plot.

"They look good together. I guess it makes sense they would hook up," she blurted out.

"That's what Casey said about me and you."

Olivia started to choke on her sesame chicken and he handed her some water. "You ok? Do you need the Heimlich?" he tried to ask between laughing.

She smacked him on the back while drinking her water. "Very funny." She caught her breath and regained her composure while he continued to watch her with a smirk on his face.

"You can be such a jackass sometimes," she threw at him and he held his chest like he was hurting. "Why do you find this so funny?"

"It's funny to me because it makes you nervous."

"It doesn't make me nervous El. Why would it?"

She tried to shrug it off but they had been partners for years. She knew Elliot wasn't buying it. She had to create some distance and get away from the conversation.

"Would you like another beer?" she asked getting up and heading to the kitchen.

She didn't hear his answer but grabbed two beers from the fridge anyway. She took a minute before she closed the door to take a deep breath and gather her thoughts when she felt it. She felt his heat totally contradicting the cold air from the fridge near her. One of the reasons they worked so well together in the field is because they always knew where the other was without having to say anything. That was a blessing when they were chasing perps in the field. Right now she felt a little like it was a curse.

When she turned around he was on the other side of the fridge door with his arm perched right above her.

"What are you doing? I was going to bring it to you." Her voice was breathy and even she could hear the anxious tremble.

When he didn't answer she put the beer in his hand. He twisted off the top and took a swig without moving his stance. She closed the fridge door causing him to stand up straight and she could sense that something was different within him again and she didn't know what. Him and those damn mood swings.

"We're missing the movie," she acknowledged trying to break the silence.

He stood in front of her and his presence was intimidating. He watched her closely and she wilted under the penetration of his gaze. "We can go back and watch the movie when you tell me why the thought of us together makes you so nervous."

She huffed and tried to move around him to go back to the living room but he stood in front of her to block her. "It doesn't make me nervous," she said defensively. "It's just dumb."

"Wow the thought of us together is dumb," he scoffed. "Tell me how you really feel."

"No I didn't mean it like that. It's—just—why are we talking about this?"

Olivia was getting more and more uncomfortable with every passing second. She opened her beer hoping that alcohol would help take the edge off.

"Oh come on Liv don't tell me you haven't thought about it before," he declared in a voice so low and husky it sent chills up her spine. She had never heard him sound like this before.

"Ok the fact that you are even talking like this means you've had one too many of these." She took the beer from his hand and put it on the counter. He smiled and picked it back up and drank from it again. She watched the muscles in his arm flex and the way his shirt fit against his hard chest. Elliot was sexy, there was no doubt about it. She had always noticed but right now with alcohol swimming through her veins, alone in her apartment, this line of questioning was treading in dangerous territory.

"Clearly you are thinking about it right now," he joked effectively catching her in the act of staring at his upper body. She opened her mouth to protest but he cut her off. "Lie and tell me you weren't."

She was about to protest again but decided against it when she made eye contact with him. She always loved his blue eyes. They were how she read everything that was wrong with him and how she knew if he was hurt or angry or depressed. She didn't see any of those emotions right now. She saw something else that made her heart start to race.

Desire.

He was clearly getting a kick out of watching her squirm but Olivia was never one to let anyone have the upper hand on her especially Elliot. She closed her eyes and mustered up all the courage she could to turn the tables.

"Tell me you haven't thought about it," she shot back raising her eyebrow at him and smirking.

"Will it make you feel better if I admit it first?"

"Yes," she flirted. "So have you?"

"Yeah," he answered simply and she wasn't expecting it. She expected him to change the subject but she didn't let him see that he caught her off guard.

"Really." She took another sip of her beer to buy herself some time. He won that round and by the shit eating grin on his face he knew it. So she struck back.

"So what specifically about us have you been thinking about Stabler?" she asked in a low rasping voice and she saw him swallow hard. His dick twitched and she saw him smile as if to tell her she got him.

"Oh no you still haven't admitted that you've thought about it before."

He was actually nervous at her response and took a sip of his beer while he waited for her to answer. He always thought it was obvious that he was attracted to Olivia but she on the other hand was always tough to read.

"Ok fine Elliot. I may have thought about it once or twice. There. Are you happy now?"

"I am actually," he responded triumphantly and walked with his chest poked out back to the sofa. She followed close behind and picked up the remote to mute the television since it was evident that they were paying attention to the movie anymore anyway.

"So you didn't answer my question," she said leaning back into the corner of the sofa. "What specifically did you think about?"

"Careful Liv," he warned. "Don't ask questions you aren't ready to hear the answer to."

Sonofabitch.

He was trying to knock her off her game again or maybe he was serious. She couldn't tell but she stood firm.

"If I wasn't ready I wouldn't have asked."

He mimicked her posture and sat back on the other end of the sofa pulling one of his legs under the other. "I thought about what it would be like if we—you know—"

"If we what?" She was goading him and he knew it.

"If we had sex Olivia. There I said it."

He used her full name. That rarely happened. He was starting to get edgy which is exactly what she wanted.

"And how long have you been having these thoughs?"

"Now wouldn't that be telling," he smiled and winked at her. Elliot Stabler actually winked at her and was being flirtatious. She couldn't fucking believe it. "So what specifically did you think about Liv? Us having sex?"

"No Elliot I thought about us building sandcastles, what do you think?" she bit off sarcastically.

He flashed a wry smile feeling he turned the tables once again. "Where were we when you had this fantasy?"

She huffed and she started to feel nervous again. She couldn't remember when she finished her beer and she needed to get another. When she moved to get up he stopped her.

"Ill grab it, I need to get another one myself."

He came back with two more beers and she didn't waste anytime taking another drink.

"Whoa whoa slow down Liv," he warned her. He put his hand on her arm to still her and he could feel the goosebumps start to form immediately. "Then again keep drinking. I may find out all kinds of stuff tonight."

She rolled her eyes and grabbed the remote. "Do you want to watch the rest of this movie or not?" She turned the movie back on only for it to be in the middle of a love scene. Elliot tried everything in him not to laugh at the shocked look on her face but the third beer was beginning to take its toll. He burst out laughing and she got pissed and threw the remote at him.

"You're a jackass."

"I know," he agreed putting the remote back on the table. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"No seriously," he said. "Thank you. Liv this is the most fun I've had in a long time. After the past few days I needed this."

Another about face.

"It's my pleasure," she replied sincerely.

"And speaking of your pleasure—" he started.

"Oh my god," she shrieked hitting him with a pillow.

He laughed absorbing the blow and put the pillow behind his head using it to get more comfortable.

"Don't you want to hear more about the sex thoughts I had?"

"No I don't," she lied.

"Well tell me about yours."

"Uhh no, you aren't telling me I'm not telling you."

"But I offered to tell you and you just didn't want to hear it," he reasoned.

She kept shaking her head no. "Doesn't matter."

"We were in the cribs, no one else was at the precinct," he began in that voice that made her weak and she hurried to put her hand over his mouth. Her body ended up sprawled over his, her side was leaned into his chest and her hip landing square in the groin area. Once she noticed their position she tried to pull back but was held back by his vice grip around her waist. She shot him a puzzling look and when his eyes dropped to her lips she felt panicked and nervous.

And aroused.

Her beers were starting to catch up to her too so her reflexes weren't as fast as they usually were. Elliot didn't make a move and she ultimately gathered her wits moving back to her normal sitting position on the couch.

He cleared his throat and shook his head trying to shake himself from the moment. He regretted not taking the chance but on the other hand he didn't want to spook her. He didn't know if he should apologize or something to take the awkwardness out of the moment but he decided to be honest with her instead.

He sat up on the sofa next to her, both his hands interlocked and his leg touching hers while he searched for the words to say. He wasn't used to bearing his feelings but he felt like she deserved to know the truth.

"You know Liv. When Ray had me in that warehouse and I was tied up I just started thinking about a lot of things," he started. Her body language immediately changed and she listened intently.

"I didn't know if backup was on the way or if you all could even find us. I feel like my life has just been all about responsibility and trying to do what I should do and I try and try and I still end up in a place where I'm miserable."

He furrowed his brow and picked at his jeans while he continued to pour his heart out to her. "I thought that maybe I need to just say fuck it and do what I want to do instead of what's expected of me. Maybe at least then I would be a little happy even if it's just temporary."

"That makes sense," she agreed putting her hand on his arm for comfort. "Now you just have to figure out what you want to do."

"I already know," he said softly. He turned his head and his eyes were once again on her lips.

"El-"

"I just can't imagine not knowing just once what it would be like to kiss you, to hold you," he breathed and his forehead got closer to hers. She was in a daze. His words were intoxicating. "To-"

"Don't say it," she interrupted and moved her face away from him slightly. She couldn't bear to hear Elliot say anything about them being intimate or she would lose all sense of self control.

"Liv. It's just one night," he smiled flirtatiously but she could see how serious he was. His blue eyes were suddenly darker and the air between them was thick. "You know it would be good. Don't you?" he breathed and she lost herself.

In the blink of an eye everything changed.

Her lips were on Elliot Stabler.


	3. Chapter 3

When Olivia's mouth connected with his, Elliot was temporarily caught by surprise. He quickly recovered, placing his hand behind her head to hold her in place while he deepened the kiss. This wasn't his plan when he came over tonight. He just wanted to see her and spend time with her to get his mind off of everything. But now that her soft full lips melded with his, he knew there was nothing else he wanted more.

He tilted his head to grant himself better access to savor her mouth fully. When his tongue touched hers, he heard her moan and the sultry sound went straight to his groin.

"El," she whimpered but was powerless to stop it. She didn't want to stop it. They were a mess of tongues and lips and breaths and moans.

Olivia pushed him slightly back into the corner of the sofa and her left side and hips were between his legs. She lied across him taking the power back from the kiss and her tongue regained dominance. She landed on his solid chest and Elliot moved his hand from her head down her side and cupped her right breast. His thumb flicked across her pert nipple and she bucked into him, her knee impulsively rubbing against his erection.

"Shit," he hissed at the contact and jerked upright reversing their positions with their mouths never breaking contact. Olivia didn't want to relinquish control. As long as she was in the driver's seat she could regulate how far this would go but the truth was she was already out of control the second her lips touched his. He laid her down on the opposite end of the sofa and immediately descended on her.

Her hands grasped the hem of his t-shirt pulling it up and squeezing his bare back. His mouth left hers and he worked his way down her cheek to her neck. Her skin tingled beneath his lips and she opened her legs with him fitting snugly in between. His groin connected with her core sending a burst of liquid heat through her. "Unhh," she cried out. The sound was so sexy and sent Elliot's need into her overdrive. He sat up on his knees pulling his shirt completely off. His hands were on the button of her pants and he locked eyes with hers silently asking for permission.

"Please," she breathed. She closed her eyes writhing beneath him desperate for him to touch her. She was flushed and the temperature in the room was stifling. She needed him on her. Inside her. He fumbled to get her pants down her legs because he was just as eager. Olivia leaned up to help him pull them off and they hit the floor. His hand cupped her intimately over her panties and she could tell by his sharp intake of air that he felt how wet she was.

She was still trying to process that this was happening with Elliot. Her body and mind were battling with each other. Every time she had a somewhat rational thought he would touch her and everything was lost. His hand rubbed her back and forth over her panties and his knuckle rubbed against her clit causing her to moan. The sensation felt so good that it was almost painful.

"El-"

It was supposed to be a plea for them to come to their senses but it sounded more like a plea for him to make her come. She needed to get his pants off. The slow torture was killing her and she was afraid she was going to come before he had a chance to get inside of her. She put her hands on his belt with the intentions of unbuckling it but there just wasn't enough time. She needed to touch him, to feel him. She let go of his belt and opened her palm against him to feel his length. Elliot growled against her neck as she gently squeezed him and that's when she felt it.

His cell phone was vibrating in his pocket.

Olivia tore her lips away from his. "El-"

"Yeah," he sighed in frustration pulling away from her. "Fuck."

She rested her head in her hands while he jerked the phone out of his pocket obviously annoyed.

"Stabler," he snapped. "Yeah….ok….we will be there in twenty minutes…bye."

Elliot threw the phone down and scrubbed his hand down his face trying to regain control of himself. He was pissed. He wanted her so much and she felt so good in his arms. Now the moment was lost. He had sacrificed a lot for this job over the years but he didn't hate his job more at any other moment than he did right now.

Olivia watched him warring with himself was suddenly a little bashful at her lack of clothes. "I guess that was Cragen," she concluded and grabbed her pants off the floor.

"Yeah," he gruffed.

She didn't know what to say so she got up and just started to get dressed. Her panties were wet to the point of discomfort. The atmosphere was awkward to say the least and the silence was deafening. Once her pants were on, she turned around while continuing to button her shirt and his eyes were on her. He hadn't moved since the phone rang.

"We have to get ready and go," she clarified and tried to read his expression.

"I know."

His expression was wide eyed and he hoped she could see how much he hated that their moment was ruined. He eventually got dressed and excused himself to the bathroom to calm himself down. Their ride to the crime scene was silent except for him regurgitating Cragen's message that there was a rape murder in Central Park. They traded glances during the drive but Elliot had to stop looking at her altogether or risk that his hard on would resurface. Her face was still slightly flushed and he wanted nothing more to hurry and process the crime scene so they could finish where they left off.

His wish was not granted.

Thanks to the rape murder in the park and April Troost and her crazy mother, it was another week before they had a free moment to talk about anything else other than work.

Olivia was wrapping up her paperwork on the Troost case when she noticed that Elliot kept looking at her. There were no active cases at the moment and she was nervous because she knew he wanted to talk. Just her luck. Elliot was never the world's biggest talker but she could feel him chomping at the bit. It was only a matter of time.

"Do you want to grab some lunch?" he asked breaking the tension.

And there it was.

"Umm, I really have to finish this paperwork."

He looked around to see who was near them before approaching her. Munch and Fin were bickering in one of the interview rooms and Cragen was on the phone in his office. He sat on the corner of the desk for a few beats willing her to talk. "We need to talk Liv."

She continued to type avoiding eye contact. "I have to finish this paperwork." She kept typing hoping he would eventually go away but this was Elliot. She knew how he operated. This wasn't going anywhere.

"Fine," she declared. She closed her laptop and stood up. "Something quick though I need to get back."

XXXXX

They sat across from each other picking at their sandwiches at the deli they frequented often. Elliot wasn't quite sure where to begin and Olivia was certainly not going to make it easy for him. He wanted to talk so she let him take the lead.

"So…" he muttered. "We haven't really talked since that night. Are we ok?"

She wanted to put her defenses up and be a bitch to him to hopefully get him to drop it but when she saw the crestfallen look on his face she simply couldn't.

"We're fine El. I promise," she tried to assure him. "It's just been a long week. I mean you know. You were there." She chuckled lightly at her desperate attempt at a joke. He gave her a small smile and began to pick at his salad.

"I don't regret it. I hope you don't either," he blurted out. Her hand stilled on her sandwich and she didn't know what to say. "Just say something. I'm worried that—"

"It's fine I told you. We're fine. We are normal like we've always been," she tried to convince herself. He was clearly not buying it.

"Do you regret it?"

It was the only question he needed the answer to. He needed to know that they were not permanently broken. It was all supposed to be a joke. Their innocent flirtation had turned into something more and now he felt like he was suffering the consequences without actually having had the reward of having sex with her.

She played with her napkin trying to search for the right answer.

"Do you regret it?" he asked again a little more forcefully.

"No."

And it was the truth. She hated that the air between them was thick now and they didn't know where to pick up without the stakes being higher.

He breathed a sigh of relief and she could see the tension release from his shoulders. She smiled despite herself and saw his arrogance slowly start to seep back into his posture.

"So..you don't regret it. Does that mean you liked it?" he smirked.

"Check please," she yelled towards the waitress.

They laughed and she was relieved that they were at least able to pick up be a little normal again.

"Come on Liv. I'm serious," he whispered. "Before we got interrupted…I uhh was enjoying myself."

There was that voice. The one that had her sprawled out on his sofa in practically nothing but her underwear.

"Yeah I think it was pretty obvious you were enjoying yourself," she flirted. The grin that he gave her in response sent those feelings rushing back into her and she adjusted herself in her seat.

He leaned in, his voice even lower so none of their colleagues that frequented the deli could hear. "I seem to recall that you were enjoying yourself as well. At least from what I could feel when I had my hand on your—"

"Elliot? I thought that was you," the voice interrupted. "Hey Detective Benson."

It took Olivia a moment to regain her composure and place who it was that approached the table. It was Agent Lisa Williams from Immigration. They worked together a few times over the years but she was surprised to see her so friendly.

"Hi Agent Williams," she greeted back but quickly noticed that her attention was not on Olivia but on Elliot.

"Hey Lisa how are you?" he finally asked.

It took Olivia a half a second to realize they were on a first name basis while she was addressed as Detective Benson. Elliot's demeanor had changed and he seemed a bit anxious.

"I'm good," she answered cheerfully.

"Good."

"So.." she started and shot a quick glance at Olivia, "Are we still on for Friday?"

Elliot started to clear his throat and Olivia tried her best to seem unaffected but she shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"Friday…Friday," he repeated trying to jog his memory. "Oh yeah that. I actually had something come up with the kids and I'll have them this weekend so…"

Olivia was starting to squirm. She needed air and to get out of there as soon as possible. Elliot watched her looking for a way out and needed to talk to her. He had completely forgotten about the date with Lisa. They had gone out twice over the past month and although she was nice and he enjoyed the date, he didn't feel like they had chemistry. They had agreed two weeks ago to go see a movie she liked. Now that there was something sparking with Olivia, even though they agreed for just one night, he wasn't interested in seeing Lisa again.

Olivia's phone started to vibrate and she didn't know who it was but she took it as a way to step away from the booth.

"Sorry I have to take this." She rushed to the restroom and was both thrilled and dejected to see it was Casey calling.

After convincing her to lie to anyone who asked that they had a meeting scheduled on a case she happened to not work with Elliot a few weeks ago, she took a few minutes to get herself together in the bathroom. Seeing Elliot with Agent Williams shook her. She knew that he probably dated but witnessing it up close and seeing that he had plans with someone else in a few days was a bit much for her. She needed air and to remove herself from the situation as quickly as possible.

When she walked out of the bathroom the first thing she noticed was that Lisa was now sitting down in the booth next to Elliot and he looked uncomfortable. She charged towards them and began to grab her belongings.

Elliot jumped to attention the second he saw her and started to panic when he saw her picking up her jacket. "Hey where are you going? Who was that on the phone?"

"That was Casey she needs me to meet her about the Meyers case," she declared trying to act nonchalant.

Elliot saw that she was barely making eye contact and talking a little too fast so he sprung into action. "Ok Lisa it was nice to see you," he started to stand and grab his jacket.

"Oh no you stay here. I'm going to catch a cab." She put her hand on his chest to stop him.

He leaned in to whisper so Lisa couldn't hear. "Olivia it's not what you think. She's—"

"Ok I'll see you back at the station," she interrupted noticing Lisa's prying eyes when they talked.

In a flash she was out the door.

She was at Casey's office within thirty minutes after walking a few blocks and then catching a cab. Casey was wrapping up a phone call but gestured for her to close the door and sit down.

"Sorry about that. That was April Troost's attorney."

Olivia rolled her eyes, "What did he want?"

"Same ole posturing but don't worry she's not seeing the baby and the Pallister's attorney is seeing to that. Its all good."

"Good."

"Soooooo you going to tell me what's going on?" Casey asked noticing Olivia's defensive posture.

She sighed and slumped in her chair.

"Uh oh," Casey said putting her phone on do not disturb and opening her bottom cabinet to pull out of a bottle of scotch.

"I'm in the middle of working Casey I can't drink that right now."

"If I know you, we are both going to need this to get through this conversation. Plus no one will know. I won't tell if you won't."

Olivia agreed and they both took a sip of the liquor. She fidgeted with the empty glass in her hands trying to figure out where to start. Much like Elliot, Olivia wasn't one to discuss her feelings all the time but she felt like she was in unchartered territory and she needed advice. Her first instinct was just to deflect and not deal with it but her job meant everything to her and as much as she didn't want to admit it Elliot meant even more. She didn't want to make any moves that were going to jeopardize her job or their partnership.

Casey waited patiently while watching Olivia gather the courage to talk.

"I kissed Elliot," she admitted. "Actually I kissed Elliot and we ended up half naked on his sofa and were about to have sex when we were called out on a case. We haven't talked about it and it's been weird so we decided to talk today."

Casey watched her closely and could see how self-conscious she was with the whole situation. "And what happened?"

"Well we talked about it and we got back on solid ground for about 2.4 seconds and then Agent Williams from Immigration walked up to remind Elliot about their date on Friday."

"Shut the fuck up!" Casey gasped. She was never one to mince words.

"Yep," she said casually putting her glass next to the scotch bottle again and Casey poured a little more.

"So they've been dating?"

"Guess so."

"Is it serious?"

"Well I have no idea, shit I didn't even know they had gone out before. He never said anything."

Casey poured herself another drink and waited to see if Olivia had more to say before she began.

"So anything else?"

Olivia looked appalled and sat back in her seat.

"It wasn't a crack against you Benson I just wanted to make sure you said everything before I give my two cents. Well in this case it may be more like a nickel."

She rolled her eyes and braced herself for what Casey had to say.

"Yes I'm done."

"Ok a few questions first. Who initiated the makeout session?"

Olivia shot her a guilty look.

"I'm so proud," Casey teased holding her heart in fake dramatics.

"Ok how was it?"

"Oh god," Olivia rolled her eyes. "This isn't the time to for your usual antics and being nosey."

"Humor me here. It's not what you think."

Olivia reluctantly acquiesced. "Ok fine. It was—It was—I expected it to be weird. I mean it's Elliot. But it wasn't. I kissed him and the next thing I knew we were all over each other," she explained suddenly wishing she could take another sip of scotch. "It felt good. Too good." She looked down feeling embarrassed at having said it out loud. The truth was over the past week whenever she had a free moment she couldn't stop thinking about how his hands felt on her, how soft but demanding his lips were and how her body instantly reacted to his touch.

Her body language didn't go unnoticed by Casey.

"This Agent Williams thing bothers you. Why?"

Olivia scoffed and started pacing. "Because I was about to sleep with someone that I don't even know what the hell he's doing or _who_ he's doing. I had no idea that he was dating someone that we work with."

"And you feel like he should've shared that with you," Casey finished for her.

"I know he doesn't owe me an explanation."

"Exactly," Casey agreed.

"But I was blindsided and it bothers me and I don't know why."

"Can I say my piece now?"

"Am I going to need another drink?" Olivia asked with a small smile.

"Probably but you can't have another because you have to go back to work and so do I," she replied. "It bothers you because the thing with you and Elliot has always been gray. It's evident there are feelings there but the two of you won't go there for whatever reason."

Olivia got ready to interrupt and Casey held up her hand to stop her.

"I know I know you are friends and partners. I get it. I don't want to get it but I do. Anyway, you knew he was dating. You even mentioned it to me when we were at the bar that night. It bothers you now because maybe that kiss opened up something within you that you finally have to face. I'm not naïve enough to believe that you don't know you have feelings for him. You are just in denial and won't admit it to anyone else and I'm cool with that. Just please don't penalize him because he hasn't done anything wrong. Just because your feelings are hurt it doesn't mean he did anything wrong. He is single for all intents and purposes and he's dating. His hot partner kissed him and he wasn't going to turn that down. If anything I think I just developed a whole new respect for the man," she joked. Against her better judgment Olivia couldn't help but smile.

"I hate you sometimes," was the only response she could come up with.

"I know I know. But honestly what are best friends for?"

Olivia pulled out her phone and began to scroll through her missed calls.

"I still hold firm to my original thought," Casey said. "You need to get laid or maybe go out on a date. So maybe you need to pick up where you guys left off."

Before she could finish Olivia pressed on the number and had the phone to her ear listening while it rang. "Casey you are half right. I do need to go out and get laid." A second later the person on the other end of the phone picked up. "Hey Charles it's me Olivia Benson. I wanted to take you up on that offer to go out if you are still interested."

XXXXX

When Olivia got back to the station, Elliot was gone with Fin to chase a lead. She had missed his phone calls while talking to Casey and even though she made plans with Charles she wasn't in a big hurry to talk. The next day at work he informed her that he would be leaving early to get ready for his weekend with the kids. They were going camping for the weekend and he was excited to spend some extended time with them. She was expecting him to address what happened the day before at the diner and her avoiding his phone calls but he was preoccupied with finding camping equipment and the kids were calling him all day.

She was a little disappointed but she decided to not let it get to her. She was preparing for her date with Charles. He had theatre tickets to see Spamalot and they were going to dinner afterwards. It had been a long time since she went to the theatre or just had a normal date so it was something to look forward to. She arrived home later that evening after shopping for a new dress to wear on the date. When the elevator doors opened and she glanced down the hall the first figure she saw standing at her door was none other than Elliot Stabler.

She took a deep breath and almost stopped in her tracks but he made eye contact with her and she slowly kept walking.

"Hey," she said breathy. "What are you doing here? I thought you were leaving tonight."

His hands were in his pocket and he was shuffling anxiously back and forth. "I am. I'm on my way to get the kids I just wanted to talk to you first."

He waited for her to open the door and invite him in but when she didn't budge he continued. "I'm going to be late so I have to be quick. That whole thing with Lisa at the diner—"

"You don't have to explain anything to me Elliot. What you do with your time is your business," she cut him off.

"I know I don't have to but I want to. Her and I went out a couple of times before anything with—this," he explained gesturing between the two of them. "I just wanted you to know I'm not seeing her again and I wasn't trying to keep anything from you."

She shook her head and chuckled uncomfortably. "Like I said you don't have to explain what you do on your own time. We were just having fun right? One night that's what we agreed to."

"Yeah. About that," he replied hesitantly. "I hope it's still on the table."

His eyes met hers and she saw the same look of sincerity mixed with desire that catapulted her into action the last time. This time her feet stayed planted firmly on the ground and she fought with herself not to move.

She didn't want it to be off the table. She wanted him. Against her better judgment and all things that made sense in the world. She wanted her partner.

"El—"

She couldn't finish her sentence because he was not going to sit there and listen to her make up some excuse or turn him down. He didn't have much time so he reacted on instinct. What he wanted and what he hoped she wanted as well.

His lips were on Olivia Benson.


	4. Chapter 4

Confession: I may have been listening to "All I Ask" by Adele on repeat when I wrote this chapter.

Chapter 4

Olivia stood in front of the mirror in the cribs fixing her dress. With Elliot out of town, she was working longer days so she brought everything to work to get ready. Her hair was straight and tucked partly behind her ears, her black dress hugged her curves but still left something to the imagination and her clutch rounded out the ensemble. She was satisfied with how she looked, but not satisfied with who she was going out with. She had called Charles to cancel the day before but lost her nerve when he sounded overly excited when she called. She also knew the theatre tickets were nonrefundable.

She sat down on the bench to put on her heels when her eyes floated up to the name of the locker in front of her..Stabler. He had not left her mind since he showed up at her apartment the other night.

His lips were more demanding than the first time they kissed. Olivia touched her lips at the memory of how he coaxed her mouth open, his tongue plunging deep inside her mouth. His hands were at the small of her back and he pulled her as close to him as possible. She moaned at the contact and wrapped her arms around his neck pulling his head down even closer. Goosebumps had formed all over her body and she felt the beginnings of his erection against her leg. He finally pulled away from her to give them both a chance to catch their breaths and rested his forehead against hers.

"I'm running late, I have to go get the kids," he explained and she couldn't help but wish that he had a bit more time. Her body had been aching for him. It was so foreign but so exciting at the same time.

The sound of her phone buzzing jolted her back to the present. She put on both of her heels and opened the door to the cribs to meet Charles who let her know he was downstairs in the lobby. As she walked through the squad room, she barely noticed the stares from her coworkers at her attire but focused on Elliot's empty desk and the fact that he couldn't get to her elevator that night before running back to her real quick and stealing another kiss. The thought brought a smile to her face and gave her a tingling feeling. She didn't know how she was going to get through the evening with one man while another was at the forefront of her mind. She wished that Elliot was back in town so they could pick up where they left off but she knew he needed the time with his kids.

She spotted Charles the second she entered the lobby. He was a good-looking guy and someone that if it wasn't for her errant thoughts of her partner she would totally be interested in.

"You look fantastic," he complimented her and gave her a small kiss on the cheek.

 _I'll see you when I get back._

She tried to shake Elliot's words from her head. "Thank you," she answered. "Shall we?"

"Absolutely."

She was still rattled by the thoughts of her partner when Charles opened the car door for her to get in. She had one leg almost in when she heard Cragen's unmistakable voice behind her. "Liv, I need you," he stated simply. Just like that, her date was off. She shot Charles an apologetic look.

"Ill call you. I'm sorry," she whispered and followed Cragen inside. The following hours were a whirlwind. She was momentarily relieved to not go on the date until she went upstairs and discovered the details of the case. It was a mysterious 911 call from a child believed to be abducted.

XXXXXX

Elliot walked into his empty apartment drained from the long drive. Kathleen had gotten sick so they cut the trip short by a day so she could go home and rest. Although he hated to miss time with his kids, he was overjoyed that the trip in itself went well. His daughters had a tendency to be high maintenance but they were on their best behavior considering the less than glamorous setting. His cell reception was spotty and every once a while he would sneak away to text Olivia. She responded at first but then later he didn't hear back. He reached out to Munch to make sure everything was ok at work and Munch told him about the Recinos case. Olivia was running point and she was 100% dedicated to finding the missing girl…as she always was. He was worried and texted her to call him if she needed to. She hadn't called when he got word from Munch a few hours before that the case was wrapped up and that Maria had been found alive. He thought about going to her place to check on her but when he passed by on the way home her lights were out and he could tell she wasn't home.

He unpacked and settled on the couch nursing a beer trying to find something to watch on television. He kept checking his phone to see if he had any messages from her but there wasn't anything. If anyone knew how bad cases could affect you it was Elliot and he wanted to give her the space she needed but he felt a shift between them since the night in her apartment.

It wasn't supposed to change anything.

It was a stupid conversation in a bar that was supposed to be all in fun but when she was laid out beneath him and he could feel how turned on she was for him it changed something for him. He felt a stronger sense of possession for her and when Lisa interrupted them in the diner and mentioned their date he immediately felt like he owed her an explanation. He had only kissed her. He hadn't had the chance to be inside her but he already felt like she was his.

He got up and started pacing around the living room, draining what was left of his beer and getting another. He didn't know how they got here in such a short amount of time. How she went from his partner and best friend to someone that he was up at night thinking about constantly.

Elliot needed to relieve some tension and thought about going to the gym but it was late. He once again considered going to her place and just sitting there to wait for her to come home. He just needed to make sure she was ok. He finished his second beer, grabbed his jacket and decided to take a cab to her place. He was going to sit there until she got home since he figured he wasn't going to be sleeping much anyway.

XXXXX

Olivia drove around for an hour not sure where she wanted to go. Her phone kept ringing. If it wasn't Charles looking to reschedule their date and check on her, it was Fin or Elliot. Everyone was just concerned about her, she knew that but all she could think about was pulling Maria Recinos out of that garbage bag in that empty lot. It was a scene she knew no amount of alcohol would be able to erase.

Olivia cried to herself in the car on the way to the hospital, held Maria's hand while she was examined by a doctor and took her statement. She stayed with the social worker and a piece of her heart ripped out at the sound of her name on the little girl's tongue when she had to leave. She decided to stay until Maria was sleeping and settled. She didn't want to go home. She didn't want to call Charles back. There was only one place she wanted to be.

She parked the car and followed another tenant inside the apartment building. There was no thinking, agonizing or deliberating. She had made up her mind. When she arrived at the door she took a deep breath and knocked. She had only knocked once when the door opened and his keys were in his hands.

"Liv? I was just on my way to see you," Elliot announced a bit startled to see her at his door.

She smiled nervously and put her hands in her pockets. "Great minds think alike I guess. Can I come in?"

He backed away from the door and gestured with his left hand. "Of course come on in."

She looked around for a second and turned around to face him while he shut the door.

"Do you want a drink or something?" he offered.

Olivia shook her head. "No. That's not what I want."

She took all of him in. From his broad shoulders to muscular forearms, toned stomach and his trademark arrogant stance. He watched her closely as if she was a wild caged animal that any sudden movement would cause a problem.

"El," she breathed. "You said—you said just one night right? One night and we would be okay tomorrow. Right?" She was nervous and fidgeting but she had never wanted anything more than she wanted her partner at this moment.

He held his breath while he processed her words. He wanted to tell her that he had doubts that he could be with her one time and that he felt stronger for her than he realized. He wanted to confess that he thought maybe they should give it a real shot. But when his eyes locked with hers and he saw the need and desperation, he swallowed his deliberations. "Yeah Liv. We will be okay tomorrow. I promise."

She regarded him for a moment and stepped forward wrapping her arms around his waist. They swayed back and forth, just hugging and she felt so at home and safe in his arms. He had always been such a rock for her and now she wanted the comfort of not only his words and friendship..but his body.

Her fingers dug into his lower back where she held him and she began to slowly massage his skin. She lifted her head from his chest and kissed a trail from his shoulder to his neck. She felt him start to respond to her touch by rubbing her back as she continued to kiss and nip at him. She lightly bit his earlobe and he gasped. She took advantage of his open mouth and kissed him hard and urgently. He cupped her ass and he put his tongue in her mouth deepening the kiss. Olivia was firing on all cylinders now. Her body was on full alert and she felt the familiar feelings creeping back inside her like she felt during their last attempt at intimacy. Her nipples were hard and scraping against his shirt. She slid off her jacket and then slid his down his arms, never breaking contact with his mouth. He squeezed her breasts and she was turned on from the way they fit perfectly in his big hands. He flicked her nipples and she cried out grasping for the hem of his shirt. She needed to feel his skin against hers. She was tired of there being barriers between them. Tonight, just for tonight she told herself.

She wanted all of Elliot Stabler. Every inch.

When his shirt hit the ground, she reached for his belt buckle but he stopped her deciding to pull her shirt off instead. When her crème lace bra came into view, Elliot growled and the sound sent the liquid heat pooling into her panties. She couldn't remember the last time she was this turned on.

Elliot was trying to pace himself but the contrast between Olivia's olive skin and crème bra with her breasts overflowing sent all the blood flowing straight to his dick. He had a lot of doubts about things in his life but there was no doubt in his mind that he was going to bury himself as deep as he could within Olivia and make her come as many times as she would allow. He was going to stop at nothing to make her scream his name in ecstasy. He wanted to taste every inch of her body but none of that was going to happen if they didn't slow things down.

Olivia went for his belt buckle again and he stilled her. The stakes were higher this time and if she rubbed him the way she did the last time, this endeavor would be over before it began. He was certain there would be no interruptions because he wasn't scheduled back at work until Monday and she was off the next few days after the case. There was time.

"Liv wait," he breathed. "Let's take this to the bedroom."

Before she could protest, he took her hand and walked her to his room. He shut the door and she immediately began to kiss him again. Elliot's lips would be the death of her. She didn't know how it was possible that someone who was rough around the edges in so many ways managed to have such soft lips and kiss her so tenderly.

"Hold on a second," he said holding both her hands and her body away from him.

"What is it now?" she asked with a mix of frustration and arousal.

"Liv I—I don't have," he swallowed hard. This was awkward but he knew he had to get this part of the conversation out of the way before he was too far gone to even think straight. "I don't have any condoms."

"What? How can you not have any?" she asked removing her hands from his grasp.

"Because I haven't needed them. There hasn't been anyone…since Kathy."

"Oh."

"I told you I wasn't serious about anyone."

Thoughts started to run through Olivia's mind about what that meant that he was willing to have sex with her as a casual thing and not anyone else but she shook all rationality from her mind. She still wanted him. More than anything.

"Let me go to the store," he offered getting ready to put on his pants.

"El. It's fine."

"Li-" she put two fingers over his mouth to quiet him.

"El. It's fine. I'm on the pill. I want to feel all of you," she sighed shyly. "Unless you want to—"

He kissed her before she could finish. "No. I want to feel you too," he agreed in between kissing her. "All of you."

He unbuckled her belt while continuing to make love to her mouth. Olivia felt like she was intoxicated. His touch, his lips, his body had all of her senses on high alert. He dragged her jeans down her long legs and she was in such a daze that he had to help her step out of them.

"Shit," he cursed at the vision of her in her bra and matching crème lace panties. His dick was throbbing with need. He guided her over to his bed and she sat down on the edge. She was trembling and he couldn't tell if he was from fear or need. "Are you ok?"

She shook her head yes and reached for his belt buckle. He didn't stop her this time and held his breath while she pulled his pants down. He was trying to stay in control and he prayed for the will to be able to hold it together and not embarrass himself in front of her. She stroked his impressive length through his boxer briefs and he threw his head back. He needed to stay strong. When he heard her moan he put his hand over hers to stop her. He didn't know if he would get this chance again and he needed to take his time. Hearing her make sexy sounds would do nothing but have him rip her panties to shreds and be submerged in her without preamble.

Elliot began to lie on top of her and she leaned back. She spread her legs and he settled in between, his lips colliding with hers. She poured every bit of frustration, hurt, anger, lust and desire into the kiss. Every emotion she had been feeling over the past couple of days. He returned the kiss with just as much fervor and began to pull down the strap of her bra. She was nervous for a split second at the realization that he was about to see her naked for the first time. She held her breath as the bra came down her arms and her bare breasts came into view. He unhooked the clasp from the back and threw it on the floor. Her caramel nipples hardened even more under his stare. He gazed at them for a few seconds before his eyes met hers again and his blue irises were almost black. He wasted no time taking her right breast into his mouth sucking so hard that she arched off the bed at the sensation.

"Ahhhhh," she gasped and put her hand on the back of his head. His tongue flicked her nipple and she could feel the slickness seep onto her thighs. He kneaded her other one pulling it between his thumb and index finger and then switched sides taking the other breast in his mouth and she moaned.

She had to have him inside her. She didn't want foreplay. She didn't want them to take this slow. She wanted him in between her legs hard and fast. While he focused on her breasts, she maneuvered herself to rid him of his boxers. It was hard for her to reach and she used her legs to help pull them down. She got them down to his ankles and her hand began to work her way down. He moved just out of her reach and dragged his mouth from her breasts down her stomach and his lips landed right above her panties. He looked up at her and saw her hooded eyes. He could sense she was nervous but she was turned on too. There was no turning back.

"Please," she begged. He had her panties off in an instant throwing them on the floor to join the other pile of clothes. He sat up on his knees, his eyes focused on the small patch of brown curls and the glistening between her legs. He spread her legs even wider settling them on both sides of his hips and sank one finger inside her. He gasped when he felt how ready she was.

"So wet," he murmured appreciatively.

She arched off the bed again and her eyes rolled in the back of her head. Elliot watched her and he never thought he saw anything more erotic in his entire life.

"Fuuu-," she breathed writhing on the bed. He added a second finger and he could feel her starting to clench against him. She was going to come. His hand hadn't been between her legs for more than a minute and her traitorous body was about to shatter for him. He wanted the first time she came to be with him pushing inside of her but he decided he needed her to come against his fingers. He wanted to see her, all of her, as he brought her to the brink.

Elliot continued to thrust his fingers in and out of her core and she braced her feet on the bed, scrunching the sheets in her hands as she felt the orgasm building up within her.

"El, I'm-," she groaned but couldn't form the sentence.

"I know," he rasped curling his fingers inside her walls. "Let it go Liv." No sooner than the words left his lips, she was bucking off the bed, the orgasm ripping through her and her legs falling beside him as her walls clenched down on him. It took every bit of willpower he had not to come at the sight of her. Her skin was flushed, there were beads of sweat on her forehead and she squeezed one of her breasts without thinking while she tried to calm her breathing.

But Elliot couldn't wait.

He had waited long enough.

He pulled off his boxers entirely and climbed back on top of her. His length rested against her opening and he could feel the heat radiating from her.

"Spread your legs wider," he whispered in her ear and she thought she would pass out she was so turned on. Her hands were under his arms grasping his back. He kissed her at the exact moment that he pushed into her.

"Unhh," she moaned into his mouth and he bit down on her lip at the feeling of her soft velvet walls.

"You're so tight," he breathed. His eyes were screwed shut trying to maintain control. "You ok?"

She clenched her muscles and he jerked a little. "Yeah. Don't stop please."

He took a deep breath and began to fill her with every inch of him. As he got deeper, he could feel her short nails digging into his back. Her lips left his and she threw her head back moaning.

He pulled almost completely out and sank bank into her in one thrust and could feel her body begin to accept him. He did it again and again and soon they had developed their own rhythm. Olivia almost blacked out at the sheer pleasure that he was evoking from her body. He filled every millimeter inside of her and she bit her bottom lip to stop herself from screaming.

This.

This is what she needed.

There was no other care in the world. It wasn't about victims or bodies or rapes or murders. It was about her and the man she cared about most in the world coming together to give and take from each other exactly what they both wanted. They made love the way they worked. In sync, in perfect rhythm, sensing what the other person needed. All awkwardness was gone. It was like they knew each other's bodies for years. Elliot increased his rhythm making sure to bury himself deep within her and hold it with each thrust. The motion brushed against her clit and she began to cry out every time his dick drove into her.

"Jesus El. It's so good," she cooed. The sweat began to run down his back and he could feel the tingling building up. Although she was beneath him, Olivia began to roll her hips and Elliot growled.

"Liv—You're gonna make me-," he tried to choke out. "You gotta come for me baby," he begged and she didn't have time to process that he called her baby. She shattered at his words holding on to him tight as he pumped into her a few more times before releasing. She felt his warmth spread inside her and she closed her eyes absorbing it all.

They held each other for what seemed like minutes, while breaths and heart rates slowed, their bodies still connected in the most intimate of ways. She didn't want him to let go and for a fleeting moment that terrified her.

Elliot sat up on his forearms, still keeping their lower halves in tact but trying to keep his weight off of her.

"You ok?" he asked. She could sense that he was a little nervous.

She smiled and took the little energy she had left to bring her index finger to his cheek and rub it. "Yes. I'm more than ok."

He returned her smile and gently pulled out of her. Seeing him lay back on the bed and help them both under the covers was the last thing she saw before her eyes drifted closed and she fell in a deep sleep.

XXXXXX

Olivia woke up startled for a moment when she realized she wasn't in her bed. The memories all came flooding back to her.

Her.

Elliot.

Sex.

Defying all laws of nature she felt her body react again at the thoughts of him between her legs.

She needed to go to the bathroom. The room was dark and when she tried to get up her limbs were much heavier than she realized. When she returned from the bathroom, she leaned slightly over the bed and saw that Elliot was sound asleep. She looked around for a clock to see what time it was and saw it was a little after 1am. She must've been sleeping for a little over two hours. She didn't know what the rules were for leaving. They agreed to one night. She looked around for her clothes and decided she didn't want to make it uncomfortable for him so she would get dressed and go home even though a large part of her wanted to stay. She was getting her underwear off the floor when she heard his groggy voice. "Get back in the bed Liv."

She was startled and although it was pretty dark her eyes were adjusted enough to see that he rolled over on his side and was staring at her.

"I should—"

"Get back in the bed," he deadpanned.

She sighed and sat back down on the bed. "Do you have a t-shirt I can put on?"

"No." She could hear the smile in his voice and it made her feel better that things hadn't gotten weird.

"I'm serious."

"Me too. Lay back down." He pulled the covers back and waited patiently while she laid back down next to him.

"We are not going to cuddle," she joked.

"Oh I know," he retorted. She felt the bed shifting and saw that he was moving. She couldn't tell what he was doing until she felt his hand on her thigh pulling it towards him. He could feel that she was unsure of what was going on and he preferred it that way. Olivia was always in control of everything and tonight he wanted to take some of that control from her.

"What are you doing?" she asked when she started to feel him maneuver his body back on top of her.

He brushed his lips across hers barely touching them and spoke. "I want to taste you."

Her nipples immediately hardened and she could feel herself getting wet for him again.

"El we can't," she pleaded clearly aroused.

"No?" he asked and she could hear the playfulness in his voice. His hand cupped her mound and she leaned into his touch. He chuckled lightly feeling her move against his hand wanting the penetration.

"Are you sure it isn't yes?" he breathed kissing her neck. He couldn't get enough of her. "Tell me Yes." His middle finger entered her and she whimpered. She was getting wetter and wetter the more he stroked.

"Yes," she breathed. He kissed her again and she watched as the top of his head descended lower and lower until it settled in between her legs. When his warm tongue licked the most private part of her body she cried out in pleasure and in agony. She came against his mouth and she came with his dick buried inside of her again. When the last orgasm ripped through her body and she held on to her partner and best friend for dear life, she closed her eyes tight and let one rational thought finally creep in.

She realized she was in fucking trouble.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Elliot lay in the bed staring up at the ceiling while a car alarm was blaring outside, cats were fighting near the garbage cans and he could hear a random person outside singing. It wasn't always ideal to sleep with a crack in the window but once he started living by himself he found the noise strangely comforting while he adjusted to his new lifestyle. The noise from the outside world helped him feel not as alone. Tonight is the first night that he wants to close the window. Olivia is lying next to him, her steady breathing is like a lullaby and he doesn't feel alone anymore.

It was nothing but pure desire that drove him to stop her when it was obvious that she was getting ready to leave. He wasn't done with her yet. He had never been the most aggressive when it came to women because he didn't have to be. He had taken a more laid back approach to getting back in the dating scene over the past year and found that most women found it appealing and pursued him as a result. But Olivia was never most women. He stood back and watched her from afar over the past year wondering if she would ever say or do anything and she hadn't. It was that and the hardness between his legs that made him speak up and ask her to get back in bed.

He wanted to taste her and as crude as it sounded he wanted to fuck her again. So he did. When he told her what he wanted to do he predicted that she would say no. He could feel that she was nervous that their "arrangement" had taken a different turn but he was pleasantly surprised when she complied. Her body yielded to his and the sound of her calling his name when she came was something that he knew would haunt his dreams indefinitely. He knew for sure he was a lucky son of a bitch when she woke him up an hour later straddling his hips and sliding down his length without so much as a word. He knew Olivia and how she operated. She was fighting for some control back and he let her. She brought his hands up to hold on to her breasts as she rolled her hips and rode him at her own pace. He was mesmerized watching her move above him and when it was apparent that his orgasm was close, she kissed him hard and increased her speed bringing them both to an earth shattering end.

In the quiet moments after he closed his eyes and hoped she wouldn't leave. And she didn't. She quietly fell back asleep. That was a couple of hours ago. The clock next to him reads 4:13am and he's fighting every urge in his body to not wake her up again. He's hard. Again. He wants her. Again. But rather than take the chance, he lets her sleep because as long as she's sleep she's still there. And that's what he wants most of all.

As soon as he started to doze off he felt her move in the bed. He thought she was getting up to go to the bathroom or leave but she started to thrash her head back and forth and he could hear her whimper. He hears the name "Maria" and realizes she is having a nightmare.

"Liv," he whispered. He shook her shoulder gently not wanting to be too rough. "Liv wake up."

She continues to move her head and say no over and over. He shakes her a little more and her eyes fly open. "El?"

"Yeah. I'm here." He is on his side hovering over her in a half hug while she is on her back. He can see the wheels turning in her head while she's trying to process what happened between them, her nightmare and the fact that she is laying in his arms right now. "I'm here Liv," he repeats.

He rests his forehead against hers and her chest begins to heave less and her breathing is returning to normal. He lightly strokes her arm and he can feel her body relaxing into his. He's trying to not think about how natural this feels holding her in his arms. There's so much he wants to say but he doesn't want to ruin the moment. He doesn't know a lot about her personal life but he doesn't think she has ever seemed to commit to any man for long. As much as he wants to tell her how he feels and that he wants her to give them a real shot, he will keep it to himself for now. Until he feels she's ready to hear it.

XXXX

Olivia can't believe that she had another nightmare about Maria. Every time she closed her eyes she couldn't get the little girl's face out of her mind. The last time she rolled over and the first thing she wanted was to feel him inside of her. She's fighting the urge to take him again but her body is protesting. Her limbs are sore from the amount of sex she has had in such a short period of time. But she needs something. His forehead is on hers and she's in his arms and there just has to be something. She lifts her head slightly catching his bottom lip between hers. She sucks and pulls on it and still can't believe how soft and welcoming his lips are. He moans when she starts to nip at his top lip and opens her mouth completely to his. This kiss is different than the others. He's not cupping her breasts or moving his hand between her legs. Instead it's relaxed and languid. Her hand is holding his head to hers and he is gently stroking her cheek. It feels like Sunday mornings and walks in the park. Easy. Natural. It's feels like something she's not ready to admit yet.

They kissed for what seemed like hours, breaking apart to catch their breaths before their lips joined again. Eventually he kissed her on her forehead, turned her on her side and cuddled up behind her. She fell asleep instantly. When she woke up a few hours later she was happy to see that she had no more nightmares about Maria. She felt safe, she felt relaxed….she also felt Elliot's morning hard on against her ass.

Olivia bit her lip to stop herself from giggling. She wanted to panic and feel nervous at how intimate the whole situation had become and the feelings that were bubbling to the surface, but instead she sighed and rubbed her hand against his that was draped near her covered breast.

"Good Morning," Elliot rasped near her ear. She didn't even realize that he was awake.

"Good Morning. What time is it?" She looked around for a clock but it was on his side of the bed. He leaned over to look at it. "It's 9:30."

"Shit," she panicked and started to look around for her clothes. "I didn't realize I slept so long."

"Well you were tired," he countered with a playful tone. She kept moving around in the bed to spot her clothes and cell phone but his arm was still around her waist.

"Very funny Elliot. You seem to be pretty tired yourself." She put her hand on his arm to move it and he finally relented allowing her to get out of the bed.

"Well what can I say? You wore me out."

Her lighthearted grin dropped for a second at the mention of what they had done. She quickly recovered and gave him a shy smile.

"I need to get going," she changed the subject. She sat on the edge of the bed, picked up her bra and began to put it back on. "You are off today. It's Sunday. Why are you rushing?" He was disappointed that she was leaving.

"I don't want to take up your day El. Do you have the kids or something to do?"

He crossed his hands behind his head watching her get dressed. "Nope. I wasn't supposed to come back until tonight remember? I don't have anything to do."

She stood up to put on her jeans and wobbled on her feet almost losing her balance. The stress of the night's activities left her more sore than she realized. She looked behind her to see Elliot trying to hide his amusement under the blanket and failed miserably. She couldn't help but smile when she saw him. "Go ahead. Get it out of your system."

"You are clearly in no shape to be going out. You should stay here and rest your body," he offered still laughing.

"I have a feeling if I stay here my body won't be getting much rest." The words were out of her mouth before she realized it. "I mean—"

"Oh I know exactly what you meant." He leaned over towards the end of the bed and threw her jeans back down on the floor. "Just stay."

She sighed and felt the fight leaving her body. She really did have nothing planned for the day and as much as she hated to admit it she did enjoy Elliot's company outside of work. She liked the light hearted side of him that she was beginning to see lately but she felt staying longer would just lead to something they both agreed wouldn't happen.

"El, we said this would be for one night," she reminded him.

"I know. We said sex for one night. That doesn't mean we can't hang out right?" he challenged her. "I mean unless you can't trust yourself around me."

"Oh please," she rolled her eyes.

"No I really get it Liv. You should probably go. I know me in this bed naked would be too hard for you to resist," he teased letting the blanket conveniently fall off him exposing his ass.

Olivia was never one to back down from a challenge especially involving Elliot. She wasn't sure she would win, but she knew either way she wasn't going to lose. "Ok El. You're on. I'll stay."

He smiled in victory and returned back under the covers.

She began to unhook her bra, her eyes never leaving his.

"What are you doing?" he asked his voice dropping suddenly.

"I'm actually still a little tired so I'll sleep a little longer." She leisurely pulled the underwear down her legs and climbed back in the bed. "Is that ok with you?"

He cleared his throat and scrubbed his hand down his face. "Yeah yeah that's fine."

"Are you sure? You seem a little nervous" She was enjoying this and he smiled back at her accepting her challenge. He pulled the blanket back and tapped the space next to him inviting her back into the bed. She climbed in and laid back down quickly turning to her side like she was laying previously. She waited to see if he would join her but he was as still as a statue.

"El?"

"Yeah"

"I slept really well when you were cuddled up behind me. Do you mind?"

He sat still for awhile thinking about praying for the ability to control himself but he figured that he probably shouldn't be bringing God into this. He scooted behind her and she quickly settled into his body. They lay still for a few minutes before Olivia started to move and fluff the pillow underneath her. She settled back into him again wiggling her ass against his groin under the guise of trying to get comfortable.

"Liv?"

"Yeah."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry I can't get comfortable," she lied trying hard to keep the smile out of her voice.

"Try harder," he said simply. He sat up allowing her to fluff the pillows and move around to get settled. "Better?"

She looked up at him with innocent eyes. "Yes thank you."

They were laying for a few more minutes when she felt him start to doze off and she made her move. She squirmed and her ass connected right against his length. He moaned and put his hands on her hip to still her.

"Careful Liv. Don't start something you can't finish," he warned.

"I think we both know I can finish. We just shouldn't." When the words left her mouth she didn't think they made much sense but she felt she should stick to her guns.

"Why?" It was a question he genuinely wanted the answer to.

She could here the seriousness in his voice and turned around to face him. They were both laying on their sides facing each other with their hands resting in their hands and weight on their elbows.

"Because we talked about this. We didn't want to change our partnership or our friendship remember?"

"Yeah I remember. We did it..a few times," he quipped giving her a mischievous smile. "So now we know what it's like."

"Right," she agreed.

He looked down nervously while he worked up the courage to ask the next question. "So…what was it like?" Elliot was cocky when it came to a lot of things but when it came to sex his experience was limited. He and Kathy had good sex at one point but when the marriage started to deteriorate so did their sex life. During the last year before their separation they were barely intimate at all and the fact that Kathy stopped trying made him feel a bit insecure.

Olivia was genuinely surprised by the question. "Elliot Stabler are you actually asking me if it was good for me?" she inquired with a sly grin.

"Well yeah."

"I thought it was pretty obvious that I did. I mean I did—you know." She didn't want to just say the word. Even though they had sex, talking about the two of them and sex was still awkward territory.

He wasn't prepared to let her off easy. "Know what?"

"You are such a jerk sometimes. You know what I mean. I had several orgasms Elliot so it should be pretty obvious that I enjoyed myself."

He blushed a little. "I'm the jerk but you couldn't just answer my question with a simple yes."

She put her arm down and settled into the pillow.

"I was just making sure." He dropped his arm and settled into the pillow next to her.

"I kept coming back for more so that should've been a sign."

"Oh you definitely kept coming," he joked.

"You are such an asshole," she laughed. He smiled and the gleam in his eye sent a rush through her. She tried to keep herself talking so she wouldn't get lost. "So did you enjoy yourself?"

"Very much so," he answered instantly. "You're amazing Liv."

She tried to stop the red from showing on her cheeks but the smile he gave her proved that she was unsuccessful.

"You're not so bad yourself. So I guess we were right."

"About what?" He flipped onto his stomach pulling the pillow tight under his head.

She mimicked his position. "We both said we thought about it and figured it would be good. I guess we were right."

"I guess so," he replied wistfully. He regarded her closely. Her hair was down and a little messed up. Her make up was mostly worn off and she looked more relaxed and carefree than he had ever seen her. Olivia was a beautiful woman. There was no doubt about that but it was seeing her like this fresh faced first thing in the morning without the weight of the world on her shoulders that really showcased her beauty. "Thank you for staying. I really didn't want you to go."

She could see the sincerity in his eyes and it touched her. They both hadn't had the easiest of times lately but the fact they could find comfort in each other meant a lot to her. "You are welcome. Although I do think before long you are going to want to get rid of me."

"You think so?"

"Yep. When I start making my demands it can be a bit much," she teased.

"Lay it on me."

"Well I already did that," she flirted and he raised his eyebrow.

"First the ass wiggling then this. That's strike two." He held up two fingers to emphasize his point.

"And what happens on the third strike?"

"The rate you are going you will find out soon enough."

She rolled her eyes and slapped him lightly on the chest. "Anyway back to my demands. I need breakfast and coffee."

"I thought you were sleepy."

 _Busted._ "Well you and all your talking woke me up," she lied.

"Ok. Whatever you say," he rolled over to get ready to get out of bed but she touched his arm stilling him. She wasn't ready to end their pillow talk quite yet.

"I'm not ready to eat just yet though. Maybe we could just stay here for a little longer."

He smiled and laid back down on his stomach facing her. "Ok."

"Sooo…what do you normally do on your days off?" She was trying to make conversation and she realized she really didn't know how he spent his spare time.

"Normally I just catch up on all the things I can't do because of our ridiculous schedules but on Sundays I do like to sit back, relax and watch football."

"Ugh," she rolled her eyes. "Of course."

"As a matter of fact my team is playing today at noon. I could order a pizza and you could watch it with me."

"Watch the Giants play? No way."

Elliot looked stunned. "The Jets."

"What?"

"I don't like the Giants I like the Jets."

"The Jets suck."

"Get out," he quipped pointing at the door.

She giggled like a schoolgirl and the sound was music to his ears. Olivia Benson was capable of giggling. He didn't think she could surprise him anymore today but this was a welcome revelation.

"Oh _now_ you want me to leave."

His hand landed on her spine, stroking her smooth golden skin. "No. I don't want you to leave." She closed her eyes really feeling his touch. He caressed her back, his hand gliding lower and lower taking the blanket with him. She moaned despite herself and he felt the goosebumps cover her skin. He stopped just above where the covers bunched at the curve of her ass.

"El," she breathed.

"I know," he explained. "I wasn't going to—"

She lifted her eyebrow to challenge him. "Oh you weren't."

He gave her a guilty smile. "I thought about it but figured you needed a rest."

"Oh I'm the one that needs a rest?" she joked and slapped his arm away from her. He grabbed at her arm to stop her and she rolled over to grab his other hand. They started to tussle and Olivia's giggling just encouraged him more.

"Liv, it would be in your best interest to stop," he chided her. "You are still naked."

"You can't handle it, I get it." She was out of breath and the sheet was starting to slip. "Do you give up?"

He chuckled while she hovered over him holding his hands down. Her naked right breast skimmed against his small patch of chest hair and he could feel himself starting to get aroused again. He had to stop this and soon. "Do you?" she asked again tightening her hold.

He was about to "give in" when his phone started to vibrate on the nightstand next to them. "Saved by the buzz." She looked over at the caller id by instinct and saw the name that flashed on the screen. She instantly let go of his hold. "I'm going to go to the bathroom," she declared cutting him off before he had a chance to say anything. He glanced at the screen right before it went to voicemail and saw the name flashing that ruined the moment.

Lisa.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Olivia used the bathroom and since she didn't have a toothbrush she improvised by spreading some toothpaste on her teeth and washed herself off. She wanted to take a shower but figured she would just go home and soak in her own bathtub instead. She was staring at herself in the mirror and her hair looked like she had been thoroughly fucked. And she had been.

Olivia put the toilet seat down and sat on top of it while she pulled her underwear and jeans back on. She thought about the phone call and little insecurities started to creep in. She thought they must have been pretty close for Lisa to be calling on a Sunday morning even though he said he wasn't interested in her. Maybe her showing up unannounced had interrupted some of their plans. She shook the errant thoughts from her mind. She was being overly sensitive and ridiculous. Plus, it didn't matter. They were just having fun anyway. It was just supposed to be one night.

She sighed and got up to try and tame her hair into a presentable ponytail and that's when she saw them. There were two small hickeys on her neck. She examined her torso and realized she had small marks on her stomach. She then pulled down her jeans to see the imprints of his fingers on her hips. She sat back down and put her head in her hands. It may have been a one-night thing but the physical marks and her feelings were certainly going to last longer. She wanted to blame Casey for getting her into this mess or him for bringing it up when they should have let it go but she knew she had no one to blame but herself. She hadn't intended to spend all hours of the night and into the morning having sex with her partner. She definitely hadn't expected the pillow talk, the banter and to be so enamored with his company that she hadn't thought about one victim, case or anything else all morning.

What she did anticipate was a quick, awkward fuck and they would act like nothing happened the next day. Maybe an occasional joke or two but not this. She hadn't considered herself a delusional person before but now hiding out in his bathroom while he talked to another woman he had been dating she realized she had it all wrong. This was more than she thought it would be.

It was then she heard the soft tentative knocks on the bathroom door. She gathered herself and put her shirt on to answer the door. She checked herself in the mirror again to make sure it didn't look like she was overly upset and practiced her best indifferent face. He knocked again and she finally opened the door.

Elliot leaned against the doorframe with nothing but sweatpants on that hung low on his hips. She let out a heavy sigh. He was trying to cover himself up but for as sexy as he looked with his defined abs and V shaped outline leading to his groin he may as well have been naked.

"Are you done in here?" he asked timidly.

"Yeah sorry you needed to get in here?" She was trying to be nonchalant but she could tell he wasn't buying it.

He shook his head. "No I just wanted to talk to you. That was Lisa on the phone but I suspect by the way you ran to the bathroom you already knew that."

She rolled her eyes and folded her arms in a defensive posture. "Yes I did and I didn't run to the bathroom, I had to pee if you must know."

He also folded his arms and nodded. "So it had nothing to with her calling?"

"Nope," she countered defiantly swaying back and forth.

"You're a shitty liar Benson but either way the reason she was calling—"

Olivia put up her hand to stop him. "No please don't explain yourself. It's none of my business I told you that already."

Elliot sighed. He knew this would be her approach. She was going to be defensive and he was prepared for that. "Actually it is your business."

She tilted her head to the side as if she was confused. "How so? We're just having fun here."

"We are. But we've also had sex three times in as many hours and we didn't use anything, which means we have a certain level of trust between us. For that reason alone you deserve to know what that phone call was about."

Once again his honesty disarmed her and he knew it by the way her eyes widened while he talked. She leaned against the counter, her arms still crossed defiantly and he was determined to break down her walls.

"Lisa was actually calling me back from when I called her the other day to tell her I wouldn't see her again. I didn't want to leave that on voicemail so I just told her to call me back when she got a chance. She was still a little mad that I blew her off for our date I forgot about so she waited a few days to call me back. When she called just now I told her the truth. I enjoyed her company but I'm not interested in her that way and just wanted to be friends."

The tension immediately left Olivia's body and he noticed her relax. "Oh," she said nonchalantly.

He raised his eyebrow and put his hands on his hip playfully. "Oh?"

She smiled despite herself. "Yeah. Oh."

He moved closer to her and her breath hitched. "Just so you know Liv I wasn't lying to you. I haven't been with anyone else except Kathy."

"I know," she said softly. "I know you wouldn't lie to me about something like that." His brutal honesty was the aspect about him that always made her feel safe.

He was so close to her and she started to feel woozy again. His bare chest was eye level with her and she fought the urge to reach out and touch him. His hand stroked her cheek and he placed a sweet kiss on her lips and pulled back. She felt like she was in an alternate universe. This wasn't the man who slammed his fists against lockers and roughed up perps. The contrast between the two sides of Elliot was inebriating. She leaned up and kissed him again. It was like the kiss they shared in the bed earlier that morning. Slow, gentle and deliberate. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in closer and he grasped her hips. He kept his lower half away from hers not wanting her to feel the stirrings of the erection that was starting. He wanted to be inside her again. He didn't think that he would ever be this close to her and he not want her.

When they pulled apart, she looked up at him with hooded eyes. "Hmm I see you found my toothpaste."

She giggled. "Yeah and maybe you should find it too."

"Ohhhhhh," he laughed reaching for the tube and his toothbrush. "Good one Benson. Although I didn't hear you complaining when you pulled me in that second time."

She didn't have a snippy comeback and blushed in response. She moved out of the way allowing him to get closer to the sink.

"Well allow me to brush my teeth and then I will go and make you some coffee and breakfast. Unless you want to go out to brunch." He turned on the water and began to brush his teeth and she stood watching him thinking how familiar it was that she was in his bathroom watching him do the simplest task.

"I don't really feel like going out. I'd rather stay here," she admitted. He raised his eyebrow and gazed at her through the mirror.

"That's not why jackass," she joked. "I just don't feel like being social."

He rinsed out his mouth and dabbed his face with the towel. "If you say so." He maneuvered past her in the doorway and gave her a quick kiss. "Is that better?"

She licked the taste of mint off her lips. "Much. But honestly all the kisses were just fine."

He flashed her a wry grin. "Good to know."

Elliot made her eggs and bacon and they drank coffee while he told her all about the camping trip. They were on his sofa that was smaller than hers so they ended up laying much closer to each other. The conversation flowed easily and she loved the way his face lit up when he talked about his children. She tried to act like she didn't notice when he started to rub her feet at some point while they talked and she rested her head against his leg.

"Oh shit. It's almost 12:30. You are trying to make me miss the game on purpose aren't you?" He jumped up from the sofa grabbing the remote and turning on the TV. "Dammit we are already down a touchdown."

"Man how about those Jets. Only halfway through the first quarter and they've already been scored on."

He turned to face her with a serious look on his face. "Liv. There are plenty of things that I will tolerate. Talking about the Jets isn't one of them. You are getting dangerously close to strike three."

"Maybe I'm curious to see what the consequences are," she countered seductively.

His dick twitched in his pants. He didn't think they could ever be just friends. Now that he knew what she felt like it was going to be hard to keep his hands off her.

"Oh I think you know what they are," he replied.

"Nope I don't."

"Well I'll give you a hint. You've already endured those consequences three times. You aiming for a fourth?" He looked her up and down while he talked and her nipples instantly hardened. _Shit._ She scolded herself.

Olivia felt the desire coarse through her veins and she needed to get herself under control quickly. "Actually I need to go take a shower."

Elliot stood up too. "Great I was just thinking the same thing."

She looked at him like he was crazy. "You must be joking."

"What?" he feigned innocence.

"We are not taking a shower together Elliot," she insisted putting her hand on his chest to stop him. Immediately she knew that was the wrong move.

"Why not?"

She sighed and smiled at him. "I'm either showering alone or I'm going home. Your choice."

"Fine," he acquiesced and sat back down. "But if you need someone to wash your back I'm here."

Olivia scoffed. "Ill keep that in mind. Do you have another t-shirt or shorts I can wear?"

"Nope. Fresh out," he smirked.

She put her hands on her hips. "Fine, since you insist on being no help I will just find something myself." He put his feet up on the coffee table and continued to watch the game. He would help Olivia do a lot of things but getting dressed when she could so easily be naked wasn't one of them. She rummaged through the drawers and found his NYPD shirt that he worked out in and some sweatpants with a drawstring that she would be able to tighten to fit her waist. In the shower her mind started to wander while she washed away the remnants of their activities last night and early this morning. She almost hated to rid herself of his smell on her skin. She couldn't deny that she was relieved to hear that Lisa was really out of the picture and that there didn't seem to be any other women in his life. At least none that he was having sex with.

Olivia deeply exhaled. It was time for her to really come to terms with everything. She had sex with Elliot.

Sex.

Her partner.

Her friend.

The person she sat across from for the past seven years. The only man that she trusted completely with her life. The man who's soon to be ex-wife she had conversations with and who she was sure had always suspected that there was something going on between them. _Shit._ She dropped the soap and bent down to pick it up and sat on the edge of the tub letting her mind run through the motions. If they took this further then Kathy would have to know and she would swear they had been sleeping together through their entire partnership. Her hands roamed her body as images of their endeavors assaulted her reflections. She stood back up letting the warm water soothe her body.

The first quarter had just ended and Elliot walked to the kitchen to get a beer. He heard the shower running and wished he were in there with her. The conversation they had about Lisa went better than he thought. He thought for sure when he saw her retreat to the bathroom that she was getting dressed to leave. But she didn't. She was still there spending time with him and he wanted her to stay as long as possible. He pulled the menu from the take out drawer and ordered pizza for them to eat while watching the rest of the game.

"Hey Liv," he knocked on the bathroom door. "I ordered pizza it should be here soon."

"Ok," she yelled back. He was about to walk back into the living room when she called out to him again. "El can you come wash my back?"

He stilled staring at the door. He felt himself start to harden again thinking about seeing her naked form in the shower. She was clear that she didn't want to have sex again but all of their playing was starting to wear him down.

"El?" she asked again and he could hear the flirtatious edge in her voice.

He opened the door slowly and thanked God that his shower curtain mixed with the steam in the room was hiding her nude silhouette. He approached carefully and methodically and closed his eyes when she opened the curtain.

He heard her laughing and started laughing as well. "Are you serious right now?"

"Just hand me the towel, turn around and back up until the towel," he instructed her. This way he wouldn't be more tempted than he already was.

"This is silly," she declared. "Open your eyes and wash my back."

"That's what I'm trying to do Liv." He was fumbling around like a blind person trying to feel where she was and his hand eventually found her back. He washed it thoroughly listening to her snicker under her breath. "I'm glad you find this funny. There. All done."

He closed the curtain back and opened his eyes scrubbing his hands down his face.

"Now was that so hard?" she asked washing off her back.

He looked down at the bulge in his pants. "Actually yeah it was."

He was walking towards the bathroom door to leave when he heard the water turn off and the shower curtain open.

"Turn around Elliot." Her rich soothing voice bounced off the walls and he closed his eyes briefly.

Olivia stepped out of the shower and dried herself off a little before dropping the towel back on the floor. "Turn around."

Her heart was racing and she hadn't planned on this again but nothing about anything that happened over the past 12 hours was according to plan and she was tired of thinking. She just wanted to feel. She wanted to feel him. She hadn't left his apartment yet so she rationalized that it still counted as one night. Whatever she needed to tell herself to get what she wanted. What she wanted was Elliot.

He turned around slowly and his breath caught in his throat when he saw her standing before him. Her skin was still damp and the water glistened on her body. Her hair was wet and slicked back and her dark nipples were peaked. His eyes traveled down to the apex of her thighs and he licked his lips unconsciously.

"This is strike three," he rasped moving closer to her.

Olivia smiled seductively. "I know."

His lips crashed down on hers and the sheer force almost knocked her off balance. "I'm ready to accept the consequences."

Their kisses were frantic and he hauled her body against his with one hand fisting her hair and the other squeezing her ass. She felt his bulge against her core and broke the kiss for a second to pull his sweatpants down. She started to rub his length but he stopped her. He was already on the edge holding her gloriously naked body. He sat down on the toilet seat and quickly pulled her to stand over him. His erection was bobbing against his abdomen and Olivia's legs were on both sides of his. While standing her breasts were almost eye level.

Elliot kissed her flat stomach and the underside of her breast while he slipped two fingers into her core. He groaned feeling how slick she was. "Shit Baby. You are so ready." She threw her head back and balanced one hand on the counter and the other on his head as his fingers stroked her velvet walls.

"Mhmmm El," she moaned when his tongue flicked her nipple. He leaned up to take her right breast fully in his mouth. "Fuck," she cursed and she could the familiar building in her lower belly. It was too soon. Elliot's touch was so intense that she couldn't help herself. "I need you."

He put his hands on her hips and guided her down onto his length. She bit her bottom lip as she accepted every blessed inch of him. The toilet seat had no give like the mattress and he was deeper than he was before. His tip brushed against her cervix and the feeling was almost too much to endure.

"Ok?" he breathed.

"Yeah."

She began to move slowly keeping her eyes fixed on him. His piercing blue eyes were low and dark and his breathing was shallow. She was trying her best to maintain eye contact with him but every stroke of his dick against her clit made her eyes close involuntarily. They both breathed trying to maintain control and drag this out for as long as they could. Any unexpected move was going to make one of them explode triggering the other one's orgasm. He kneaded and squeezed her breasts and she leaned back placing her hand on his thighs. She moved her body in circles on top of him and he moaned out loud.

"Ohhh, fuck," she gritted. "Unhhh."

There are certain things that Olivia couldn't get enough of and were her guilty pleasures like Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, trashy gossip magazines and seedy medical dramas. Elliot Stabler's dick was on its way to moving to the top of that list.

It was becoming increasingly difficult for Elliot to stop his orgasm from building. His head lulled down and he could see himself inside her and the glistening from her juices on his impressive length. He pulled her closer and her arms encircled his neck. They were embracing. It was a simple but sweet and powerful gesture in this position and they both hurled toward the inevitable.

His head was spinning. There was so much he wanted to say, that he had to say. He wanted her to know and timing was everything. "I don't want anyone else Liv," he whispered in her ear. She moaned and his movements became frenzied. "No one else."

His words were her undoing. She came hard. Harder than she ever had in her life. She thought she would pass out from the sheer force. He held her on his length and emptied himself into her. Their chests were heaving and he placed a single adoring kiss to her shoulder blade. He rested his head on her shoulder and she rested her head on top of his. Despite sitting on a toilet seat and watching his toiletries that were sitting on the back lid hit the floor, it was the most intimate sexual encounter she had in her life. His words hit her square in the chest and she thought her heart would explode. She's not one to take chances especially when it comes to matters of the heart but she hadn't been herself lately and the payoff had been handsome. So she did something else that was completely out of character. She became vulnerable. She stroked his back and slightly tilted her head so her lips brushed against his ear.

"I don't want anyone else either."

Author's Note: BYE LISA..we hardly knew ye.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Olivia sat in her sedan outside of the precinct watching her colleagues go in and out of the building. She nursed the cup of coffee she brought from home. It was her second cup and she hadn't even begun her shift. She had been sitting in the car for almost thirty minutes nervous about going inside and facing her partner for the first time in the 36 hours since she left his apartment.

She glanced at her watch again and tried to still her bouncing leg that wouldn't stop moving out of nervousness. Elliot had gone back to work yesterday and she had a full day at her apartment to go through every emotion possible at changing the one relationship in her life that meant more to her anything. She felt anxious about seeing him again in a professional setting and how they would interact. She felt worried that other people would find out and they would be split up as partners. She felt sad that no matter what happened they wouldn't be able to go back to how it was before they crossed the line. One thing she didn't feel however, was regret.

Olivia squeezed her hand against her forehead, took a deep breath and got out of the car discarding her coffee cup. As she walked to the building her lips lifted slightly at the thought of how they spent their last moments in his apartment together cuddled up watching the football game. It didn't take her long to realize that neither of them were really paying attention and stealing glances at one another as opposed to the television. She finally left in the early evening when he was on his way to bring Kathleen some soup and check on her.

The next day while he was at work he sent her text messages here and there making small talk but neither one of them discussed their confession to one another.

 _I don't want anyone else._

While getting in the elevator, she saw another officer and thought for a second that it was Elliot and her heart started to race immediately. She needed to get herself together before everyone was able to tell that there was something different about them. She had resisted his invitation to come by her apartment after work yesterday even though every part of her was on fire to feel his body against hers again. She decided they needed to pump the brakes and give each other a little space because everything between them had turned intense so fast. He reluctantly agreed and decided to trade racy texts with her instead. She thought she had lost her mind when she found herself giggling like a schoolgirl at his messages and waiting with baited breath for his responses.

It was a side of both of them that they hardly ever indulged and she realized she had smiled and laughed more in the past week entertaining whatever it was going on with them than she had in a very long time. When the elevator dinged announcing her arrival to her floor she looked around cautiously to see if he was there yet. She didn't see any signs of him and she hadn't heard from him that morning. She sat at her desk, took a deep breath and willed her mind to focus. She started to go through her case files and saw she had an email regarding the Recinos case. Suddenly her concentration was back full speed. She didn't know whether or not to feel guilty that reflections of Maria had dissolved thanks to her dalliance with Elliot but seeing the forensics report from the scene started to bring those memories back and flood her with reality. She read through the evidence found in the basement and in the electronics store.

"Good Morning," Elliot greeted her and she jumped unaware of his presence. He put his hand on her shoulder to calm her. "I'm sorry. Didn't mean to scare you."

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and refocused. "Its fine, I-I was just looking over this report."

He sat the coffee he brought her on her desk and she turned around to face him. He had a smirk on his face, his lip slightly upturned and a twinkle in his blue eyes like he knew a secret that no one else knew. She took a sip of the coffee to hide the blush and smile on her face worried that people around them could sense something was different.

"It's ok Olivia," he assured her and looked around before getting closer to her ear. "No one knows that you say my name when you come." She choked on her coffee and he patted her back in amusement.

"You're such a jerk," she countered. She walked to the coffee station to get a napkin and to create some distance. Elliot's proximity took on a new meaning now than it did before and she felt her skin start to tingle at the sound of his voice.

Elliot looked around again to see where Munch, Fin and Cragen were. They were all not paying attention and doing their own thing so he decided to approach her. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

He was talking in _that_ voice. The voice that coaxed her over the edge when he drove inside of her. The same voice that haunted her dreams since she left his apartment Saturday. He was standing right behind her just close enough for her to feel the warmth of his body but far enough where no one would be suspicious.

"Yeah just grabbing some napkins." She was going for nonchalant but it was evident how much she was affected.

"Oh," he took a step closer his chest slightly grazing her back and his breath on her throat. "Ok just checking."

Olivia peeked around nervously. "El, you have to stop." She was beginning to panic. He felt good against her but they couldn't do this at work. She was surprised to see him taking this kind of risk. "We talked about this," she breathed.

"I know," he apologized and backed up slightly. "I'm sorry I just couldn't help myself. You smell so good."

She nervously fidgeted with the sugar pouring it in her coffee cup and stirring it around. Her chest was starting to heave and she felt herself getting aroused.

"Well try harder okay," she pivoted out of his reach and back towards her desk.

She sat back down in her chair running her hand along her neck willing the goosebumps to go away. If they didn't get this under control their coworkers were going to find out. She didn't know where all of this with Elliot was going and didn't want to alarm anyone unnecessarily.

"Sorry," he mouthed to her again and sat back down at his desk. They worked silently on their paperwork and conversed with Munch and Fin. In the middle of the conversation, she saw Elliot playing with a pen near his mouth. The cap of the pen was going in and out of his soft lips and she saw the slightest hint of his tongue. Elliot's dick was magical but his tongue was a worthy runner up. Her mind drifted to when he said he wanted to taste her and how she had come for him within a minute of his tongue licking along her slit. He twisted his tongue inside of her and mercilessly sucked her—

"Liv? Earth to Liv," Fin said waving his hand to get her attention. Elliot had a shit-eating grin on his face and she shook her head to snap back into the moment.

"Oh yeah. What did you say?"

"I asked if you heard from Maria's social worker."

"Oh yeah I did. She emailed me this morning. I'll probably go visit her later," she answered.

"Good for you." Fin got up to fix himself a cup of coffee and even though she knew she would regret it she peeked at Elliot again. Anyone that wasn't really paying attention would think he was looking at her shirt or shoulder, but she knew he was staring at her breasts. She watched him watch her and her eyes fixated on his hands. Those hands that held her ass pressed against him while he thrust into her and eventually spill—

"I've got to go to the file room," Olivia declared standing up suddenly from her chair cutting off her errant conscious.

Munch glanced over the top of his glasses and eyed her speculatively. "Thanks for the announcement Olivia. I'm actually about to go to the bathroom if anyone cares."

She took another deep breath, picked up a random file on her desk and walked briskly to the file room. She went in and closed the door leaning against it to get her head together. She wasn't this person. She was acting like a horny teenager and not a dedicated detective. This was exactly what she had feared would happen that somehow they would become less focused on their jobs. She was deep in thought when she heard the doorknob behind her rattle. She knew it was him.

"Elliot, no get out of here," she hissed as he gently pushed past her into the room.

"No."

The file room thankfully was at the end of the hall where no one could see unless they were walking down there specifically to go into that room. She noticed the blinds were drawn and she promptly closed her eyes. She felt his hand brush her hair behind her ear and touch her shoulders. She breathed in trying to will her body not to respond but it was too late. Her nipples started to strain against her bra and she heard his breath in her ear.

"I know we shouldn't be doing this here," he whispered placing a small kiss on her shoulder.

She leaned into him. "Then why are you doing this?"

He kissed her cheek and his left hand traveled down her back. "I can't help myself Liv." His lips found hers and she moaned into the kiss keeping her hands by her side.

He pulled back observing her trying to determine if he had gone too far. "You can't tell me you don't feel it too."

Her arms left her side and rested on his bicep. There was no use in denying it. "I wish I could push you down on the desk right now." Her lips crashed over his and he backed her up into the door. She was confused, excited and adrenaline was pumping through her veins. Elliot's hands were on her breasts squeezing them and his tongue massaged hers. He cupped her intimately through her pants and she felt the liquid pool between her legs. She could feel his bulge against her thigh and she lost it. She started to stroke him and he leaned his forehead against hers breathing heavily.

"We gotta stop," he rasped. Olivia ignored him and reached for his belt buckle. "Liv no." He put his hands over hers and her gaze was a mix of a confusion and arousal. "If we don't stop now I'm going to take you against this door and our colleagues are just a few feet away."

She smiled her understanding. They had gotten carried away and she was glad that he was able to be the voice of reason.

"Then why did you start it you big tease?" she joked.

"I just needed to touch you," he responded seriously. "If you let me come over to your place tonight after work I'll finish it," he kissed her again. "I promise."

She fixed her clothes and hair. "I have no doubt you would," she muttered noncommittally.

He fixed his clothes and got himself together. "So can I come over later?"

Olivia put her index finger to her chin as if she was pondering the question. "I suppose I could go for some company."

He smiled at her and tried to fix himself in his pants. "I guess you should go out there first while I get this under control," he suggested pointing to his hard on.

She returned his smile and walked back to her desk a bit more jovial than she realized. She sat down and put the file back on her desk. She thought she was in the clear until she saw who was sitting at Fin's desk.

"Were you whistling Benson?" Casey asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"Umm," she was starting to panic again. If Casey suspected anything she was screwed. "I slept good last night." It was the first thing that came to mind. "What are you doing here?" She tried to change the subject hoping Casey would fall for it.

"I came to talk to you about the Fleming case. We are obviously going to need you to testify."

Olivia squirmed in her chair as Casey approached. "Sure no problem."

Casey observed her closely and could tell something was off. "Where did you just come from?"

"Just down the hall," she half lied.

Munch walked back towards his desk with his coffee and a bagel in hand. "Did you find everything you needed in the file room?" he directed towards Olivia.

"Yep."

Elliot strided back toward his desk with one hand in his pocket and a file in his hand. "Good Morning Casey," he greeted her in a more chipper tone than usual. She looked back and forth between him and Olivia also taking in his demeanor.

"Good Morning Elliot. Everyone's in a good mood this morning I see," she noticed.

"Yeah what can I say?" he shot back. "The file room just brings out the best in me."

Casey jerked her head towards Olivia and grinned at her. "I bet it does."

She was about to say something when Cragen barreled out of his office. "Got a call at a school, assault and possible rape. Who's going to take it?"

Olivia needed to get away from their ADA and soon. "We'll go," she volunteered.

Casey smiled knowingly.

"Take Fin with you," Cragen ordered.

She snatched her coat and tried to rush past Casey who was sitting on the corner of her desk. Casey grabbed her by the elbow whispering low. "You do know that I will be right here when you get back."

"Unfortunately I do."

They headed out and Elliot watched their interaction figuring that something was up but decided to stay out of it. During the ride over, they acted normal because Fin was in the back seat. The mood changed completely when they made it to the school and Elliot realized the perp was the son of his former partner Pete Breslin. Back at the station, he worked in overdrive trying to get Pamela Sawyer not to press charges. They quickly found themselves back in partner mode arguing over the case.

"Who are you kidding? You're trying to make this go away," she yelled at him. She was furious that he was trying to sweep the assault of a teenage girl under the rug but she saw how absolutely torn he was. She stormed out of Cragen's office to see if she could convince Pamela to change her mind and press charges. She watched from afar while Elliot argued with his former partner in the hall and encouraged Huang to talk to Luke Breslin. When she went to talk to Casey this time the conversation about Elliot was tossed to the side in favor of the matter at hand.

"Has she agreed to press charges?"

Olivia shook her head in disgust. "No, she's afraid. Her parents are talking to her now."

Their conversation was interrupted by Cragen's yelling in his office.

"What's going on in there?" Casey asked.

She didn't know for sure but based on Elliot's behavior tonight she had a suspicion. Another minute passed and he came charging out of the office past her and Casey and grabbed his coat.

"El is everything ok?" she asked tentatively.

He didn't answer and stormed towards the elevators.

"Olivia you will work with Fin for the rest of this case," Cragen instructed her. "Elliot is on suspension until further notice."

She nodded her head and didn't bother to try and question it. "Ok." She knew Elliot was out of line but hoped it wouldn't come to a suspension. Cragen walked off and her and Casey exchanged a knowing look. She immediately felt a sense of dread in the pit of her stomach. The brooding, moody Elliot from just a few days ago was back and she didn't know how she fit into the equation.

She texted him that night to see if he was ok and he simply responded 'yes'. He was supposed to come to her place that night but she didn't even bring it up considering the circumstances. She didn't hear from him at all the next day when she went to talk to Pamela and continued to work the case. After working with Huang she determined that Luke actually was on steroids and Elliot was right. She thought about calling him to tell him the news but figured he wouldn't answer so she took a chance and went to his place.

He opened the door and stared at her impassively. "Are you going to invite me in?"

"I don't want to talk about it though," he answered turning his back on her and walking to his living room.

"Now you sound like Pamela Sawyer and that's not why I'm here."

"Then why are you here?"

His curt tone disarmed her for a moment but she swiftly recovered.

"To apologize. You were right about Luke Breslin. He's been juicing up on steroids for the past six months. Pamela says it's because of the pressure his dad has been putting on him."

Elliot looked shocked and the wall he had up when she first arrived started to fade a bit. "Does his father know about the drugs?"

"No and Luke begged us not to tell him."

"Someone's got to."

"Don't do it. Calling Breslin is only going to make it worse," she begged him. When he didn't respond or make it seem like he wanted her company she walked towards the door. "He's going to court tomorrow. Arraignment's first thing in the morning." She waited another moment and then let herself out. She fought back the tears that threatened her eyelids and hurried down to her car. It was like the other night hadn't even happened. Just like the job had brought them together that one night when she needed the comfort of his touch, it could just as easily tear them apart.

Olivia sat in the car, her mind racing. She pulled out her phone and saw she had a missed call from Charles. She still hadn't talked to him since their date was cancelled and for a fleeting moment she thought about calling him back and asking him if he could meet her for a drink. She decided against it and called someone else instead.

XXXXXX

"I have to admit Benson I thought you were going to avoid me for awhile," Casey teased. She nursed the glass of Bourbon in front of her taking small sips figuring she needed to be sober to hear what Olivia had to say. She didn't usually call her up to go out for drinks, Casey mostly initiated so she knew it had to be something serious. She didn't want to get tipsy and not be able to give her friend sound advice.

"Trust me I planned to," Olivia admitted. She wasn't following Casey's example. She threw back her bourbon and played with the rim of the empty glass while she prepared herself to talk.

Casey watched her closely. "Oooook. Ready when you are."

Olivia motioned towards the bartender for another drink. Once it was in front of her she took a deep breath and spoke up. "I slept with Elliot."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

 _"_ _I slept with Elliot."_

Olivia was still focused on her empty glass waiting for the animated reaction from Casey that she was sure would happen. When she didn't hear anything she turned to face her and saw that Casey was actually stunned. "Did you hear me?"

Casey cleared her throat and finished off the rest of the liquor in her glass. "Hey can we get two more down here," she told the bartender. "Sorry my goal was to stay sober for you but I feel I may need to loosen up for this conversation."

Olivia scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Oh great. I remember the last conversation we had when you were loosened up."

Casey lifted her eyebrow. "So you are going to try to blame this on me? Come on. I thought you guys would just talk about it I never thought you would have the balls to actually do anything."

Olivia continued to drink and tapped her fingers anxiously along the bar. Casey watched her for a few moments before finally speaking up. "Soooo are you going to actually tell me what happened or are we just going to sit here staring at each other?"

She exhaled and tried to figure out how much to tell her friend. She was already starting to feel the alcohol since she hadn't eaten much today plus she needed some encouragement and advice. She squared her shoulders, took a deep breath and told her about going to his house after leaving the Recinos case.

"Ok so you slept together," Casey shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. "You said it was good so what's the problem? Did he kick you out or want you to leave or something?"

Olivia chuckled bitterly. "No quite the opposite actually. I got ready to leave in the middle of the night and he told me to stay until the morning."

"Now that sounds more like the Elliot I know. I couldn't see him just letting you leave that late."

Her leg was bouncing nervously and Casey was on the edge of her seat waiting for her to continue. "Well let me help you out since you are having issues getting on with the story. You woke up the next morning and…."

Olivia smirked and titled her head to the side a little and tried to speak lowly. "Well actually umm when I got back in the bed we didn't go back to sleep."

"YOU FUCKED HIM AGAIN?!" Casey squealed and she hurried and shushed her.

"Would you keep your damn voice down?" she scolded her.

Olivia grabbed her hand and ushered her away from the bar where the other patrons were looking on. They found a small booth in the back with not as many people around and settled in. Casey looked like a kid jumping up and down on Christmas morning.

"Start talking and start talking now. Who initiated it?"

Olivia sighed. "I don't know. I got back in the bed and the next thing I know he was back on top of me and he sa—," she stopped herself. "It just happened again."

Casey swallowed the rest of her drink and waved her finger at her. "Oh no. You cut yourself off. He said what?"

"Casey—"

"What did he say Liv?"

She closed her eyes and put her hands over her face. "I must be at rock bottom because I can't even believe I'm telling you this," she mumbled. "Let's just say it went _down_ after that."

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT. YESSSS," she shrieked pumping her fist in the air and this time Olivia didn't even bother to tell her to keep it down since they were further away from everybody.

"I'm going to need another drink for this," she announced. "Hold that thought and don't you move a muscle. I mean it."

Olivia checked her phone again to see if she had any messages from Elliot and there was nothing. There was another text from Charles and she replied to him telling him that she was still busy. She felt guilty because she knew she needed to hurry up and put the final nail in that coffin. Even if nothing worked out with her and Elliot, she wasn't interested in anyone else right now.

 _I don't want anyone else either._

She rubbed her forehead at the recollection of her confession to him. How could everything have turned around in such a short amount of time?

Casey came barreling back to the table with drinks for both of them. "Ok ok keep going. So umm things went _down_ and you had sex again…" Olivia nodded her head following along. "So you woke up the next morning and—"

Olivia shot her another guilty look before taking a large swig of her drink. "Well not exactly."

"What do you mean?"

"Maria was still on my mind a lot and I ended up having a nightmare when I fell asleep.."

Casey's face turned serious. "Liv I'm sorry." She knew how much these kinds of cases involving children always weighed on Olivia more than anything.

"Yeah, I woke up and he was right there and helped me calm down."

Casey watched her closely trying to figure out where she was going with her statement.

"So I just umm. I kissed him and then I…" she cleared her throat. "I just needed to feel something so I somehow ended up-"

Casey grabbed her chest with one hand and grasped the table with the other. "Oh my god! Oh my god! Again?! Shit! Were you guys going for some kind of a record?"

Olivia buried her head in her hands at her friend's over dramatic response. Hearing it out loud it did seem like a lot but in the moment it didn't seem like enough.

"Just give me a minute," Casey squealed trying to pull herself together and drinking another sip of bourbon. "I should've gotten some water too. The rate this story is going I'm going to be too drunk to hear the rest. Hey can we get some water over here?" she yelled to the only waitress on duty.

"Ok ok. I'm fine now," she claimed clutching the collar of her shirt.

Olivia smirked at her in response. "Are you sure?"

"Yep. Ok so I'm going to try this again. You woke up the next morning right…" she prodded shaking her head for Olivia to finally agree that it was the end of the sex.

Olivia couldn't help but laugh at her. For all of her theatrics, the girl talk was just what she needed right now.

"Yes," she nodded back at her. "I woke up the next morning."

"Ok then what?"

"We just—talked," and she couldn't hide the blush that flooded her cheeks. It was the nicest time she had in a long time just talking about nothing with him in his bed naked.

"You talked…umm ok..well that sounds nice. Uninteresting but nice."

Olivia laughed again and began to really relax. "Yes it was nice until Lisa called," she added bitterly.

"Oh god no. In the morning? Did he answer?" Casey scoffed.

"He did," she explained. "And I got up and ran to the bathroom. I didn't want to hear it."

Casey suddenly felt a sense of dread on where the conversation was going. She knew Olivia and any sign of strife she would run for cover especially since it involved Elliot.

"Do I even want to hear what happens next?"

"To make a long story short. He told me that he broke it off with her, we hung out for a little bit, we had sex again in his bathroom, he told me he didn't want anyone else and I told him I didn't want anyone else either," she declared talking quickly and took a sip of her drink.

Casey stared at her wide-eyed and completely silent.

"Say something. I'm kind of freaking out here," she urged her.

"Olivia," she began earnestly. "What you've accomplished in the Special Victims Unit has always been admirable and I respect you for it. However, the fact that you have managed to fuck your partner senseless four times and have him declaring his undying love for you…I don't think I've ever been more proud." She grinned and grabbed her hand causing them both to burst out in laughter.

"Would you be serious for once?" Olivia chided her.

"Oh I am dead serious."

She checked her phone again and Casey saw the disappointment on her face when there were no alerts.

"So let me guess. This case came between you two?"

Olivia shook her head finishing off the last of her drink and reaching for the water the waitress had just brought over. She needed to clear her head. "Well that's the job. It giveth and it taketh away."

Casey continued to drink her water and try to sober up so she could offer the best advice she could.

"Leave it to the two of you to turn a playful conversation about banging one night into a profession of love," she teased.

Olivia was already shaking her head protesting. "Oh no. No one said the L word."

"Get real Benson. You didn't have to. _I don't want anyone else_ ," she said repeating her and Elliot's words to each other. "What do you think that means?"

Olivia continued to stay quiet. "You can sit here and try to play naïve all you want but you're not nearly as aloof as you pretend to be. And the fact that you rocked your partner's world for hours just proves that."

"Good grief are you ever going to stop giving me a hard time about that?"

"Probably not but seriously. I saw how he was that morning when you two were clearly in the file room together and he—wait did something happen in the file room?" she asked suddenly remembering Olivia's body language when she walked back to her desk.

She held up her hand to stop her from continuing. "It's not what you think. We just kissed and he was supposed to come over and well..you know how that went."

Casey sighed and touched her hand to comfort her and Olivia gave her a small smile. "You have to talk to him Liv."

"Oh no," Olivia replied. "You know how Elliot is when he gets like this. We will just see what happens."

"You've come this far. I know that admitting how you feel about him was a huge step. Don't back off now," she urged.

She shrugged her shoulders in frustration. "What can I do?"

Casey lifted her eyebrow and gave her a suggestive look. Olivia smiled in response. "We've done enough of that," she said blowing her off.

"Seriously. You need to talk to him. Wait until all this blows over and really put your cards on the table. Ok?"

She huffed and looked at her phone again. "Ok I will. It's getting late let's get out of here."

"Wait a second," Casey put her hand on hers to stop her from getting up. "We still have one more thing to discuss."

"What's that?"

"Just how good was it?"

XXXXX

As if it was possible, the next day was much worse. Elliot showed up to the arraignment but ended up getting into a bloody fight with Pete Breslin right after in the bathroom. Olivia tried to comfort him but he walked past her and she couldn't reach him the rest of the day. She had no idea he went to see Rebecca Hendrix and ended up pouring out his thoughts on his failed marriage and his abusive father. She continued to investigate the case and everything escalated when Luke shot his father and threatened to kill himself. Elliot was cleared and Olivia was the one to get him from the hospital after his suspension had been lifted to talk Luke down from taking his own life. She sensed a shift in him that day and she wasn't sure why.

It was early evening when she was working on her paperwork and Elliot came into the squadroom.

"Hey what are you doing here?" she asked surprised to see him.

He sat at his desk and turned on his laptop. "I figured I'm a little behind on paperwork and I may as well catch up on it." He gave her a small smile and leaned in to make sure no one heard. "And I figured you would be here."

She blushed and looked down trying to steady herself. She wasn't used to feeling so disarmed around someone and being at work with everyone around made her extra cautious.

"I'm sorry about the last few days," he apologized sincerely. "The case just got crazy."

"I know." She gave him a tight smile and started back on her paperwork. Fin and Munch sat at their desks getting ready to wrap up for the day when Cragen came out of his office and joined them to get details on their case.

"Hey Liv did you ever reschedule that date?" Cragen asked out of the blue. Her and Elliot's heads shot up immediately.

"What?"

"That date from last week. Did you reschedule it?"

Elliot stiffened and she could feel the tension begin to reappear within him. She never told him about the date she was supposed to go on that night.

"Umm no I didn't. Why?" she feigned indifference.

He looked at the hallway. "Because he's here right now."

They all followed his line of sight and saw Charles looking around trying to find which way he was supposed to go.

"Shit," she cursed under her breath and bolted from her chair to go and meet him.

"Charles what are you doing here?" she asked sounding more annoyed than she meant to. She could feel Elliot's eyes burning a hole in her back.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to just show up here but when I hadn't really heard from you I was worried. I know how much you work so I figured I'd find you here," he explained looking over her shoulder and seeing all of Olivia's co-workers staring back at him.

"Yeah look I'm sorry I didn't call you back it's just that things are always crazy around here."

She tucked her hair behind her ear nervously and fidgeted with her hands. This was an uncomfortable conversation she knew she had to have but she didn't plan on having it a few feet away from her coworkers and new lover.

"Charles I-I'm sorry. This isn't going to work," she apologized. "You really seem like a nice guy but-"

He held up his hand to stop her. "You don't need to finish. When you called me I thought you were interested but I guess not. Did I do something to—"

"No no not at all," she tried to assure him. "Things have just taken a turn and look I'm sorry. I really am." She patted his on the shoulder and gave him an apologetic look. "Take care of yourself."

She walked back to the squad room and immediately noticed that Elliot's chair was empty.

"Man that was cold Liv," Fin commented. "Poor guy looks like someone ran over his dog."

She didn't pay attention to his comment instead was scanning the room to see where Elliot was.

"He's upstairs in the locker room," Munch answered.

"Thanks," she headed upstairs while Fin and Munch walked out with Cragen close behind. "Good night see you all tomorrow."

She took the steps two at a time both apprehensive and eager to see him. She was all too familiar with Elliot's mood swings and was hoping this wouldn't end up being another argument. She opened the door and could hear him on the next aisle rummaging through his locker.

"El?"

"Yeah I'm over here." His tone was indifferent and she couldn't get a read on whether or not he was upset. When she rounded the corner and saw him, his shirt was off and he was pulling out clothes to change. He turned to face her and folded his arms as if he was waiting on an explanation. Unlike the facade she put on at his apartment when Lisa called, Elliot didn't even bother. He wanted to know what was going on.

Olivia sighed and was at least thankful that he wasn't yelling at her. She sat on the bench near where he was standing and he sat beside her.

"Charles and I were supposed to go out the night I caught the Recinos case."

"Mhmm. And?" he nudged her.

"And we were supposed to reschedule but we never did," she expounded.

"Why not?" he asked inching closer to her.

"Because I ended up at my partner's house instead and after that I saw no need to reschedule." He tried to hide his smirk but she could see his lip slightly upturn.

"So the two of you never-"

She scooted closer to him and her leg touched his. "No we didn't. That was going to be our first date. I have been dodging his calls because I've been a little…..," she rubbed her hand across the tattoo on his bicep, "distracted."

"I'm a distraction?" he asked trying to sound bothered but she could tell he wasn't.

She stood up in front of him and dropped her voice. "Yes you are. A great distraction." She eased her legs in between his and his arms encircled her waist. Her breath hitched feeling his warmth beside her again and she felt like they were back in his apartment. She expected him to reach for her shirt or cup her ass but instead he laid his head against her stomach and hugged her body against him. The gesture took her off guard and she put one hand on his back while the other caressed his cropped hair.

"I meant what I said El," she whispered and kissed him on the forehead. "I don't want anyone else."

Olivia felt his hot breath on her waist and he squeezed her tighter to him. They held each other for what felt like minutes until he stood up and his forehead was touching hers. She didn't know how to describe this feeling. It was something that overwhelmed her in the best possible way. She pulled his bottom lip between hers gently nipping him and his hands cupped her cheek. He moaned and she kissed him desperately, frantically. He squeezed her breasts and pulled her flush with his body. She clawed at his back trying to close any centimeter of space that existed between them.

She needed to feel him and be certain that what happened the other night wasn't a fluke. That he still cared for her as much as she cared for him. She needed to feel him all over her and suddenly it didn't matter that they were in the middle of an empty precinct.

"I missed you," he whispered in between kisses.

"I missed you too."

She felt his fingers at the hem of her shirt and began to tug. "El no we can't do this here. Your words not mine," she teased reminding him of his words to her in the file room.

"That was only a few feet away from everyone else," he countered placing kisses on her shoulder and stroking her skin underneath her shirt. She felt her body giving in and the liquid pooling between her legs.

"We can't do this here," she repeated weakly.

He stepped back and put his hand in hers. "You're right we can't. I was just about to take a shower anyway."

She opened her mouth to protest and he silenced her by crashing his lips to hers. This wasn't like either of them. They were never reckless. They were always the opposite. They did what they were supposed to do and maintained such tight boundaries. They got in trouble every now and then for bending the rules but it was always for the greater good of a case. For once they were being selfish and thinking about nothing but satisfying this raw unfiltered need they had to be together.

Elliot led her to the last shower stall at the end of the narrow hall, which also happened to be the largest one. He opened the curtain and they stepped in. He started to undress her but she stopped his hand when it landed on her shirt buttons. She pushed him back and he stared for a second concerned that she was putting an end to this. Her lips curled into slow lazy smile and she leisurely unbuttoned her shirt revealing a navy blue satin bra. Her cleavage was spilling over and Elliot growled in response. She threw the top over the wall into the next stall and proceeded to unbutton her slacks. He started to unfasten his belt and when she got a look at the bulge forming, she wasted no time shedding the rest of her clothes. He pulled down his boxers kicking them out of the shower and turned on the water. She yelped at the feel of the lukewarm water against her skin.

"El it's not hot enough," she shrieked and the smile brightened her face. He didn't get to see her like this enough and he wanted to do whatever he could to make sure he could see it more. He pulled her underneath the spray of the water when it warmed up and held her close. He watched her intently and stroked her hair while the water cascaded down her face. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He knew he had baggage and felt that she could do better but he wanted her with everything in him.

Olivia watched the emotions play out on his face and worried about him thinking too much. "It's ok," she encouraged him. "Everything's ok." She kissed him again reveling in the feel of his hard body alongside hers. He turned her away from him and she put her hands up on the wall to steady herself. He used his legs to spread hers and she moaned in anticipation. He squeezed and kneaded her nipples rolling them between his fingers. She threw her head back lying against his shoulders as his hand traveled lower down her abdomen.

"Are you ready for me Liv?" he whispered when his hand touched her core. He teased her folds with his fingertips and she arched into his touch trying to get him to penetrate her.

"Please," she begged.

His finger slid inside and he bucked into her at the feeling of her smooth walls. "Hmm you are ready," he whispered nibbling her ear.

He moved in and out of her slowly and she groaned when he added a second finger. He had one hand on her breast and the other bringing her to the brink of an orgasm. She was so close. She wanted him to fuck her but every part of Elliot was capable of bringing her over the edge. She tried to control her body but she felt her climax building.

"Unhhhh," she breathed squeezing his leg to brace herself until she heard the door to the locker room open. They both stiffened immediately, Elliot's fingers stopping just at the edge of her folds.

"Elliot you back there?"

It was Fin.

"Yeah I'm here just taking a shower before I head home." He tried to sound as normal as possible.

"Ok man. I left that Thompson folder on your desk, I just needed to grab my other coat."

Olivia was dying. Her body was burning to release and she needed Fin to hurry and leave. He sounded like he was about to leave until his cell phone rang and he answered it.

"Shit," Elliot cursed under his breath. Olivia started to squirm involuntarily. She needed to release and his fingers so close and yet so far was driving her crazy. She closed her eyes willing herself to calm down. When it was clear that Fin was not leaving anytime soon, she felt Elliot's hand leave her breast and cover her mouth. She was confused for a split second until she felt him start to move his hand inside of her again. She shut her eyes tightly trying to focus on not making any noise.

"It's ok baby," he whispered close to her hear. "Come."

She tried to process his words and she could hear Fin talking loudly on the phone to someone about a football game. Her body was becoming unhinged. She tried to fight it, she was nervous that she wouldn't be able to keep quiet but she couldn't stop it. Her body started to shudder and she came hard against his fingers. She closed her eyes tight as her walls clenched and his hand left her mouth to hold her around the waist and make sure she wouldn't fall. His fingers slowed down while she came down from her high and he kissed the back of her head tenderly.

"Ok?" he asked softly.

She nodded her head. He held her close and when he was sure that she was ok he turned her around to face him, her back touching the wet shower tiles. Fin was still talking and rummaging in his locker but he couldn't wait any longer.

He had waited long enough.

Olivia was still regaining her composure but when she saw his predatory gaze her eyes widened with recognition at what was about to happen. He kissed her softly so the sounds wouldn't echo, lifted both her legs around his waist, balanced her against the wall and sank deep into her.

XXXX

Author's Note: BYE CHARLES. Maybe Lisa is available for a date. Also, Casey is my spirit animal. Typically when she talks, it's all the things I would say.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Olivia has always liked Fin. Well actually when he first came on board she was a little skittish of him and they kept their distance but over the years they have grown to have a large amount of respect for each other. He's taught her a lot from his time in Narcotics and she's enjoyed getting to know the few peeks into his personal life that he has offered her. He's also pretty funny when he's not being overly serious. He's a good detective and a good person….. but she swears to God that if he doesn't walk out the door soon there is a good chance that she is going to kill him. It wouldn't be a pretty death either or a fast one. It would probably be some form of torture, similar to the torture she is enduring right now.

Elliot made calculated strokes not pulling all the way out for fear of their skin slapping together and being heard. Instead he pulled back slightly and when he drove back in he held her close for an extra second. The friction against her overly sensitive clit was excruciating and she didn't know how she managed to not scream out in ecstasy. He kissed her initially to muffle the sound but as his thrusts became deeper they couldn't concentrate long enough to hold the kiss.

He held her against the wall with his body, both of his arms planted firmly underneath her thighs. Her breasts caressed his chest and she struggled to find a place on his water soaked body to plant her fingernails. She wanted to sink her teeth into his shoulder, something to counterbalance the beautiful torment she felt between her legs. Elliot's eyes were screwed shut and even when his breathing changed his rhythm never faltered. She was slick and ready and he buried himself as deep as her body allowed. He knew he should've showed some restraint and slowed down his thrusts but when he was inside her he couldn't stop.

He simply couldn't stop.

When he held himself inside her and rolled his hips she whimpered and his hand flew up to her mouth just in time. Her eyes grew wide and he stilled for a fraction of a second to see if Fin's conversation stopped.

 _Nahh man. I'm just around the corner._

When it was evident Fin didn't hear her, a mischievous grin formed on Elliot's face and he continued. She exhaled and laid her head on his shoulder just trying to ride the wave and focus on anything but that familiar burning that was creeping up inside of her. This orgasm would be more intense, this she knew and there was no way she would be able to keep quiet. She wanted to kill Elliot for putting her through this. For having her use more energy than she had in her life to focus on not making one, single sound.

It wasn't any easier for him. He wanted to come. He wanted to come not long after entering her. Bringing her to the edge with his fingers had already started the ascent and now he was ready to fall over. The tingling in his length was getting stronger and when she laid her head on his shoulder, he in turn rested his head on hers. Their lips were inches apart but neither moved closer to kiss. Instead they closed their eyes, digesting the other's breaths. She breathed out when he breathed in and he thought about the irony of the situation. How this moment was a metaphor for their relationship over the years. Fighting every intense feeling inside of them but having to stay quiet. It was a dance they perfected as time passed but one that neither was willing to do anymore.

He could feel her breaths quickening and knew she was close.

"I want to scream," she whispered in beautiful agony between breaths.

It was taking every ounce of everything in him to keep it together. He felt her walls closing in on him and knew it was inevitable. "You're so close. I can feel you," he breathed.

And by the grace of something that Olivia wasn't sure she believed in, they heard Fin's voice fade and the door slam behind him.

Elliot waited a few seconds giving Fin more time to walk out of earshot before he widened his stance between her legs, spreading her open even more and grinding directly against her clit.

"Now baby," he rasped between thrusts. "Now you can scream."

Olivia threw her head back against the wall and cried out his name. She shattered and her body wouldn't stop convulsing around him. He joined her shortly after, spilling himself deep within her crevice and repeating her name over and over again. Once she got her breathing under control, she opened her eyes to find his blue eyes staring back at her. The look almost made her shy and she bit her bottom lip to stop the blush that she was sure was forming on her cheeks. He grinned and if they weren't in such an intimate position she would've slapped him. She wanted to make jokes about the situation, that they just fucked in a shower at work like two horny twenty somethings and almost got caught by their coworker but instead she surrendered to the overwhelming sentiment of adoration. He put his forehead against hers and kissed her sweetly. The water was beginning to get lukewarm again and their skin started to prune but she didn't care.

He kissed her slow and lazy like he didn't have anywhere to be or anything to do. He wanted it to last forever and even though there were a lot of things he wanted to say to her, there was one thing on his mind that he had to get off his chest.

"Liv," he breathed. His forehead was still joined with hers. Her eyes were closed and she was rubbing her hand back and forth on his arm.

"Yeah."

"Go on a date with me."

Her eyes flew open startled at his statement.

"What?"

He smiled and placed another chaste kiss on her lips.

"Go on a date with me and before you get ready to turn me down or say maybe we shouldn't or it's too much too fast, I want you to keep in mind that I'm still in you," he teased looking down at their lower halves still connected.

She laughed and he basked in the sound of her sexy, husky voice.

"Ok," she agreed. "Ill go out with you but you have to keep one thing in mind."

He lifted his eyebrow in anticipation. "What's that?"

"I don't have sex on the first date."

XXXX

As luck or karma would have it, Olivia ended up working the next case with Fin while Elliot spent his time at the courthouse working on a deposition. The first day she kept watching for signs that he knew what was going on between her and Elliot but he was impossible to get a read on which wasn't necessarily shocking. Fin always played his cards pretty close to the vest. Between her time hunting down someone who was responsible for a possible hate crime against gay men and Elliot's time with the attorneys, they missed each other for a few days and couldn't schedule their date. They did manage to squeeze in texts and phone calls.

The case was another tough one and all her concern about Fin finding out was soon overshadowed by his discovery that his son was gay. It was something she knew affected him even though he kept it to himself. Within a week they closed in on Gabriel Thomason as the murderer of Robin Weller and they had a little "downtime" before the trial began. Elliot returned to the squad room and after what happened in the showers, they agreed to behave at work. Despite flirtatious glances that lasted a bit too long and little touches here and there they managed to follow their own rule.

By Friday it was time for their date and Olivia hoped that they didn't catch a case. She wrapped up the last of her paperwork around 5, hoping to leave a little earlier than normal so she could get ready.

Elliot was still finishing up his and smirked when he saw her in a rush to leave. "You are in quite the rush Liv, got a hot date or something tonight?"

She stiffened for a second but quickly recovered before Fin or Munch noticed. "I do actually."

"Anyone we know?" Munch asked peeking over his glasses.

"Did you finally throw poor Chip a bone?" Fin added.

She sneered and rolled her eyes. "First of all his name was Charles not Chip."

Fin shrugged his shoulders. "Does it even matter at this point?"

"Second of all," she ignored his question, "No it's not Charles and no I'm not telling you who it is."

"What's with all the secrets?" Elliot asked clearly proud of himself. His hands were folded over his stomach and his feet were on top of the desk. He winked at her while Fin and Munch glanced at their paperwork.

"I'm not being secretive it's just none of you guys business."

"What's none of their business?" Casey asked strolling in with her briefcase.

Elliot instantly dropped his feet off the desk and started typing on his laptop to look busy. He had a feeling that Casey knew what transpired between him and Olivia and he knew their ADA wasn't always the most discrete.

"Umm nothing," Olivia said grabbing her coat.

"She's rushing out to get ready for hot date and won't tell us who he is," Fin interjected.

Casey's face lit up and Olivia immediately got nervous. "Oh is that so. A hot date hunh?"

She glanced at Elliot for a second just long enough for him to realize she was in fact on to them. "Well good for you Liv," she said patting her on the back.

"Thanks."

She hurried and grabbed her purse and was about to walk past her when Casey stopped her just in front of Elliot's desk and spoke low enough where only they could hear. "But before you go. I'm sure the guy who's giving you the amazing sex can wait for a minute while we go over something from the Thomason trial. I just needed to talk to you and Fin."

Elliot tried in vain to hide the huge grin that was plastered on his face and Olivia pinched her arm while pulling her the few feet towards Fin. "And thank you for that," she hissed.

"No problem." They got down to business discussing the case for the next few minutes and then Olivia finally turned on her heel to leave.

"Well actually I'm about to wrap up here why don't I walk you out?" Elliot offered. She glanced around and saw that Casey was thankfully tucked away in Cragen's office.

"Uhh sure of course. Come on."

"Ill hurry definitely don't want to hold you up from your hot date," he teased. He put on his jacket and walked towards the elevator with her a few steps ahead. Once they were inside and the door was closed he moved a bit closer to her and his hand lightly grazed hers.

"Soooo," he began in a playful tone. "Amazing sex hunh?"

She huffed and tried to hide the smile playing on her lips. "I swear you and Casey drive me insane."

"I think Casey is slowly becoming one of my favorite people."

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms so her hands weren't near his. "I bet she is. Maybe you should go out with her tonight instead of me," she shot back attempting to act jealous.

"Now why would I do that? She's not the one I'm having amazing sex with," he joked and she laughed despite herself.

"Well you keep it up you won't be having amazing sex with anyone unless of course you want to give Lisa a call," she said emphasizing Lisa with a bitter edge.

He held his chest like he was offended. "Ouch."

They walked to the street and he walked her to the sedan. "I doubt the sex could be amazing with anyone other than you." His change in demeanor took her off guard and she felt her pulse race when his fingers skimmed hers. They were in front of the police precinct so they had to be careful.

"Me too," she said shyly. "But nothing's changed. I don't have sex on the first date."

Elliot leaned against the car door as if he had been wounded. "That hurts I'm not going to lie but I think I can manage."

"That's good to hear." She opened the door and got in and he bent down while she rolled down the window and started the engine. "Unless maybe I could change your mind," he flirted.

She acted as if she was thinking about it for a minute. "Nahh. See you later Stabler."

XXXXXX

Elliot pulled up to Olivia's apartment building a few minutes after 7. He was running a few minutes late but if he knew her she wasn't ready yet anyway. They agreed to dinner and he had a little surprise for her. He knocked on her door at 7:15 and was pleasantly surprised when she answered and was ready. Her hair was pulled back in a messy bun and she wore a simple black dress that stopped at her knees, thin straps and fit her curves in all the right places. Elliot tried to stop himself from staring. He always knew that Olivia was a beautiful woman, but seeing her dressed up like this to go on a date with him was a little intimidating.

For dinner he took her to a small but classy Italian restaurant a few blocks from his apartment. It was quiet for a Friday night, which was exactly what he wanted. He wanted them to have the freedom to be able to talk without too much noise and distraction.

"El, this place is really nice. I can't believe I've never heard of it before," she said while looking at the menu.

He smiled and was relieved that she liked it. "An old buddy of mine from High School, his family owns the place. I come here to pick up takeout every now and then."

She was pleased that he would bring her to a place that was so personal to him. She gave him a small smile and continued to browse the menu. "Well since you come here all the time maybe you can recommend what's good here."

The waiter came and took their orders. Elliot recommended the Chicken Parmesan and a perfect complimentary wine.

"I also never pegged you for a wine drinker," Olivia noted.

He chuckled while swallowing the last of his wine. "There's a lot about me you don't know Detective."

"Ok tell me something."

He waved his finger. "Oh no you first."

She got ready to speak but he cut her off. "First some ground rules. There will be no talk of work tonight. Deal?"

He reached his hand across the table. "Deal," she agreed shaking his hand.

They talked during their meal about her times in college and he talked about the kids. They were adjusting better than she initially believed to the separation and she started to believe that maybe he had as well.

"So is this where you brought Lisa?" she teased.

He rolled his eyes and sipped his wine. "No. Her and I went to the movies twice and out for drinks once. That was the extent of it." She nodded her head and he could see the relief sweep over her. "I have to admit I never pegged you for the jealous type. I kinda like seeing this side of you."

She scoffed and finished the last of her food. "You are such an ego maniac. Of course you would like that."

Elliot began to check his watch every few minutes when they ordered dessert and Olivia became curious. "Are we late for something?"

"Not quite. There is a little surprise that should be starting up in just a minute."

She was hopeful at whatever he had up his sleeve. She never saw Elliot as the romantic type considering she had to shop for Kathy's anniversary and birthday gifts on more than a few occasions because he forgot.

The dessert arrived and they both took bites off of the other's plate. They had settled into quite a nice, comfortable rhythm and all of their apprehension about the date faded away. They worked well together as partners and best friends but both were concerned about the transition to being lovers and possibly pursuing a relationship.

"So can I ask you something?" Elliot approached cautiously. He wiped his mouth and set his napkin back in his lap.

"I think you just did," she joked.

He chuckled softly. "Are you having a good time so far?"

She finished the last of her wine and acted as if she was seriously pondering the question.

"Well don't take too long to answer the question Benson."

She tucked her hair behind her ear and laughed bashfully. "I'm having a great time Elliot. Much better than I thought I would."

His face registered his surprise. "I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing."

She quickly clarified her statement. "It's a good thing. A very good thing. I didn't know how all of this," she gestured between the two of them, "would work. It's not always easy to make that step from friends to…"

"Lovers?" he finished for her.

She flushed at his use of the term. "I think that part we seem to have covered." She gave him a seductive look and he shuffled in his seat. "I meant beyond that though. I mean if that's what you want." She worried for a moment that she may have overstepped.

He reached across the table and interlocked his fingers with hers. "We wouldn't be here if I didn't." They held each other's gaze for a few moments before Olivia looked away first feeling her cheeks warm under his stare. She's slept with him, she's saved his life, she's argued with him but it's this side of him that she feels is the most intimate.

They are interrupted by noises behind them when the curtain she didn't notice before is pulled back and a few men with instruments head to the stage. There are only about fifteen or so people in the restaurant and everyone begins to turn their seats to face them.

"What's going on?" she asked watching the scene unfold before her.

Elliot stood up and pulled an empty chair next to him and held out his hand for her to join him. She quickly obliged and he scooted in close and wrapped his hand around the back of her chair. "There may be a great little jazz band that plays here on Friday night," he spoke low in her ear.

She turned to him delighted at the prospect. "I didn't know you liked jazz."

"Well I did tell you there was a lot you didn't know about me."

It's true. They've been partners for almost eight years and she's learned more about him personally in the past week or so than she has during all those years. "So how long have you liked jazz?"

"My dad was a big jazz fan," he answered and she can see his mood shift at the mention of his father. She didn't know a lot about Joseph Stabler other than he was an ex-cop and a real son of a bitch at times. She wanted to know more but she knew that topic is something he's held close to the vest for a really long time and also she was concerned about the question being reciprocated. They've both only talked about their parents when necessary because of all the wounds that it opened up.

She turned back around to watch the stage when she felt the soft timbre of his voice in her ear again. "I used to sit and listen to records sometimes with him when I was young. I didn't really like jazz at first but it was a way for me to spend time with him. After awhile I grew to actually appreciate and like the music. I even have some of his old records at my apartment. I listen to them from time to time."

Olivia is almost speechless at the confession. He is surprised that he offered up so much himself. Deep down he hoped that by giving her tidbits about his past she would see how serious he was about the future. She grabbed his hand and held it in hers against her knee and they listen to the band play some tunes that he is familiar with.

"Do you want to dance with me?"

She startled at the question. He managed to surprise her yet again.

"Here?" she looked around and noticed that no one else was dancing.

"Usually when one couple starts everyone joins in."

 _Couple._ The word was foreign but becoming more familiar to describe them.

She stood up and followed him to the small area not far from the stage. The other patrons smiled at them as he wrapped one arm around her waist and put his other hand in hers. Elliot was a good dancer and his moves were smooth and fluid. As with every other part of their lives, their cadence was perfectly in sync. Olivia held her head close to his and let the music overtake her while she tried to process the night's events. She had never had such a perfect date and she found herself holding back tears when she heard him lightly hum in her ear. It wasn't about the dance or the food or the evening. She was overcome at the depth of sentiment she felt for this man.

There was no doubt in her mind.

She was in love with Elliot Stabler.

XXXXX

They pulled up to her apartment shortly after midnight. After dinner and dancing, they hung around to meet Elliot's friend and his father that owned the restaurant. They heard Elliot talk about Olivia before and was pleased to finally get a chance to meet her. He was proud to show her off and his friends were happy to see him in a new place in his life.

When Elliot didn't turn the car off, Olivia was a little dumbfounded.

"Walk you to the door?" he offered.

"Umm you don't want to come up?"

"You said you don't put out on the first date remember?" he reminded her grinning.

She chuckled back and pulled his hand in hers. "I think you are worth making an exception."

He exhaled and played with her fingers while he searched for the right words to say. Olivia began to panic at his silence. "Look if you don't want to—"

"No no it's not that," he quickly corrected her and scratched the back of his head trying to find the right words to convey how he was feeling. "This is the real deal for me Liv and I want to prove that to you so if that's your dating rule then so be it. I don't want to treat this any different than what you would do for someone you were serious about. I hope that makes sense."

Elliot was never the best communicator and he hoped that she understood what he was trying to say. He wanted nothing more than to take her upstairs and make love to her well into the night but he wanted her to see that they were so much more than that. His marriage was over and she was the person he wanted to be with.

She was disappointed but genuinely moved by his admission. "It makes perfect sense. So if my rule is that I don't have sex until the fifteenth date you would be cool with that too?" she asked trying to tease him.

"I would be cool with whatever it takes to be with you."

Her whole body broke out in goosebumps. "Well just so you know it's not."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "And thank goodness for that."

She took his hand and squeezed it tightly in hers. "I do kiss on the first date though. I mean if it's a good date."

"And this qualifies as a good date?"

"It was a great date," she clarified.

She leaned in to kiss him and it was soft and sweet. She pulled back at first and was ready to say goodnight until she caught a glimpse of his eyes. In the darkness, his blue eyes gleamed and took her breath away. She leaned in again and their lips intertwined. This time the kiss was more frantic and she could feel the adrenaline running through her veins. His tongue danced with hers but when her hand landed on his chest he quickly dragged his lips away from hers. "Get in the apartment Liv," he warned and she chuckled.

"Fine," she playfully huffed.

He walked her to the door and embraced her giving her a chaste kiss on the lips.

"Good night Elliot."

"Good night."

She was about to walk in the door when he called back out to her. "Hey Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"Since I can't walk you up to your door blink your lights so I know you got in safely."

She smiled at the memory of his words to her early on in their partnership when everything was so different and now ironically feeling very much the same. "You still are a stubborn son of a bitch aren't you?"

"Would you want me any other way?"

"Good night Elliot".

She opened her apartment door and looked down to see his car still sitting there. She blinked her lights and saw him slowly pull away.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

For their second date, Olivia watched in enjoyment as she dragged Elliot through an exhibit at the museum she had been dying to see. Central Park was too much of a cliché and she had no desire to spend her Sunday watching skateboarders in the park. Elliot was on to what she was trying to do and at first he kept a smile on his face just to spite her but after about an hour he genuinely appreciated watching her in her element. She talked him through each exhibit but he didn't hear a word she said. He was content just seeing the smile illuminate her face and his chest felt a little tighter when she held his hand while they toured the museum.

They were both nervous about seeing someone from work but thankfully they weren't discovered. After the museum they grabbed lunch at a small bistro around the corner. It was a place she ate often and even though he wouldn't have chosen it on his own, he felt like she was slowly giving him a glimpse of her world outside of the 1-6 and their respective apartments.

When the date was over he dropped her off at home, both of them lingering on her stoop a little longer than necessary not wanting to say goodbye. He stood shyly with his hands in his pockets and a boyish grin while she stood like a love struck teenager swaying back and forth with her hands crossed in front of her. He knew that it was just their second date and that he wouldn't be going upstairs. Although he couldn't wait to feel her body next to his again, it was this side of her that he underestimated how much he wanted to get to know.

Olivia was always somewhat of an enigma to him. He never understood how she managed to do this job considering the circumstances surrounding her conception and still be more passionate about it now than she was when she first started. Despite the depravity they saw everyday, she managed to still have this hope and positivity about people that he felt he was losing by the day.

Elliot watched her walk in her building, sneaking glances at him over her shoulder with a smirk on her face. She looked at him as if she thought he was unreal or a dream and he realized he hadn't ever felt this kind of love in his life. It scared him, humbled him and made him feel like a better man.

XXXX

Olivia stayed in her apartment for the rest of the day after her date with Elliot. Usually she would go stir crazy being in her place for too long because she was used to being called on a case or finishing errands that she didn't get a chance to do because of work. She wasn't hungry because she had just finished lunch and brought the rest of her sandwich home after her date with Elliot.

Elliot.

Repeating the name in her head instantly brought on a curl of her lip. She smiled automatically now at the mention of his name. She didn't know when she became this person. She hadn't felt this way about someone in-well ever. Their time together was effortless and instead of having to waiver through the uncomfortable conversation of what she did for a living and about her lack of family which she had to do on other dates, they just simply got to know each other better.

She was worried initially that their attraction was merely physical and that intense, brooding Elliot would be awkward and boring on dates but that couldn't have been further from the truth. He was actually romantic and funnier than she ever gave him credit for. She didn't know where everything with him was going and she battled with herself to not overthink and ruin it. She decided for once to live in the moment. She took a shower and threw on a t-shirt and some yoga pants to lounge at home for the rest of the evening. Her text message alert went off as she settled on her sofa with the remote in hand.

 _What are you up to?_

She smiled at the message. She was thinking about texting him too but knew he was spending time with his kids and didn't want to ruin it.

 _Just getting ready to watch some TV. What are you up to?_

 _Leaving the pizza joint with the kids. Going to hang out with them at the house a little more and head home._

She smiled wilder realizing he was just checking in on her.

 _Did you guys have fun?_

 _Yeah. They are something else. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow._

 _I look forward to it._

 _So…what are you wearing?_

She laughed out loud. She could just picture the impish look on his face while he was typing the message.

 _You are ridiculous._

 _You're not going to tell me?_

 _Nope._

A few moments went by and he hadn't responded. She got up to retrieve the rest of her sandwich when she heard her phone ring. She answered without paying attention to the caller id.

"I'm not going to tell you what I have on right now."

There was a long pause. "And thank goodness for that," the familiar female voice answered.

Olivia startled. "Casey?"

"Yep and I would ask who you thought that was but I'm pretty sure I know the answer."

Olivia groaned and sat back on the couch. "Don't start. What's up?"

"I need you to be a wing woman for me tonight."

She grumbled and laid her head on the back of the couch. "Oh no not tonight. It's Sunday."

"Come on Benson its not even 6 o'clock yet. I'm at this stupid lawyer thing and I need someone here with me. Plus there is this hot attorney here that I have my eye on and I'm super nervous."

"What does that have to do with me? How would I help that situation?" She got up and walked to the bedroom knowing that she was going to give in and needed to pick out some clothes.

"Because I tend to be a lot more loose when you are around and I may need you to go talk to him for me. You are good at that. Plus you owe me."

Olivia was rummaging through her closet and frowned at Casey's comment. "Owe you? For what?"

"If it wasn't for me, you and that sexy partner of yours would still be pushing each other down on the playground instead of telling each other how you really feel," she began. She lowered her voice into the phone so no one around her could hear. "And you also wouldn't be having some of the best sex of your life. Now get your ass down here."

Casey gave Olivia the address and within thirty minutes she was out the door.

XXXXX

"Since when do you stay hooked to your phone all the time?" Kathleen asked annoyed. "Who are you talking to?" She tried to peek over his arm but he quickly pulled back hiding the screen.

He put the phone back in his pocket. "Nobody. Come on let's get in the car."

Kathleen eyed him suspiciously and got in the car with Maureen close behind. The ride back to the house was full of the usual banter between Liz and Dick and Maureen and Kathleen passed each other glances back and forth. Elliot felt his phone buzz in his pocket and wanted to answer it right away knowing it was Olivia but decided to wait when he felt the stares coming at him from all sides. When they pulled into the driveway all of the kids hopped out of the car and Elliot checked the message.

 _Casey is dragging me to a mixer with her lawyer friends. She said I owed her for all the great sex I've been having. Have a good night. See you tomorrow._

Elliot smiled. He thought the dynamic between Casey and Olivia was hilarious.

 _Be careful. Let me know that you made it home safe. And she's right. You do owe her._

He was alarmed by a knock on the jeep window. It was Kathy.

"Hey you coming in? I thought you were going to hang out and watch a movie with the kids."

He quickly put the phone back in his pocket. "Oh yeah I am. Just wrapping up something."

She frowned hoping this wouldn't lead to him bailing on the kids. "It's not work is it?"

"Yeah—uhh no." He was used to equating Olivia with work but they were more than that now. Much more. "No not work. Come on let's go inside."

After the movie was over the twins went upstairs to finish homework and get ready for bed while Kathleen and Maureen whispered among themselves in the living room. Elliot walked into the kitchen to put away the popcorn bowl. He threw away the rest, washed the bowl, put it away and tied up the bag to get ready to throw it out.

Kathy watched him in awe and it wasn't until he came back in from dumping the trash that he noticed her eyes on him. "You're whistling," she observed. She folded her arms and tilted her head examining his body language.

"I was?" He didn't even notice. "Oh yeah I guess I was."

"And you never helped me do anything around the house," she added.

Elliot chuckled uncomfortably and put another bag in the trash can. "Would you rather I didn't help? I saw the trash needed to go out and I took it out." He shrugged his shoulders. "No big deal."

She continued to observe him and he walked in the living room to go and talk to his daughters before he left. They were whispering among one another and stopped suddenly when he walked in.

"So what's going on girls? Who's the latest love interest?" He sat down in the chair and smoothed his hands out on his jeans ready for whatever they were going to lay on him.

"What are you talking about dad?" Maureen asked.

He chuckled at their attempt to be reserved. "Come on. I'm your father. I know when you guys are whispering about boys or have something up your sleeve. Just tell me what it is."

Kathleen and Maureen looked back and forth between each other and giggled before Kathleen got up to give him a kiss on the cheek. "Good night dad. I'm really glad you are doing okay."

Elliot stood up and watched her trot up the stairs. "What was that about?" he asked Maureen.

She shrugged her shoulders and walked to the kitchen to say goodbye to her mom. "Dad are you getting ready to leave? You can walk me out."

"I guess I am. Good night Kath," he waved and walked out with his oldest daughter a few steps in front of him.

He walked her to her car and she stopped when she opened the door. "So who is she dad?"

The question caught him off guard and he couldn't hide the guilty look on his face. Maureen started to laugh and he figured he shouldn't even lie. "Mo it's—"

"It's fine dad. I promise. We all know it's over between you and mom and the divorce is almost final. It's ok for you to have someone in your life," she assured him.  
He put his hands in his pocket not sure what to say next. He wasn't prepared to have this conversation with his children yet. He hadn't even talked to Olivia about everything yet. "You really ok with all of this?"

Maureen put her hand over his. "I promise. Kathleen and I are fine. It's actually pretty cool to see you this giddy over someone. I haven't seen you this happy in-in a very long time." She looked a little sad and Elliot knew she realized that her parents hadn't been happy for some time.

"Thanks."

She got in the car and closed the door but rolled down her window. "Is it anyone we know?"

She had his same mischievous smile and he flushed at the question. "Drive safe honey. I love you."

"I love you too."

XXXXX

Olivia and Casey stood near the hotel banquet hall door laughing and drinking while Casey delighted in her plan actually working. Jason Walters was an attractive family law attorney from a small but respectable firm and after some coaxing from her friend, Casey walked over to introduce herself and they had a coffee date on Wednesday.

"See there," Olivia tapped her hand. "He was interested. All you had to do was go talk to him."

Casey shook her head while swallowing the rest of her wine. "Oh please Liv. Don't act like I'm the one that's crazy because I didn't walk up and ask a guy out. If it wasn't for me you would still not be talking to Elliot."

Olivia waved her off. "Yeah yeah you sound like a broken record. We will name our first born after you ok?"

The words were out of her mouth before she realized it. She tried to hurry and drink the rest of her wine hoping Casey wouldn't notice. Of course she wasn't so lucky.

"Well well well. Look who's talking about having kids with Elliot Stabler," Casey teased.

She immediately went into defense mode. "No I just meant—I didn't mean."

"No that's exactly what you meant," Casey interrupted while laughing.

She started to look a little panicked and Casey put her hand over hers to calm her down. "Liv it's really ok. There's nothing wrong with you thinking about a future with Elliot."

She finished off the rest of her wine and checked the time. "It's getting late. You got your date. Can I be excused now?"

Casey started to get worried at her sudden change in mood and gathered her things to leave with her. "Come on. You don't have to take a cab. I'll drop you off."

In the car Olivia was mostly silent so Casey spoke up. "Liv I know I give you a lot of shit about Elliot but really. You guys seem so happy together. I haven't seen him smile this much in the two years I've known him." Olivia smiled listening to her. It was true. She had seen how much happier he had been later. "You either by the way," she added shrugging her elbow against Olivia's. "You're happy Benson. He's happy. I know enough to know that's not just because the sex is great. He loves you. You love him."

Olivia got ready to interrupt and she held up her finger in warning. "I swear to God if you tell me that no one has said anything about the L word again I'm going to stop in the middle of this intersection and put you out of my car."

Olivia rolled her eyes and giggled.

"You love him. Why won't you tell him?" Casey reasoned.

She rolled her eyes and stared out of the window. The city seemed uncharacteristically quiet for a Sunday night or maybe it was just overshadowed by the loud pounding of her heart at the line of conversation. "This all just came out of the blue."

Casey raised her eyebrow. "You call seven years out of the blue?"

Olivia sighed and put her head back against the headrest. "What are we doing Casey?"

"Umm going to your house."

She laughed but couldn't shake the feeling in the pit of her stomach. "I'm serious. We're partners. He has kids and an ex-wife who will hate my guts. It's going to get all complicated before we really get a chance to—"

They pulled up to the curb of her building and she sat in the car for a minute playing with her hands.

"A chance to what?"

"I don't know…. to get serious about it I guess. I've been so busy in la la land that I wasn't thinking about his kids. I don't want them to think that this has been going on while he was married to their mom. And Kathy dear lord. Don't get me started there. He has four kids already. What if he doesn't want more? I want children." she rambled. "And I don't want anyone as my partner."

Casey gave her a sympathetic smile. "Sounds like you were doing better in la la land. This real world stuff is overrated."

She chuckled bitterly. "Yeah. It always comes to this doesn't it? Real life."

Casey turned to her and briefly glanced past her at something in the background before focusing back on her face. "Do you want Elliot?"

Olivia scoffed. "It's not that—"

"Do. You. Want. Elliot?"

She exhaled and threw her head against the back of the seat again. "I don't want anyone else," she responded repeating the words she uttered to him.

"Then you do what you have to do to make it work. I have a feeling that he's serious about you and he's willing to do whatever it takes."

She smiled in response and kept her eyes fixed on the ceiling of the car. "Oh yeah? How do you figure?"

"Because it's getting pretty late and he's sitting on your stoop right now."

Olivia's head popped up and she instantly locked eyes with him. He gave her a shy wave.

She opened the car door in disbelief, stepping out on to the curb. She leaned over in the car to get her keys and cell phone.

"Hey Liv. Enjoy la la land. It's really not so bad there," Casey said offering her friend the last bit of advice for the night. She drove off and Olivia stood in stunned silence at her partner in front of her.

Elliot took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. She was beautiful. She had on black slacks, a deep purple shirt that hugged her curves and her hair was pulled back. He wondered if there would ever be a time when her mere presence didn't knock him off center. He felt like a pubescent teenager. He didn't have a plan when he came over. He just wanted to see her.

"Hey," he said nervously.

"Hey yourself."

They stood at the stoop much like they did earlier in the day not quite knowing what to say to each other but not wanting it to end.

"So funny thing," he started, "I heard that there was some serial killer visiting law mixers and when you said you were going I was a little concerned so I figured I would come check on you. Make sure you got home ok."

She laughed out loud and he immediately relaxed.

She eyed him speculatively. "Serial killer hunh?"

"Yep."

She walked up the stairs closer to him and put her hands at his hips. "I am a cop El just like you so if there was danger then I could protect myself."

He took her hands off his hips and held them in his. "I just wanted to see you Liv."

She blushed and he was relieved that he had the same effect on her as she had on him. They were both novices in this type of situation. They didn't have all the answers but they knew they wanted each other.

"I'm glad you came by. I was just talking about you."

He laughed. "You were in the car with Casey so I bet you were."

"Mhmm," she muttered playfully.

"Do I want to know?"

"Don't you always?"

She was in a playful mood and that made him even more comfortable. He lowered his forehead to hers and heard her sigh in response.

"Do you want to take a walk with me? I know it's kind of late but—"

She smiled up at him. He didn't try to come upstairs again. For a fleeting second because it was pretty late she thought he would try and get an invitation upstairs. He surprised her once again.

"Yes I would love to."

They walked down the few steps to the sidewalk and she stopped suddenly. "Wait."

He furrowed his brow and looked concerned. "What's wrong?"

"With that serial killer out are you sure it's safe?"

She bit her bottom lip to stop herself from laughing.

"Very funny Liv. I'm sure we will be fine. Not only am I _amazing_ in bed I think was the term Casey used but I can also defend a damsel in distress."

"El you call me a damsel or something in distress again and I'm going to knee you in the balls," she threatened lightheartedly and jabbed her finger in his chest for emphasis.

"Ow," he yelped. "I think if you injure me there you will be hurting yourself more than you are hurting me," he shot back.

She started to hit him in the chest. "You arrogant jackass," she said in between light jabs to the chest.

"Ouch Liv."

"Oh yeah you are so hurt. That mouth of yours is really going to get you in trouble."

His face lit up and she knew he was about to make another off the collar remark. She put her hand over his mouth stopping him before he got the chance. "Don't you dare say it."

He held up his hands in surrender and they continued to walk down the sidewalk. The temperature was perfect and the light breeze made for a great walk. There were a few people scattered along the street but for the most part it was quiet and perfect. They walked a few steps in comfortable silence before Elliot spoke up. "Tell me something about you I don't know."

She snickered and thought about his question. "Hmmm let's see. I wanted to be a ballerina when I grew up."

He laughed out loud at her confession.

"You're about to get hit again El."

"Wait are you being serious?" he asked between chuckles.

"Yes I'm being serious. I wanted to be a professional ballerina," she held her hands above her head in a dancer pose.

"And how old were you when you had this _dream_?" he asked using air quotes.

"I had the dream up until I was about 9 or 10."

"What happened?"

"Boobs," she answered frankly gesturing towards her chest.

Elliot started to laugh again. "Well if it makes you feel better I for one am thankful you are not a dancer and for your boobs."

"You are such a juvenile."

He started to walk backwards and kept in time with her slow stride.

"So now it's your turn. Tell me something about you that I don't know."

"This wasn't a game," he pointed out thankful for the new angle because now he got to look her in the eyes.

"Why not? Games tend to work well for us."

He stopped walking and she followed. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"I don't know that it's either. It just works," she answered honestly.

He nodded and they started to walk again turning the block on to another quiet street. "I'm waiting," she nudged.

"Something you don't know," he repeated thinking about what he would tell her. "Well I found out tonight that I'm pretty sure my two oldest kids know that we are involved, it doesn't bother them and they are just happy to see that I'm happy."

Olivia stopped immediately. He turned around to see her leaning against one of the steps in front of a brownstone. "What's wrong?"

"Your kids know?" She was starting to freak out and he wanted nothing more than to make her feel at ease.

"Yes. It was only a matter of time right?" he asked bending down to get eye level with her. "Come here." He pulled her into a hug. She didn't reciprocate at first but after a few agonizing seconds she wrapped her arms around him.

"My kids are everything to me Liv. And now so are you. They had to know. I would've liked to tell them a little later but they notice things. You would think they were detectives or something," he tried to joke. Her lip slightly curled upwards and he felt like he was starting to get through to her. It wasn't exactly how either of them planned to break the news to his kids but nothing about their situation had gone according to plan.

"So now what?" she asked.

"Now we keep walking." He took her hand in his as they walked. Her mind was racing but it felt nice to just hold his hand and act like a normal couple. "So they don't hate me?"

"No. They don't hate you. I promise."

She took a deep breath and braced herself to ask the next question. "And Kathy?"

"If my daughters know she does too. She was looking at me a little strange all night but she didn't talk to me directly about it…yet."

She squeezed his hand and stopped walking again. "Do you think she will ask you about me?"

He laughed as if it was no big deal. "Oh yeah. It's only a matter of time."

"That doesn't make you nervous?"

He sighed and scrubbed his other hand down his face. "Not nervous. It's uncomfortable to talk to your almost ex-wife about who you are seeing especially since she knows you but it's necessary. I won't ever not tell her the truth."

"I know," she responded. It was one of the things she loved most about him. "I don't want you to lie to her it's just—awkward."

"Yeah but it is what it is. Honestly I don't think she's too surprised."

And that's what Olivia was afraid of. She felt the tension with Kathy here and there through the years and felt like she merely tolerated her at best but deep down she knew that Kathy suspected there was something going on between them.

Olivia started back walking still holding on firmly to his hand.

"So I believe it's your turn again," he declared continuing their game.

"I'm a little taken aback by all of this that's going on between us," she admitted quietly.

"I said tell me something I didn't know."

She blushed a bit at his response. "Sorry."

"Don't be. I'm taken aback too. It's almost 10 o'clock on a Sunday night and I'm walking up and down a street holding hands with my partner who a few weeks ago I wasn't sure could stand me half the time."

She smiled at his admission. "Oh don't worry. I still can't stand you sometimes."

He smirked and she saw a hint of his dimples. "That's good to know but I think you know what I meant."

"Yeah I do."

He exhaled and prepared himself to ask a question he had to know the answer to. "Are you so taken aback that you want to end this?"

"No." Her answer was firm and immediate. "I don't want to end this. This is the happiest I've been in a long time. I don't know how we got here but I don't care anymore," she stopped him again as they turned the corner back on her block. She lifted her hand to his cheek and kissed him. It was a chaste peck on the lips at first but she quickly deepened it pulling his lower lip between hers. "I just want you," she whispered crashing her lips against his. He moaned and wrapped his hands around her waist pulling her close to him.

"I have a question you can answer," he quipped pulling away from her. "How many dates before you go all the way?"

"All the way?" she asked playfully. "You really are a juvenile."

He laughed and kissed her again.

"Well I have good news and bad news for you El. Which one do you want first?" She took his hand and they walked closer to her building.

"Give me the bad news. May as well get it out of the way."

"It takes four dates."

"And the good news?"

"I'll go ahead and count this as a date."

His eyes brightened. He knew she was being lenient with him considering they hadn't really gone anywhere.

"Really? So that makes three dates total then. So close and yet so far," he responded. They were in front of her building and he really didn't want to say goodbye but they both had to be up for work in the morning. She drew him into another embrace and laid her head on his shoulder. He smelled her hair and caressed her back. He felt her take a deep breath and squeeze him tighter. "I don't want to let go," she confessed.

"Me either. It's getting harder and harder to let go."

She didn't want him to leave but it was inevitable. "So I think it's your turn."

"Hunh?" he stepped back looking at her confused. "For what?"

"To tell me something about you that I don't know."

He pondered the question for a moment and put his forehead alongside hers.

It was now or never.

"Something that you don't know. Hmmm," he repeated running his fingers through her hair. He put his finger under her chin, bringing her eyes up to meet his.

"I'm in love with you."

XXX

Author's Note: I know this chapter was a little more serious than the others but it tends to get that way when Elliot's family is brought into the mix. Don't worry this is not a dark fic and won't stay serious for long but I always planned to have them in here in some way. And if you know the order of the episodes you know the next case is pretty intense so we need to weed through that for a chapter.

Also, people ask me a lot about songs to listen to when they read my stories or chapters. This one I had in mind the song "How did I fall in love with you" by the Backstreet Boys. I know what you are thinking… "The Backstreet Boys? Really?" LOL But I swear. Listen to the song and you will get it J Also Merry Christmas.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

 _"_ _I'm in love with you."_

Everything stood still and even though she didn't think it was possible, the street was quieter than it was before. There was nothing around for a distraction or something to remove her mind from this moment long enough to get her wits back and respond. Her breathing became shallow and Elliot stroked her cheek with his thumb.

"I—I'm-", she stopped when he put two of his fingers over her lips.

 _I'm in love with you too._ She wanted to say it but couldn't form the words.

"Shhh." He placed his lips over hers replacing his fingers. The kiss was soft and sweet and she instantly relaxed. "I didn't say that for you to say it back. Actually as of about a minute ago I wasn't planning on saying it. It just felt right."

"Oh." She let her eyes drift shut when his hands caressed her neck and he put his forehead on hers. "El I—"

"You don't have to say it," he breathed against her forehead. He could feel her struggle and he didn't want to scare her off. "Do me a favor. Don't say anything to me right now. I'll just think it's in response to what I said. Ok?"

She nodded her head in agreement and wrapped her hands around his waist not wanting to let go. "Can I take you to dinner tomorrow?"

He smiled in her hair rubbing his hands along her lower back. "Fourth date hunh?"

Olivia scoffed and hit him on the back, stepping away from him. "That's not why I asked jackass." They locked eyes and she felt a chill up her spine. She didn't know when and where she decided to let herself fall in so deep with him. She had over planned almost every aspect of her life but she never planned this. To feel like this.

"Then why?"

He genuinely wanted to know. She could read in his eyes that he was feeling vulnerable after his confession even though he told her not to say it back.

"Because I want to spend time with you..and I want to show you something."

His eyebrow lifted and the smirk she enjoyed so much was back. He gazed up and down her body. "Anything you've shown me before?"

She slapped his arm and gave him another quick kiss. "Good night Elliot."

"Ohh and you used my whole name that's brutal."

She looked over her shoulder to see he was standing there watching her closely and not moving to get back in his car. She didn't have to ask why. He was waiting on her to blink the lights.

* * *

 _What did I do? Why did they shoot me?_

 _I don't know sweetie._

Olivia couldn't get the words out of her head. Their Monday morning was abruptly interrupted by word of shots fired at a nearby school. Her and Elliot arrived on the scene to one boy killed and two other children wounded. She rode in the ambulance with Annabelle and the look of agony and confusion on the little girl's face was almost too much to bear. The day didn't get better from there. She had to tell one of the mothers that her child didn't make it and watch her break down in her arms.

It was times like these that she struggled with the decision to want to be a mother. She couldn't imagine having one of her children hurt or worse being on the other side of the conversation she had to have that day. Elliot was obviously affected by the case in different ways and she tried to offer her support the best way she could. He cancelled their dinner that night opting to go see his children instead. She didn't talk to him that night but she imagined that he had the same batch of nightmares she did. Over the next few days they uncovered evidence that a racist group was involved and the child was targeted because he was black. The case hit home for every member of the team in its own way and they struggled to keep it together while they dug through the hateful websites and paraphernalia.

They were working around the clock and going home for a couple of hours sleep here and there. She would catch his glance at her every once in a while offering her an encouraging smile and she would do the same. By the end of the week they had closed in on a suspect and everyone had some room to breathe. She was sitting at her desk wrapping up some paperwork when she saw Elliot rub his neck, stretch and announce that he was going to the cribs and lay down for a bit. Olivia sat at her desk going through her own paperwork but couldn't really concentrate. She needed to talk to him and make sure that he was okay and more than anything she just missed him.

"Hey Liv we going to grab a bite you wanna come?" Fin asked.

"No thanks. I'll probably go pick up a sandwich from across the street or something."

"Ok."

They left the squad room and with Cragen in his office on the phone she went up the stairs to go check on Elliot. She walked in the room and saw he was laid on his side, his back facing the door.

"What took you so long?" he asked turning around and seeing her standing timidly against the door. She smiled at him and sat on the bed across from him.

He patted the space next to him on the bed. "Come here."

"El—"

"Come on I'm going to behave I swear."

She scooted in next to him on the small bed, both of them barely fitting. He wrapped his arm around her waist and cuddled close to her, his soft breaths hitting her neck.

She hadn't locked the door because she knew if someone came up that would cause more suspicion than anything. They would just listen intently for any footsteps and break apart as soon as possible.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

"Yeah," he rasped. "Better now." She didn't have to see him to know he was smiling at the words he said to her when they were on that undercover mission three years ago. He was dressed in a suit with glasses on looking every bit the Corporate type while she wore an off the shoulder simple black dress. She felt the sparks between them even then but like so many times over the years it was just another example of words left unsaid and feelings swept under the rug.

She squeezed his hand at her waist. "I've been worried about you these past few days."

"I'm hanging in there." He kissed her shoulder and her neck. "I've been worried about you too."

She closed her eyes at the feeling of his mouth on her neck. "I've been ok. Just—thinking."

"What about?"

She wondered if it was worth mentioning.

"It's ok. Tell me," he urged.

"It never gets easier. Telling a parent they lost their child. I couldn't imagine," she admitted. He stiffened against her. It never got easier for him and every case never stopped reminding him and making him fearful for his own children.  
"No it doesn't," he responded simply. "But the good times far outweigh any of the other stuff. That's what I hold on to."

She was speechless. A part of her wanted him to get up and go punch a locker so she would be convinced that this was the same man she had been sitting across from for over seven years.

"You're right."

"I'm always right."

She giggled and he pulled her closer to him, almost hugging her from behind. "I wouldn't go that far."

He kissed her neck again and felt the goosebumps start to form on her skin. He kept his lips on her and she began to writhe next to him. She moved her leg backwards and he lifted his allowing hers to rest between. Her left arm reached back pulling his head more into the crook of her neck. She moaned when his hands started to wonder up and down her torso.

"We have to stop," she whispered when she felt his erection forming behind her.

He pulled away almost immediately and she couldn't help but feel disappointed at the loss of his touch.

Elliot wiped his hands across his face trying to snap himself out of it. He didn't know how long he was going to be able to do this. He couldn't keep his hands off of her when she was near and they had been reckless once at work, it couldn't keep happening. "I'm sorry."

She stood up next to the bed and gave him a sympathetic look. "Don't be. I wish we could fi-."

He held up his hand to stop her. "I know." He couldn't hear her say anything else or he was going to lose the last bit of control he had.

"I'm going to head back downstairs," she announced.

He looked down at his obvious erection bulging through his pants. "I'll be down there in a minute let me just get myself together."

She smiled and leaned over to give him a kiss. "Can we reschedule dinner for tonight?"

He grinned and kissed her again. "You bet."

* * *

It was a little after 7:30 when they arrived at the small restaurant. They were still in their work clothes, opting not to go home and change since they had to work late.

Elliot looked around at the bar area, the small circle wooden tables covered with white linen tablecloths with a candle as the centerpiece. "I've never been here before."

The waiter approached their table. "Hey Olivia. It's been a while," he greeted her.

"Yeah it has. This is my partner Elliot Stabler," she waved her hand in his direction to introduce him.

Elliot shook his hand and watched the familiarity between the two of them. They both ordered wine and looked over the menus while Paul walked away.

"So you're a regular here?"

Olivia rubbed her hands together anxiously. "This was my mom's favorite restaurant."

She could see the flicker of emotion briefly on his face but he recovered quickly and nodded his head. Paul came back with the wine and took their orders. They talked briefly about the case and how sad it was that Brian Ackerman raised his child to hate others. She quickly switched gears as had been the case since they started to see each other she didn't want to talk about work. The waiter brought their food over and she waited while he tasted his food.

"Wow. This is unbelievable."

She smiled and took a sip of her wine. "See. I told you. Some of the best pasta in Manhattan."

"I will never doubt you again."

She ate some of her food and tried to figure out where to begin with what she had to say next. She had opened up more to Elliot than she had to anyone else she ever dated but it was still hard for her when it came to certain topics. Especially her mother. The tales of Serena Benson had been revealed to him in bits and pieces over the years when a case would come up that was similar or when she was having a hard time. For the most part it was something she kept tucked away not wanting to have anyone feel sorry for her.

"I've come here a few times over the years just to feel a sense of familiarity I guess," she began. "But for the most part I've tried to avoid it because of the memories." She was playing with the rim of her wine glass avoiding eye contact. "The last time I was here with my mom I was talking to her about the Anya Ragova case. Remember that one?"

He smiled and nodded his head. "How could I forget? That one really hit home for you."

"It did," she acknowledged and finally met his gaze. "I talked to her and she told me that she really wanted me to get out of SVU for the millionth time. I told her that I would've wanted her to kill my father for what he did to her and she asked me if I thought I would've been better off if she was in jail instead of raising me."

She drank the rest of her wine and crossed her arms almost hugging herself. "I told her that I hated him for what he did to her and she said that if he didn't then I wouldn't be here and she held my hand…across this table," she said gesturing at the table they were sitting at. "This was where we sat every time we came here."

Elliot swallowed hard not knowing how to digest the information but was grateful that she shared it with him.

"My mom was tough and we got into a lot but I know she loved me. That night we were here was the only time in my life I can remember that she talked about what happened to her and me being the result of it and not seeming angry. I felt truly loved by her and not just because I was her child but because I was me," she whispered and a tear fell down her cheek. He reached across the table and took her hand, enclosed it in his and squeezed. "I only met your mom a handful of times but I know she loved you Olivia. How could she not?"

She chuckled and squeezed his hand in return. "My whole name. Wow," she mocked playfully. "You may be a little biased though." She took a deep breath and pulled herself together. "I brought you here because it was a part of my life that was important to me and now you are important to me," she explained playing with his fingers. "I love you Elliot. I'm in love with you too."

He let go of a breath he didn't realize he was holding and looked around briefly to see how many people were around. When he saw it was only a few he got up from his chair, leaned over and pressed his lips against hers. He could taste the salt from her tears and the red wine as she deepened the kiss. He heard Paul whistling light heartedly behind him and pulled back. He sat back in his chair and she motioned for Paul to come over.

"Can we get the check and two to go boxes?"

Elliot smirked and cocked his head to the side. "You in a rush detective?"

"Very much so." The look she gave him caused his length to stir in his pants and he couldn't wait to leave.

She took care of the check and handed it back to Paul. "I didn't even get a chance to have dessert," Elliot teased while they held hands and walked out of the restaurant. "Don't worry El," she assured him in a low sultry voice. "I have something you can have for dessert back at my place."

Olivia didn't know how they managed to make it to her building and keep their hands off each other. Once they made it to her apartment and the door closed behind them all bets were off. Elliot stood by the door and looked at her with the same look he gave her in the showers at work.

"So," he said and took off his weapon and badge setting them on her kitchen counter. She quickly followed. She stood against the small wall leading to her living room and he walked over, placed both his hands near her head effectively caging her in. "What do we do now?"

She smiled and leaned her pelvis into his and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Well I did promise you dessert," she whispered in his ear. He growled in response. She took off her jacket and toed off her shoes never breaking eye contact with him. He took his hands off the wall so he could stand back and watch her. She put her hands on the hem of her shirt and stalled for a moment.

"Take it off," he rasped. She felt powerful having this type of control over him. It spurred her on and she lifted her shirt over her head and heard his sharp intake of breath at the sight of her breasts practically spilling out of her bra. He fidgeted with his hands in his pockets trying to stop himself from touching her.

Her hands moved to the button on her slacks and he could feel his erection straining in his pants when the bare skin of her long legs was revealed. She was standing in front of him in just a black panties and black bra watching him stare at her. She couldn't tell what he was thinking and he was quiet for so long before he finally spoke. "You are so fucking gorgeous Liv."

She blushed at the compliment and reached around to unclasp her bra but he stopped her. "No don't. Please."

She was confused for a minute until he moved close to her and whispered in her ear. "I'm barely hanging on and I don't want to take you against this wall," he explained and took her hand walking her to the bedroom.

"You're a little overdressed aren't you?" she pointed out. He took off his shoes and widened his stance still staring at her. He sucked in his bottom lip and she began to take off her bra again and he took off his shirt. He was trying to control himself and given her revelation to him earlier that night he wanted to take it slow. She deserved some kind of foreplay and for him to take his time and worship her beautiful body but once her breasts came into view he was lost. Within seconds he closed the distance between them kissing her hard while pulling her underwear down.

"El," she cried out between kisses. He sat her on the edge of the bed, got on his knees and before she could protest his tongue was penetrating her folds.

"El-wait," she whimpered. She wanted to feel him inside her. To hell with the foreplay, she had been dreaming about him, wanting him since their last escapade at work.

Elliot was relentless as his mouth worked her. His forearm stretched across her stomach holding her down while his tongue flicked against her nub. She was close and felt herself about to climax. Her hand grasped his head while he brought her over the edge. "Shit." He licked and kissed his way up her body and when he stood up she saw he was already naked. She slid back against the headboard, Elliot crawling over her at the same time. He settled himself between her legs and sucked on her neck down to her breasts. She was more than ready and nudged forward trying to urge him inside. He crashed his lips to hers in response and she could taste herself on his mouth. She moaned at how erotic it was and felt him start to penetrate.

"Unhhhh," she cried out and he buried himself completely inside her holding still for a moment giving her a chance to adjust. He started to move, all of his feelings for her manifested in each stroke. He loved her and she loved him. He had never felt so connected to another person in his life. He wanted them. He wanted this no matter what red tape they would have to craw through at work or in his personal life.

He wanted her.

He could feel that familiar burn in his belly and lifted her legs to his shoulder. The angle allowed him to go even deeper and she cried out again.

"That's it baby. Let me hear you."

She dug her fingernails into his waist as he continued to thrust inside of her and with two more strokes she tumbled over the edge and he followed right behind her. Her legs fell from his shoulders and he laid on her chest still nestled between her legs. He listened as her heart pounded and she brushed her hand back and forth in his hair.

"Thank you for dessert," he joked and he felt her laugh vibrate through her body.

"You are welcome. I told you it would be better than what was at the restaurant."

He rubbed lazy circles around her nipple, his breathing almost back to normal. "Yeah this better not ever show up on the menu."

She laughed again and sighed contently.

"El?"

He looked up at her and she traced the lines on his face still amazed that he was here with her like this. "I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

They fell asleep shortly after making love with Elliot behind her and his arm draped possessively around her waist similar to how they laid in the cribs earlier that day. The phone started ringing, reluctantly dragging her from sleep. She woke up, her vision blurry and heard him breathing steadily behind her. She couldn't reach far enough to turn on her lamp so she just grabbed the phone and answered it, her eyes still closed.

"Benson," she rasped.

"Olivia?"

She immediately broke out of her sleepy haze and her eyes went wide. She couldn't speak.

"Can I speak to Elliot please?"

"Uhh yeah sure."

She nudged him to wake up and shook him a few times. She never knew him to sleep so hard but they had both been so exhausted.

"Elliot here's the phone."

"Who is that?" he asked sleepily.

"It's Kathy."


	12. Chapter 12

Elliot sat in his car overlooking the house that he shared with his soon to be ex-wife of twenty years. All of the details were still the same. There was still the oversized porch that creaked slightly when you walked on it, the same shrubbery out front and the screen door that he had to repair on more than one occasion from the twins hitting it with footballs, soccer balls and anything else they were playing with. One thing that was different about the house was the lack of anger and resentment that filled the atmosphere during those last few years of their marriage. He's sure it seemed silly that the exterior of a house could look different based on the changing dynamic of the interior but he swears it seems brighter and more lively than it did when he lived there.

He was twenty minutes early to pick up Elizabeth for school. Kathy called him last night to tell him that Dickie was running a high fever and she wouldn't be able to take their daughter to school. She apologized for calling so late but had to catch him before this morning and knew that he kept late hours because of work anyway. He caught the thin edge in her voice, a result of Olivia picking up his phone at nearly midnight but she didn't say anything. He didn't think she would. Not last night when Olivia was just a few inches away from him. However, he was fully prepared for whatever she had to launch at him this morning. He expected that this would happen at some point anyway he was just hoping it would be more on his terms.

When he hung up the phone with her after a short two-minute conversation where he asked the specifics about Dickie's illness and verified the time to show up, he noticed that Olivia had tensed and once again retreated to the bathroom. Thankfully she returned as soon as he hung up, apologized for picking up his phone by accident and got back in the bed. He assured her that it wasn't a problem and he had nothing to hide from his ex. She was a little apprehensive at first but soon turned in to him falling asleep on his chest. He held her throughout the night and when he woke up this morning he was surprised to find her already awake still in his arms. She had faith that he had his personal situation with Kathy and the kids under control and as he ascended the steps to his former home he set out to make sure that was the case.

Kathy answered the door after his second round of knocks. Her hair was a little messy and she had on her robe. "Hey you're early. Come in."

He stepped inside holding the bag from the drug store. "Well I bought some supplies for Dickie. Some cough medicine, nasal spray, tea and some tissues."

She looked at him for a split second like he was a stranger, smirked and then politely took the bag from his hand. "Thank you. This actually keeps me from having to leave out to go to the store." It's not that Elliot wouldn't have gone to the store and done these things when they were married but she would've had to tell him. He's suddenly thoughtful and considerate and she didn't know whether to be happy that he's so helpful to her now or a little bothered by the fact that he waited until their divorce was almost final to decide to do the things she had been complaining about for years.

He followed her into the kitchen, his hands in his pockets awkwardly trying to determine how to approach the subject of the phone call last night.

"So…last night when you called," he began and she looked up from the sink eyeing him knowingly.

"Yes last night when I called and Olivia answered," she finished.

He took his hands out of his pockets and placed them on the kitchen island bracing himself for whatever reaction he was going to get. "Yes she didn't mean to but it was late and-" he stopped suddenly realizing that despite everything they had gone through, the kids and marriage, they were getting a divorce and he didn't owe her that level of explanation. "Anyway regardless of why, it was an accident but Olivia _is_ in my life now."

She took a deep breath and set down the cup she was rinsing out. "Well I gathered that from the fact that you guys were together at midnight and obviously not at the precinct."

He nodded acknowledging her comment waiting for what else she had to say. He didn't have to wait long.

"How long?"

It was a fair question and one that he should've volunteered when he started but he was uneasy.

"It's only been a few weeks," he explained. She folded her arms and sized him up as if she was trying to determine if she believed him or not.

"Regardless of what suspicions you had in the past, I have never cheated on you Kathy. I wouldn't do that. Olivia wouldn't do that. We've been separated over a year, our divorce is almost final."

"A week," she interrupted him. "It will be final in about week or so. I talked to the lawyer yesterday. That's what else I wanted to tell you."

"Ok. Thanks for letting me know."

When she continued to just stand and look at him he continued with his explanation. "I plan to tell the kids soon. I think Maureen and Kathleen already have their suspicions."

"They do," she interrupted again. "They told me about it a few days ago. Wanted to make sure I was ok with it."

"And are you?"

"Would it matter if I wasn't?"

He let out a heavy sigh. He didn't want to do this with her but he expected a fight. Kathy had long had her suspicions about him and Olivia and he was sure that their dating now was just a confirmation of that.

"It would bother me if you weren't ok with it for the kids sakes but would it stop me from dating Olivia? I think you already know the answer to that," he said firmly.

She took a deep breath and tapped her fingers apprehensively on the counter. "I know you wouldn't cheat on me Elliot but all those times I accused you of there being something more between the two of you and you denied it."

"I didn't realize it Kathy. I didn't know it was happening between us until much later," he defended himself.

She sighed and held her hands to her head as if she was trying to reign in her temper.

"Whatever you want to say, just say it," he assured her.

She sighed again. "How could you not see it? I told you. It was so damn obvious. You aren't that naïve Elliot."

He put his hands in his pocket and rocked on his heels choosing his words carefully. "I knew something was…different. I knew stuff was there but I didn't want to think about it because I swear I didn't want to do or say anything that would compromise our marriage. I just pushed it all away."

She put her hand on her hip and looked down at the counter. "Sometimes I wish—I wish."

"What?"

"I wish you would've just put us all out of our misery," she whispered.

He was ready to strike back and refute what she said but she was right. He couldn't imagine how hard it must've been for her to send him off to work everyday knowing that there was something brewing between him and Olivia.

"I wish I would've handled things differently," he partly agreed. "But here we are."

"Yes. Here we are," she said simply. "Just let me know when you are going to tell the kids so I can be prepared."

"How do you think they will take it?"

"Well the older ones are fine with Dickie and Liz it could go either way. They like Olivia though so she probably stands a better chance than anyone else you would try to introduce them to." There was a bit of a smile in her eyes and he smiled back. It wasn't perfect but it was a step in the right direction. They were officially moving on. He appreciated the time he had with Kathy and would always love her for being the mother of his children but he was ready to start his life with Olivia.

"Dad I'm ready," Liz announced coming around the corner with her booksack. She grabbed her lunch from her mom, kissed her on the cheek and grabbed a juice from the fridge. Elliot looked in on Dickie real quick who was still sleeping and he and Liz were on their way out the door before Kathy stopped him. "I really am happy for you Elliot. You seem happier and the kids notice it too. That's good for everyone."

He gave her a kiss on the cheek sincerely moved by her words. He walked down the stairs and got into the car breathing a sigh of relief before he started the engine. He had one hurdle down. Now he had one more. Work.

XXXXX

Elliot seemed to have a weight lifted off him after the conversation with Kathy. Olivia walked on eggshells around him when he came into work that morning after dropping off Liz only to find out that everything was settled. When he walked in, he was in a decent mood and asked her to talk in the locker room. He gave her a chaste kiss and told her he talked to Kathy and everything went fine. He didn't give details and she didn't want them but he told her he planned to talk to the kids soon. She was nervous about all the changes going on in their lives but every moment with him made her realize it was all worth it.

They settled into a nice rhythm at work and over the next two weeks they managed to behave themselves and didn't seem to arouse any suspicion. The trial for Brandon Lee Redding was coming up for the school shooting and Olivia was prepping for a trial on another case too. They were keeping long hours but managed to still find time for each other.

"What are you doing?" she giggled when Elliot pulled her into a small hallway by the interrogation room. It had become one of their places to steal some time away because it had little to no foot traffic.

"I'm getting ready to head to court and just wanted to give you a kiss real quick," he explained pressing his lips to hers. "Are you sure you don't want to come with me?"

"Well I never have any trouble _coming_ with you?" she joked and pulled him towards her with his tie placing a soft kiss just beneath his ear lobe. "But honestly I'm swamped this morning and unlike you, I have a ton of paperwork for the Welsh case."

"Ok fine. I'll head out. See you this afternoon," he pouted. "I love you."

She smiled and let his words wash over her like it did every time he said it. "I love you too. I'll make it up to you and make dinner for you later tonight. How does that sound?"

"I thought you were trying to make it up to me not kill me," he teased.

"Funny. And for that you won't get dessert," she whispered while they walked back to their desks.

Munch grabbed his jacket and she sat down at her desk. "Hey Elliot you ready for court?"

"Lets do it."

He winked at her when he walked out and she covered up the smile on her face by drinking from her cup of coffee. She was working for a few hours when she felt a presence near her.

Kathy was standing in front of Elliot's desk with an envelope in her hand staring. Olivia had no clue how long she had been standing there when their eyes met. It was a few seconds but it felt longer and for all of her years of training at reading the body language of perps she had no idea how to read the body language of her lover's ex wife. Her soft blue eyes were neutral and she stood more confident than she had ever seen her before. She wanted to open her mouth and say something but couldn't get the words to form.

Fin saw their stand off and cleared his throat. "Hey Kathy, Elliot is actually in court."

"Oh. I guess I should've called first." She looked between Fin and Olivia and stalled on what she wanted to say next. "Well I have something for him that I wanted to deliver in person but I guess maybe I can give it to you," she told Olivia.

Fin walked away and Kathy talked lower as she approached Olivia's desk. "These are our finalized divorce papers." Kathy set the envelope in her hand. "I guess it's time for us all to move on."

Olivia ran her hand across the flap of the envelope and Kathy stood near the edge of her desk waiting for her to speak. When Olivia said nothing, she turned on her heel to walk out but Olivia quickly stopped her putting her hands on her arm to get her attention.

Once again she was at a loss for words. She knew what she wanted to say but there was no way to say it without making matters worse.

 _I'm sorry that your marriage is over and for causing you any pain but I'm not sorry for loving him._

She decided to go the safe route. "Thank you…for being so considerate about…everything."

Kathy nodded her understanding. "Like I said. It's time for us all to move on."

With that she was gone. Olivia sat back in her chair replaying the scene in her mind. She was looking for any sign that she really wasn't ok with everything that was going on with her and Elliot but she saw it in her eyes that Kathy had really let go.

 _It's time for us all to move on._

The words played over and over in her head. She smiled and let the happiness dissolve into her veins. Her and Elliot were going to be together and if Kathy was on board she had more certainty that the kids would be too. Work was still something they had to muddle through and thankfully despite their carelessness at times they managed not to be caught. She was working on her paperwork again a little longer and thinking through what she would make for Elliot for dinner when her phone rang. It was Casey.

She smiled prepared for her nosey friend to bombard her with all kinds of questions during what she assumed was a court recess. "Benson."

"Olivia there was a shooting during the hearing. Elliot and John were shot. He's—"

Her mind went blank. She didn't hear any of the details that Casey provided just the jumbled voices in the background and sirens in the distance.

"Where is he?" she asked stoically.

"He's at Bellevue. He's—"

She hung up the phone and began to gather her belongings.

Fin ran up to her hanging up his phone. "Did you hear?"

"Yeah." He watched her for a moment a little concerned about how stoic she was.

"I'll drive you there come on."

XXXX

When the elevators opened on the hospital floor, Olivia was still in a daze. Fin talked to Cragen on the ride to the hospital and he assured them both that Elliot and John had minor injuries and were fine. Fin decided to stop on the way and get John's favorite milkshake to smuggle in for him while Olivia tried hard to not be frantic and rush him. She needed to be by his side.

"Hey I'm going to check on John," Fin said walking towards his room. He stopped and touched her arm while she stared into the room the nurses told her was Elliot's. "Hey you ok?"

"Yeah." She forced a smile. "I'm fine."

"He's going to be ok."

She nodded her head and bit her lip to try to stop the tears from flowing. Her reaction was out of character and she worried that she was giving everything about their relationship away. She gave him a pat on his arm to assure him and he walked to John's room.

She walked into the room and saw that he was sleeping. She slowly approached the bed and saw that although he was hooked up to an IV, there weren't any other machines in the room and his arm was wrapped up. She watched him breathe in and out softly and put her hand gently on his cast. She exhaled and closed her eyes trying to calm herself. She was so worked up and she willed herself to pull it together. This was a part of their job, there was always the chance that he could be hurt but the stakes were higher now.

This was different.

They were different.

"Hey," he rasped in a groggy voice snapping her out of her thoughts.

She ran her hands through the stubble on his cheek. "Hey. How are you feeling?"

"Like I just got shot," he teased. He hoped it would bring a smile to her face but she looked worried and continued to rub his cast. "Liv," he took her hand in his. "I'm okay I promise."

He didn't bother to tell her that he could've been killed if it wasn't for the undercover FBI agent that killed Kyle Ackerman before he got another shot off.

He pulled her close to him wrapping his right arm around her waist. "And John is ok. He got shot in the ass though. At least my ass is safe considering how much you like it."

That successfully got a laugh from her. "There you go. It's ok. I talked to the doctor and they are letting me go first thing in the morning. They are only keeping me for observation."

She held him close for a few more moments keeping her eyes on the door before walking to close the curtain to make sure that no one saw how they were interacting.

"Do you want me to call Kathy?" she asked out of habit. She moreso wanted the kids to know so they could visit him.

"No."

"El, don't be like th—"

He put his good hand up to stop her. "No Liv. We are getting divorced. I have the person here that should be here."

"You are divorced."

"What do you mean?" he asked confused.

"Kathy came by the station today to drop off the final papers she got from her attorney. You are officially divorced," she announced and waited for his reaction.

He moved over in his bed to allow her room to sit on the edge next to him. "How did that go? She gave the papers to you?"

She sat down carefully leaning into him and he drew light caresses on her back. "Yeah. I thought it was a little odd but I guess it was either me or Fin so…"

He listened intently and allowed her to go on. "I think she was probably sending me a message."

"And what was that?"

"She told me it was time for all of us to move on."

He reached up running his hand through her hair and grabbed her hand and kissed it. "She's right. I couldn't have said it better myself. It's hard to think of a twenty year marriage ending and I don't know that I won't ever stop feeling like I failed but she's right."

Olivia put her hand over his and sighed contently.

"So you guys didn't get into a mud wrestling match over me?" he joked and she laughed again.

"You really are an asshole you know that?"

"It made you smile though didn't it?"

"Yeah," she said sadly. "I was scared El." Her voice was full of unshed tears and he put his lips to her forehead.

"I told you I'm not going anywhere. I promise. You are stuck with me." She lay across him as best she could without disturbing his cast and not putting all of her weight on him. He held her tight and kissed her hair.

"So speaking of being stuck with me. I'm injured so I'm going to need you to take care of me."

She rolled her eyes and sat up shifting her weight to her elbow. "Oh really? And what does that involve?"

"Well I'm going to have to come to your house because I can't be on my own and I'm going to need you to coo—I mean order me takeout."

She slapped him on the chest.

"Ouch."

"Keep up the jokes about my cooking and you are going to be happy you are already in a hospital."

He took a piece of her hair and twirled it in his hand while she watched him closely. She had no idea how close she was to losing him but she was thankful to be there with him quietly in the moment, enjoying his company.

"So what else am I going to have to do?" she indulged him.

"Well the nurses said I can't take showers so I'm going to need you to give me a bath every night. I like my water a certain temperature, not too hot, not too cold but don't worry I'll walk you through that."

"You must be on some really strong meds," she joked. "Now why would I be doing all this?"

"Because. You are my woman and that's what a woman does for her man," he explained in his best Neanderthal sounding voice.

"Your woman hunh? Would you mind stepping into this century please?" she laughed and laid her head next to his.

"I'm serious. My divorce is final so I want us to be official or whatever that is. How do you do this?" he asked and she laughed at him.

"Oh El. You really are rusty at this whole dating thing." She got up took off her jacket and boots and got comfortable. He breathed a sigh of relief that she was staying with him and that Kathy showing up to the precinct hadn't scared her off.

"Well why don't you educate me Miss Benson on how it all works. Last time I asked someone to be my girlfriend I slid her a note in math class."

She got back on the bed and settled in. "I don't know I think I'm a little old to be considered your girlfriend."

"Well I don't know what you call it as long as it's understood that it's you and me. Together." He lifted his head to meet her eyes. "Ok?"

"Ok." She kissed him on the lips to seal the deal. "So what do we do about work?"

He exhaled and thought carefully. The truth is he had no idea what to do about them and work. He didn't want to partner with anyone else but he knew if they came clean there was a good chance Cragen would split them up.

"Can we shelve that one until I'm all healed?"

"Absolutely," she agreed.

"So," he said pressing the button to push his bed back so they could get more comfortable. "We have my bath covered, staying at your place for a few days, my meals covered and what else? Oh yeah. You have to perform all of these duties naked."

She giggled. "Oh really?"

"Yep," he said proudly. "Also, I hear that sex is a good alternative to pain medication."

"So let me get this straight. You can't feed yourself, bathe yourself or be at your own place but you can have sex?"

He grinned mischievously. "Crazy how that works isn't it?"

"El. Go to sleep," she laughed and snuggled into him.

She thought he was dozing off when he was quiet but he started to stroke her arm slowly. "I love you so much Liv."

"I love you too." She kissed his chest. "Now seriously go to sleep."

XXXX

Olivia walked out of the room to get some coffee while the nurse changed Elliot's IV bag and took his vitals. She ran into Fin at the coffee station.

"Hey how's John?"

He shrugged. "Better now since I got him that milkshake but you know I can't let him live down that he was shot in the ass."

They both chuckled and she took a sip of her coffee.

"How's Elliot doing?"

She sighed and stirred the liquid around in the cup. "He's just fine. It really wasn't as bad as I thought. I was just freaking out over nothing I guess."

"I told you he was alright."

"Yeah you were right," she agreed and gave him a small smile.

He patted her on the back. "But I get it. It's different when you get the call about the one you love."

Her head shot up at his statement and he winked at her and walked away.

She exhaled deeply and rubbed her sleepy eyes.

He knew.

All of this time Fin knew which meant they were going to have to deal with the work situation sooner rather than later.

XXXXX

Author's Note: Thank you guys for the continued reviews. Glad to see you all are enjoying it. This one will wrap up in a few more chapters.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

 _The cases mentioned in this chapter are 7x07 'Name' and 7x08 'Starved'_

Olivia worked her next case with the help of Fin and Munch while Elliot was out due to his elbow injury. She was primarily partnered with a CSU Technician Millie Vizcarrondo while they searched for the killers of four young Puerto Rican boys.

She tiptoed around Fin ,who helped on the case as well, looking for any signs that he would treat her differently but Fin was Fin. A usual poker face. She worked the case during the day and came home to a recovering Elliot at night.

He was staying at her place as they discussed and although he wouldn't admit it she knew he was bored to death while she was at work and he was there alone. He sent her random texts during the day. Some of them made her laugh. Some of them turned her on.

All of them made her miss him.

On her first night returning home from work Elliot decided to test his boundaries by insisting on the sponge bath he joked with her about at the hospital.

"I prefer my water at room temperature. It's good for the skin," he teased and she rolled her eyes splashing him with water. When he splashed her back effectively soaking her entire outfit, she did an impromptu striptease ending up in only her bra and panties. He was clearly pleased with what he saw, his arousal evident in the water.

"Oh no. You're hurt remember. Don't touch," she told him playfully slapping his hand away.

She leaned over the edge of the tub and began to bathe him again, slowly moving the wet washcloth across his taut chest and stomach.

He liked the idea of her taking care of him and more than anything he just enjoyed spending the time with her free of any distractions.

The mood quickly shifted, him opting to listen about her day and the case. She helped him out of the tub and dried him off catching a glimpse of their reflection in her vanity mirror. They were laughing about some silly comment he made and her thoughts drifted to how they looked like two different people now. The worry lines that shrouded them little by little over the years were smoothed over by a cloak of contentment.

She wondered if this is was what their life would be like long term if they decided to be together romantically and end their partnership, having lazy evenings at home talking about work and enjoying each other's company. She had worked with different people throughout the years on a case or two but coming back to Elliot was always like coming back home.

"Hey, where did you go?" he asked getting her attention.

"Nothing. Sorry," she lied and continued to dry off his back. He watched her through the mirror but decided not to pry when it was clear she wasn't ready to talk. A plus of knowing her now both inside and out.

She was able to pull herself together for the rest of the evening and the evenings after. By the fifth night when her case was over she found herself looking forward to getting off work and the promise of what was at home waiting for her. She saw Fin give her the side eye and smirk when she waltzed out of the precinct at 5pm sharp opting to do her paperwork at home. She walked into her apartment to the smell of Thai food takeout and him bumbling around the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" she giggled. She sat her gun and badge down on the hall table and greeted him with a kiss to the cheek and lips.

His hand was out of the sling and he was maneuvering well with just the cast on his arm. "What does it look like I'm doing? I was attempting to surprise you. I didn't expect you to be home so early."

She helped him hold one of the plates that he was in the process of bringing to the living room. "I told you I would try to be home at a decent time."

"A decent time for you is 7," he looked at his watch, "not 5:30."

She pulled him down on the sofa and laid in his lap. "I just felt like being home."

Elliot couldn't quite place her mood and neither could she. She suddenly longed for still and silence when she once craved noise and movement. "You have candles too?" she laughed picking them up off the floor where they rolled off her small wooden coffee table.

"I do. They were under the sink. If you have a power outage soon you will be out of luck."

"Elliot Stabler a closet romantic," she sat up and rested her head on his shoulder. "Wait until the ladies at the precinct hear about this."

He was embarrassed for a fraction of a second but quickly bounced back. "You are only harming yourself Olivia. If you think they wanted me before just imagine how it will be after you tell them that I am a romantic stud."

She laughed loud and cathartically, the sound a joyful melody that Elliot never understood until recently how much he needed. Her apartment buzzer sounded and he hopped off the couch to answer it. Within a few minutes, dessert had been delivered and Elliot was in the kitchen grabbing plates for their dinner and putting the cheesecake in the fridge.

"What made you decide to do all this?" she asked stepping out of his way to let him move around in her kitchen that was a little tight for two people.

"Because I want to thank you for taking care of me. I know I've been giving you a hard time but I really do appreciate it." He was being as sincere as she'd ever seen him but the truth was it wasn't hard for her at all.

Elliot being at her place was something she didn't realize she wanted and craved as much as she did. "You don't have to thank me. I like having you here."

They settled in the living room, opening containers and she helped him put the food on to the plates. He lit the candles and she poured the wine. "So are you ready to get back to work?"

"I think you already know the answer to that," he replied and took a sip of wine. "I'm starting to get burned out on soap operas and daytime talk shows."

She took off her shoes, pulling her feet underneath her and got more comfortable. "So when do you get that off?" she gestured towards the cast.

"First thing Monday morning on the way back to the office," he announced proudly.

"Good. I get my partner back."

"But for how long?" he murmured. "We are going to have to talk to Cragen."

It had been on his mind all week during his moments alone. All of the important relationships in his life were shifting. His wife was now his ex-wife, his partner was now his girlfriend and his children were somewhere in the middle.

"I thought you wanted to wait until you were healthy."

He held up his arm in the cast and waved it back and forth. "Monday Liv. The cast will be off Monday. So we need to talk about this."

She placed her food back on the table and rubbed her knees anxiously. "We've been partners for so long. I-it changes everything. It's not like if this doesn't work out we can go back to being partners."

"I know," he put his food on the table and turned to face her. "Do you think it's worth it?"

She exhaled and thought carefully about her words. It was worth it. Being with him was worth everything but her partnership with Elliot was the longest relationship she'd ever had with a man. He was solid and consistent when no one else was.

"Of course it is." She caresssed his leg and leaned in kissing him tenderly. She lay on his shoulder and they didn't speak for a few minutes, each thinking about their decision.

"I almost forgot," he stood up and walked to her bookcase. He placed the needle on the record player and the soft jazz music filled the room. "One of my dad's records I told you about."

Olivia smiled, the tension leaving her body and she began to eat again. "It sounds wonderful. It's so soothing."

"Yeah Maureen and Kathleen brought some of the records by earlier."

And the tension was back.

Her fork stilled on her plate and her breath caught in her throat.

"Liv you ok?"

She quickly reached for her wine glass and drained the rest of the red liquid. "Yeah I'm fine."

"I can tell," he smirked expecting her reaction. "The girls came by earlier today because I told them I got shot and they wanted to make sure I was alright. They brought me some more clothes and stuff from my apartment."

Her mind was reeling. She knew the kids were aware they were dating but to see him shacked up at her place seemed a bit much. She cleared her throat and straightened up amidst his stares.

He blew out a breath. "They are fine with this Liv. I told you that."

"I know," she nodded unconvincingly.

"So much so in fact they invited us both out for pizza Sunday. It's a quiet little parlor in Queens that we go to all the time."

She scoffed once again ignoring her food. "We. We as in you and Kathy? I don't think it's a good idea to take me to a place that you and your ex-wife went to eat wkith your children as a family," she said not waiting for him to answer. "That's a little awkward don't you think?"

"Are you done?" He tried to keep the annoyance out of his voice.

"Yeah."

"Kathy had the kids all the time during the week and there were rare times when I had time with them alone even when we were married," he explained. "One time a few years ago before we were separated I missed one Kathleen's recital and she was pissed and wouldn't talked to me. It was late and I gathered up all the kids and took them to the first pizza parlor I found. Thankfully it was a good one. I have been going there with them ever since. It's been our thing. Me and the kids. Not Kathy."

Shit. She closed her eyes silently cursing herself for jumping to conclusions. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize."

He smirked at her and lifted his eyebrow. "Luckily for you I am used to your assumptions. Your wrong assumptions."

"Don't get beside yourself," she countered. She was out of her league with this and she was thankful that the son of a bitch she had for a partner seemed to be taking a vacation while they were navigating through this new found romantic relationship.

He sat back down next to her on her left side so he could use his good hand to wrap around her. She leaned into his shoulder. "I told you I'm no good at this."

"I'm the one that just got divorced remember? I'm not the best at relationships either," he reminded her.

"Oh yeah that's right. You do suck," she teased.

He smiled and continued. "I know it's a lot. All of this," he gestured between the two of them, "but I'm really trying to make sure things stay good with my kids so I don't want to keep anything from them. If it's too much-"

"No no," she interrupted him. "Hanging out with your kids is not too much I'm just nervous I guess."

"Ok how about this? I've got a compromise." She looked up at him intrigued. "We spend some time with the kids and them getting used to us as a couple but we hold off longer on telling Cragen. That way it's not too much at once. How does that sound?"

She sat up really considering his idea. It made sense. It was a way to make sure that not too much was changing too fast and it kept him as her partner for longer, which she wanted more than anything. They would just have to be really careful and other than the Fin situation they kept everything under wraps so far.

"I like that idea," she kissed him. "Of course you know this means no more shower sex, no more file room kisses, no seductive glances across the desk or smart comments."

He pressed his forehead against hers. "You know I'm not the only guilty one of all that. I see you checking out my ass all the time."

She laughed softly and kissed him again. "Well we don't want to change things up too much. What do you think Cragen will do if he found out? We're always in trouble as it is."

He chuckled at the accuracy of the statement. "This is true. But we can hide our feelings, look how long we've done it before."

"You have a good point."

He leaned in whispering in her ear. "That's not all I have that's good."

She broke out in a fit of laughter and slapped his arm. "Are you finally willing to give in and admit that you don't need me as your nurse maid anymore?"

"Nope," he pulled back from her ear and drank some more of his wine. He listened to the music while she laid back on his shoulder. "So do we have a deal?"

"Deal."

They were taking a chance not telling Cragen and there could be severe consequences but Elliot was convinced that if there was anyone worth taking a chance on, it was Olivia Benson.

* * *

The pizza date with the kids went well and although Liz and Dick were a little quiet in the beginning by the time the food arrived they opened up and were talking normally. It was a fresh start they all needed and he could sense her relief that everything went well. The next day, Elliot was as good as new and back to work. It had only been a couple of days since his return when they were woken up in the middle of the night at Elliot's place with a rape downtown.

They arrived to the scene as paramedics were wheeling Janice Clay out of her apartment building. They were firing off questions as quick as they could before she was taken to the hospital.

"What about a scent? Like Aftershave or cologne?" Olivia asked while she was being lifted into the back of the ambulance.

"I thought I smelled baby powder."

"Did he say anything to you Janice?" Elliot asked.

"Obey me or die."

They exchanged knowing glances. This perp had struck before. Olivia rolled her eyes and turned towards Elliot. "Third attack this month."

"So far."

Along with Munch and Fin they spent the next few hours interviewing all of the victims and trying to find a link between them. They finally determined it was speed dating, a topic that Munch surprisingly knew a lot about.

"You meet ten women for three minutes each, first names only. You write down the ones you like if the feeling is mutual the organizer emails you both." Munch went on to explain that there were separate types of events to appeal to specific audiences which Cragen noted allowed the perp to zero in on his target of successful women over thirty. They needed someone who fit that profile to go undercover at one of the events and try to lure the perp.

"Let's check with Vice and see if they have any undercover officers we can use," Elliot offered walking to his desk to pick up the phone.

"No need," Cragen interrupted. "We can just use Olivia."

Her eyes shot up from the paperwork she was reading and Elliot set the phone back down on the receiver.

"Yeah we can just use Olivia," Fin repeated with a smirk and Elliot gave him a brief but furious glance.

"Of course," he shrugged and turned towards her. "That ok with you?"

She smiled nervously and stood up from her desk. "Sure why not. When is it?"

"The guy from Speed Encounters just called a few minutes ago. Romeo signed up for tonight's event."

She rolled her eyes. "He's looking for a new Juliet."

Elliot scratched his head trying to fend off any obvious signs of discomfort. "Ok where is it?"

"It's at Nick's Martini Bar and Lounge on Bowery Avenue," Cragen handed Olivia the address. Elliot avoided the topic for the rest of the day even though he caught her sideways glances at him. They kept quiet and talked around it, a skill they perfected over their partnership. She went to the speed-dating event while Elliot stayed outside in the car listening intently through a wire. She met someone who fit the profile and she figured may be their perp. Now she had to just wait and hope they were a match so she could get a one on one date.

"Any word?" he asked trying to sound nonchalant.

"Not yet."

"Maybe you're not his type," he tried to convince himself. He knew there were very few men that Olivia wouldn't be their type.

"Oh no he was interested," she turned toward him giving him a flirtatious look. "I could feel it..you know?"

Damn.

He nodded and walked back to his desk. They had gone undercover plenty of times before and Elliot tried not to let it bother him but he couldn't help the lump in his throat at the thought of dangling her as bait for a serial rapist. Olivia could handle herself. That wasn't the issue. It never was. But he couldn't handle the thought of something happening to her.

Not now.

Not ever.

A part of him hoped Romeo wouldn't pick her as a match even though it meant he could hurt someone else. It was irrational, emotional and illogical but he's never professed to be anything but when it came to her. Now that they were together that feeling of possession and fierce protectiveness was almost destructive.

"You think he's our perp?"

She folded her arms and thought it over. "I couldn't get a read on him. Normally I need two minutes in the box with a guy to know if he's guilty but—"

Olivia's email dinged.

"Email?"

He was hoping he was lucky enough that she wouldn't be a match and they would have to send in someone else.

"I've got a match," she announced. "He wants to buy Rachel a drink."

Then again luck was never really on his side.

* * *

Olivia was in the shower preparing for the "date" but she could hear Elliot wearing a hole in her floor pacing back and forth down her small hallway discussing the details of tonights operation with Cragen and Fin. She was out of the shower only a few minutes and beginning to fix her hair when she heard a soft knock. "You can come in Elliot."

He opened the door and leaned against the frame watching her continue to get ready with a timid smirk on his face. She still had her towel wrapped around her, leaving her panties, bra and dress she intended to wear draped across her bed. After a few moments of watching her put on her makeup, he walked over and sat on the closed toilet seat.

She noticed his hands brushing back and forth on his knees nervously and decided to break the silence. "What's on your mind Stabler?"

"Nothing."

She turned on her flat iron and leaned against the sink with her arms folded. "Let me guess. You don't want me to go on the date."

"Why does it have to be you?" he asked irritated.

"Why not me? It's always been me when we do missions like this."

He lifted his eyes to hers hoping she could read the reason on his face and he wouldn't have to say it. It went against everything they discussed and agreed to and he was prayed this wouldn't lead to an argument. The last thing he wanted was for her to be off her game while she was about to go undercover.

She sighed and clasped her hands in front of her trying to show a less defensive posture. "I know that things are different now but we agreed at work that we wouldn't change anything or we can't be partners anymore."

"I know," he put his hands up to stop her from continuing. "I know I'm going to reign it in I promise. I don't want to give up our partnership….yet." He gave her a seductive smile and his eyes fell upon her towel where it bunched near her breasts before meeting her gaze again. "But I am looking forward to the day it does end because it means—"

"I know what it means," she smiled moving back towards the door feeling his stare become more and more predatory. He reached for her towel and she shuffled into the bedroom holding her hands up. "No El. I have to be at the lounge in 45 minutes and you are just going to make me late."

He pulled her into his arms, inhaling the scent of vanilla and jasmine from her body wash and peppering kisses along her bare shoulder.

"I still have to do my hair," she weakly protested.

She felt him smile into her neck. "It looks just fine to me. Wear it like this."

"Oh yeah. Bunched up in a plastic clip," she slapped his back to get him off of her. "That will go great with my—," She stopped mid sentence to see her dress and underwear she previously picked out were no longer on the bed.

"What is this?"

Elliot shrugged his shoulders naively while she looked over the neon pink sports bra, the one pair of granny panties she owned and a dress that could be described as nothing short of a ballgown that draped the floor. He was kind enough to pull one of her brown leather jackets from the closet to go over it and she held it up in disbelief.

"See that goes with the gown," he tried to explain holding the dress up for her and managed to hold a straight face.

She took a deep breath and tried to be upset but all she could do was smile at the harmless innocent face he was giving her topped off with those baby blue eyes.

"So I take it you never dressed your daughters," she walked back over to her dresser and tried to find the original strapless black bra and panties she set out before.

He watched her in satisfaction knowing she wouldn't find them because they were hidden under her pillow.

"I don't have time for this Elliot," she sighed in frustration pulling out each of her drawers. "Where are my clothes?" She stomped towards her closet and he grabbed her arm and stopped her.

"I'm just worried about you Liv. That's all."

She wrapped her arms around his waist, her right hand gently caressing his back. "I'm going to be fine. You will be right there watching my back as always," she tried to rationalize. "This guy sneaks into apartments to rape, he's not going to try anything in the middle of a crowded lounge. It's fine. Ok?"

"Ok." He agreed reluctantly. "Please don't be mad at me for caring Liv. I can't help it."

"I wouldn't want you to."

This was who he was. This was why despite years of putting up walls and denying something that was always there, she fell in love with him. Deeply and completely.

She kissed him quickly on the lips. "Now where are my clothes?"

"I will give them to you on one condition."

She lifted her eyebrow. "And what's that?"

He didn't speak but his eyes said everything she needed to know. Her gaze never left his as she dropped the towel to the floor. He drank in her naked form and the moment before her lips touched his he thought maybe he did have luck on his side sometimes after all.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

 _Episodes featured in this chapter: 7x10_ _'_ _Storm'_ _and 7x14_ _'_ _Taboo'_

Elliot sat at his desk grasping the newspaper trying to control the anger that was dwelling inside him. When Olivia told him the night before she wanted to go back to her place and needed time alone he didn't fight her on it. Being shut down by the Feds over the anthrax scare and not knowing where Tasha and her sister were had clearly taken a toll on her. She needed space after some cases and he respected that.

He figured she was at home nursing a glass of wine or had gone out for drinks with Casey. He never suspected she went to meet Jackson Zane, a reporter who had been giving them issues since the case had begun.

Olivia walked into the squad room a little later than normal as if nothing was wrong but he could sense that she was rattled. He wasted no time confronting her.

"What the hell were you thinking?" he hissed holding up the New York Ledger displaying the headline.

She shrugged and feigned indifference. "Nice picture."

"Why'd you give it to 'em?"

She took off her jacket and put it on the back of her chair still failing to make eye contact. "Who says I did?"

He scoffed. "Don't play games with me. Look the chief of D's is in there right now, the Feds are going nuts. They know someone from this squad leaked that photo to the Ledger."

She squared her shoulders and he knew she was lying before she even began to speak. "A lot of people had cameras in the park that day. Jackson Zane could've gotten that photo from anybody."

Cragen and the Chief finished their meeting and Olivia visibly shrank when she was summoned to Cragen's office. It was evident that he was furious with her and Elliot could relate. They were partners. She should've included him on whatever she was planning because he always backed her play. He couldn't fathom with all the progress they made in their relationship personally why she would shut him out but he decided to put that conversation on hold for now and concentrate on what was important.

She emerged from Cragen's office after a few minutes and looked visibly shaken.

"How bad?" he asked and she shrugged. "Look maybe it was worth it."

"How?"

"ACS just called," he rounded his desk and stood next to her. "Whatever you said spooked the Feds. They returned the girls."

She immediately perked up. "We gotta go talk to them."

He wasn't on board at first but it meant a lot to her and he understood the greater good. They talked to Nikki and found more information about the missing Anthrax. It led them to Michael Delpit, a lab tech from Louisiana, whom they arrested and taped the entire interrogation to turn over to Jackson. When he asked her why she was so hell bent on exposing the truth she gave him the same answer she gave Jackson.

 _"_ _The Feds are going to make Michael Delpit disappear. I don_ _'_ _t want the truth to vanish with him._ _"_

When she arrived home the next night he was at the door waiting for her.

"Why didn't you use your key?" Olivia asked cautiously approaching her door. She could feel the tension radiating from his body and he looked exhausted.

"You gave it to me for emergencies not to just let myself in."

She kissed him quickly on the lips and turned her key into the door. She stood back to let him in and removed her jacket, badge and gun. She sighed and promptly walked into the kitchen to pull out a bottle of wine and a glass.

"Do you want some?"

He sat down on the sofa reaching for her remote. "Ill take a beer if you have it?" He turned on the television just to have some noise fill the air instead of the anxiety that surrounded them. She had just come from seeing Jackson and he waited patiently to hear what happened that had her so desolate but the other side of him wanted to confront her about the whole situation. She handed him his beer and sat next to him, stopping just short of their hips touching.

When it was clear she wouldn't say anything he broke the silence. "What happened with Jackson?"

She drank slowly from her glass, hoping the wine would quickly seep into her veins and take the edge off. "He's going to stay in jail until he names a source," she stoically replied still reeling from the conversation. "He refuses to name me and told me never to visit him again."

He watched her drain the glass and balance her chin in her clasped hands. She stared at the TV not actually focusing on what was on but needing to distract herself.

"I'm sorry." It was all he could think of to say.

She walked back to the kitchen and began to pour herself another glass of wine. "Yeah," she sighed. "Me too."

Olivia shook her head searching for words while her mind was going a mile a minute. "I know we did the right thing but…," she shrugged her shoulders not knowing what to say or how to convey what she was feeling.

"But what?" he prompted.

She leaned against the counter, her weight on her elbows and fingers over her noise and part of her mouth. A gesture he got used to seeing over the years when she was deep in thought. "I never thought the cost would be this. He's going to stay in jail all because we wanted to stop some jerk from spreading Anthrax through the city possibly harming hundreds or thousands of people." Her voice was starting to escalate, the anger building in her all over again.

She scoffed and walked back to the living room, setting her wine glass on the table. "It's just like Alex said. Even when we win, we still lose," she paced back and forth. "Sometimes…." Her voice trailed off looking out in the distance. Her eyes settled on a picture of them that was on the end table next to her sofa temporarily easing her somber feelings.

"Sometimes what?" He was watching her closely looking for any sign that she was about to break down and followed her line of sight to the picture of them. She picked it up, still not answering his question, and rubbed her fingers along the glass of the frame.

"We were so young then," she said whimsically.

He stood behind her staring closely at the photo. It was during the first year of their partnership, her hair was in a bob and he had grown a goatee. They were much more carefree then, even Elliot although he had been in SVU for a few years.

"I can't believe I was that thin once," he joked. Him arm encircled her waist and his chin hooked over her shoulder.

She chuckled faintly. "I can't believe you had that hideous goatee."

He laughed and kissed her shoulder and in the crux of her neck, both of them swaying back and forth. Her left hand held his at her waist and she sighed heavily. "Everything seemed so different then."

"Not much was different," he replied and rested his head against hers. "You wanted me even back then."

She slapped his hand and laughed. This was what she needed. The ability to forget it all and get lost in the essence of them.

"I didn't want you. I hooked up with Cassidy remember?"

"Ugh," he scoffed and tried to let her go but she held him against her.

"I'm just kidding. You are so easy," she set the picture back down on the table and wrapped her arms around his. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For going to Jackson without you. I just didn't want you to get caught up in everything and I knew it was a big risk."

He kissed the back of her head and held her tighter. Relief flooded his body and he felt confident this wouldn't turn into a big argument.

"You should've included me. I'm your partner."

"I know," she turned around in his arms and faced him. "I didn't want you to get in trouble and I guess I'm trying to wean myself off and get used to dealing with things on my own."

He could get lost in her eyes and even though he wanted to be pissed, her beauty enchanted him. The real beauty of her wasn't exclusive to those deep brown eyes, her golden skin or curvaceous body. It lied in her need to do the right thing and get justice for everyone who couldn't fight for themselves at all costs.

Elliot put his hand under her chin and brought her eyes to his. "Even when we aren't partners anymore you will never ever have to deal with things on your own. Got it?"

"But—"

"No buts Liv. And I will keep repeating this until you understand," he held her close, her chests molded into his. "You will _never_ have to deal with things on your own."

She smiled into his neck and let the words wash over her. She was used to being a one woman show and doing everything on her own. The thought of having someone there for her in every aspect of her life would take some getting used to which is why she was thankful they made the decision to take their time.

"And what happens if I don't listen?" she asked harmlessly.

He stepped back from her, smirked and ran his fingers through her shoulder length hair. "Then there will be consequences."

She lifted her eyebrow seductively and leaned into his touch. "And what is that?"

"Are we here again?" he asked referencing their first day together when he threatened her with the same fate.

"Yes we are."

That time seemed so long ago and changed everything.

A few months later here they were.

Still together.

* * *

"You chose to give birth," Elliot stated matter of factly glaring at the red head college student across the room.

"You have the wrong person," she replied defensively.

He approached her, anger marking every stride and got right in her face. "You chose to walk the six blocks with him right past a firehouse, a hospital where under the safe haven laws you could've just left him anonymously," he shouted.

She still didn't flinch. "Why are you yelling at me?"

"Because you tossed him in the trash like the garbage you are. All those choices. How is that even an option?"

He waited a split second for her to have some kind of response or remorse.

Anything.

But he got nothing.

Olivia watched him, concerned when he started to get angry but as was her usual nature she didn't call him out on it in front of the suspect or anyone. The case had clearly affected him, as most cases involving children did.

Cragen called them out of interrogation and scolded Elliot for not being empathetic towards the suspect to gain her trust. She watched helplessly when he sat on the bench almost crawling out of his skin because of his level of frustration. It was his weekend with the kids and he was stuck at work. She spoke up telling the captain that DNA would close the book on the case anyway and Cragen let him leave.

By the time he pulled up to his former home he managed to take most of the edge off. He never wanted the kids to see him upset over a case and ask for details. Part of the reason his marriage didn't work was because he chose to keep the demons of his work away from his family and although it may have cost him his wife, it worked out well for his children. He had no intentions of changing that.

He took a deep breath, scrubbing his hands down his face and rung the doorbell. Dickie answered with his backpack in hand. "Come in dad. Lizzie is taking forever of course."

"Shut up," he heard his youngest daughter squeal from across the room. "I just have to finish putting my shoes in here."

Dickie rolled his eyes and grabbed his skateboard from next to the staircase. "We are going to be at dad's house for all of two days. How many pairs of shoes do you need? Jeez."

Kathy walked into the room at the tail end of their exchange aggravated at the constant arguing. He remembered how much it used to annoy her but on a day like today it made him forget and be grateful. This was when he enjoyed being a father most.

"I never understood how the constant arguing never drove you crazy," she commented watching him smirk at their children running back and forth through the living room.

"I know," he said simply. She would never understand and he didn't want her to.

"Tough case?" she asked already knowing the answer.

He sighed. "Yeah."

"Should I be on alert in case you called out?"

"Nahh," he waved his hand. "Liv's handling it."

Kathy leaned against the door, her right food anxiously bumping against her left. "So that means she won't be there this weekend then?"

He lifted his head up noticing the uneasy look on her face. "No she won't be. What's going on Kath?"

"I know that you guys have been spending time with the kids here and there together," she began.

"Kathy," he started and she put her hand up to stop him.

"It's fine. The kids are actually fine. Just if she's going to be spending the night while the kids are there, that's something I want to know. That's all."

He nodded his hand in acceptance. It was a reasonable request that even in his most asshole of moods he wouldn't have denied. "Absolutely and vice versa."

"Definitely."

They smiled at each other, an understanding of things moving in a better direction.

"Ok dad we are ready," Lizzie announced and he shook his head seeing the backpack and two small suitcases she had for the 48 hours at his place. They headed out and as they drove back into the city, he called and checked on Olivia to make sure she was okay.

* * *

Olivia and Casey strolled into the hospital full speed ahead trying to catch Everett Drake before he took custody of he and Ella Christiansen's baby. She couldn't get out of her mind how Ella didn't think twice about throwing away her children. It always amazed and saddened her how easily people took being a parent for granted.

"Will they charge her with murder?"

"Not while she's in psychiatric lockup," Casey gritted.

"And when she's released?"

"Well they might but I bet they come up with the same verdict in Jersey that they did here."

They walked into the room to see Everett holding the baby and Olivia took a deep breath trying to hold back her contempt. Casey handed the nurse an injunction barring him from taking custody and ordered him to hand Olivia the baby.

"It's going to be okay," she whispered to the baby boy. He was beautiful and perfect even though he was brought into the world under the ugliest of circumstances. "You're going to be ok."

She rocked him back and forth waiting on Children's Services to arrive and take custody and she wondered what would happen to him. Where he would end up. Casey observed her but didn't say a word and spoke with the social worker when she showed up. Olivia handed the baby over and they walked out to the parking lot.

"Wanna go grab an early dinner?" Casey offered.

Olivia looked at her watch. It was just a little after 5 and she wasn't supposed to meet Elliot at his place until after 7. "Sure I'll eat something light since Elliot and I are supposed to have dinner later."

At the small restaurant across the street from the hospital, Olivia played around with her appetizer shoving the food back and forth on her plate. Her mind was racing. Casey continued to watch her figuring what was wrong but wondering if she would say something first.

"So it's already 6 and we don't have much time so I'm not going to beat around the bush," Casey set down her fork and folded her arms. "Have you talked to Elliot about it yet?"

"About what?"

Casey gave her a knowing look, flipping her blonde hair behind her shoulder. "About if he wants to have more children."

* * *

Olivia walked up the stairs to Elliot's apartment, her talk with Casey fresh on her mind.

 _If he doesn_ _'_ _t want children you have to decide if it_ _'_ _s a dealbreaker._

 _You have to talk to him Liv before you end your partnership and continue with this relationship._

Casey was right. She had to talk to him and face the truth. The feelings of motherhood crept up in her several times since they had been dating. It was blossoming when Lauren Westley resorted to beating herself to self-abort her baby and grew when she helped Nathan Phelps escape a murder charge after watching his mother being killed. By the time she witnessed Elliot lean over the incubator of Ella's baby, placing his hand on his chest and welcoming him to the world, her heart had swelled beyond measure.

Him not wanting a child was a dealbreaker for her. She always wanted to be a mother even if her lifestyle didn't coincide with a traditional parent. Elliot had Kathy at home so he was able to be a parent with her at home to balance it out. They both had crazy hours and she just couldn't fathom how a baby would fit into the equation but stranger things had happened. Sometimes the stars aligned and things had a way of working out.

Like their relationship.

"Hey," he greeted her with a wide grin when he opened the door. "I missed you."

She fell into his arms and tried not to cry at the sheer comfort she felt from being in his embrace. "I missed you too."

"Come in."

She started to pull off her coat and stopped when she saw the cupcake spread on the counter. "You baked for me. You shouldn't have," she teased.

He chuckled and followed her into the kitchen. "I didn't. The twins have to bring something for some party at school. Kathy was out with a friend and I volunteered to do it."

She stopped in her tracks not believing what she was hearing. He realized how unbelievable it sounded. "I know I know. I may have had a little help from Kathleen and Maureen," he pulled the frosting from the cupboard. "You just missed them, they left about half an hour ago."

She took a beer from the fridge watching him open the frosting and pull some sprinkles from the cupboard. She couldn't help the smile that crept on her lips watching a big, alpha male like Elliot with cream cheese frosting in one hand and rainbow sprinkles in the other.

She set her beer on the counter and wrapped her hands around his waist from behind looking out into the living room at the fire going and the blankets still lying on the floor.

"How did everything go with Ella and Drake?" he asked picking up the first cupcake and getting to work.

She sighed not wanting to ruin the mood with talk of the case. "It's fine. The baby is with ACS, we turned the info about the other baby over to the Jersey DA and we are doing everything in our power to make sure he doesn't get custody of the baby."

"Good," he said simply. "Ella just-"

He didn't have to finish the sentence. "I know. She didn't give a damn about those kids," she finished the thought for him. "Perfectly healthy babies just tossed in the trash," she murmured.

He peeked over his shoulder trying to read the expression on her face. "You ok?"

"Yeah," she replied with a deep breath and squeezed him tighter. "How about I help you with that? You have another knife?"

"No I have just the one."

Olivia slapped him with the dishtowel hanging out of his back pocket. "Asshole."

He grinned while she searched through one of the drawers and pulled out another knife. They frosted a couple of the cupcakes in silence for a few minutes, her thoughts fleetingly turning to her conversation with Casey. She wanted to bring it up and frosting cupcakes for his kids seemed like the perfect segue but she couldn't get the words to form. She was so lost in thought she didn't notice him put his knife down and slip behind her, his hands on her abdomen.

"What are you doing?" she giggled at the slight ticklish feeling.

"Watching you finish up."

"And why aren't you helping?" she reached for another cupcake.

"Because I need to watch you do it. I mean you don't cook so I figure I need to make sure you can at least frost things and don't mess up my kids cupcakes," he joked and she jabbed him with his elbow.

She huffed and pretended to be upset. "Why do I even bother with you?"

"You know why," he whispered in her ear and pressed his erection into her behind. An involuntary moan escaped her throat and she fell back into his hold.

"Don't stop what you are doing. You have to learn to multitask Benson," he kissed her shoulder and neck.

Olivia tried hard to concentrate but she felt the goosebumps forming on her skin and the stirring deep in her belly. She kept going but her efforts faltered when he cupped her breasts and his thumb brushed across her pert nipple.

"You're messing up Liv. That cupcake is a mess," his hands began to move lower to her belt and her breath hitched.

"El-," she groaned.

"Hmm," he answered casually. He had her belt unbuckled and slowly unzipped her slacks. She focused hard on finishing the cupcake she had in her hand even as his hands made their way to the top of her panties. She slammed it back down on the counter just as his fingers made contact with her covered mound.

"You still have two more to go," his hands slipped inside her panties and she gripped the counter absorbing the pleasure.

"I can't," she breathed.

"Sure you can," he smiled against her ear.

He slipped inside her folds and she moaned, her slickness drowning his fingers.

"Such a shame you couldn't finish," he added a second finger and she whimpered. "I hope you can do better when you have to frost our child's cupcakes. Multitasking is the name of the game Detective."

Her eyes flew open and just as she was about to open her mouth to speak, his thumb hit her sensitive spot. "Shit," she breathed, writhing against his hand. Her mind was trapped somewhere between desire and absorbing his words. Eventually one thought morphed into the other. The idea of having his baby one day was all it took to bring her to nirvana. She closed her eyes, her head thrown back against his shoulder listening to the soft timber of his voice bring her back to reality.

"You want me?" he hummed, pulling her shirt over her head.

"Yes." Her answer was instant.

Immediate.

Elliot took her hand ready to guide her towards the bedroom but she pulled back stopping him. Confusion flooded his expression until he noticed the mischievous gleam in her eyes and she picked up the canister of frosting from the counter.

He cocked his eyebrow. "Do you have something in mind?"

"I do actually," she tilted her chin toward his grey t-shirt. "Take that off."

He took the few steps to stand right in front of her, his labored breaths warming her nose and chin. "Whatever you say."

His shirt hit the ground. She allowed her eyes to roam the dips and planes of his chest for a split second before nodding towards his jeans. "Now take those off."

She dipped her finger in the frosting, coating two of them while his jeans joined his shirt on the floor.

A small smile covered her lips as the frosting covered his. She put a little across the center of his chest and both of his nipples. Her hands trailed down his abdomen and reached for the waistband of his underwear. He stopped her quickly.

"If you put that there and lick it off, this is going to be over before it begins and I really want to take my time with you tonight."

Her tongue flicked the frosting from his bottom lip. "Another time then."

She bit and nipped him. Her mouth owned his tasting the sweet flavor of cream cheese and Elliot mixed together.

He growled when her teeth grazed his nipple lapping up the frosting and then switching to the other.

"Olivia," he rasped.

"Hmm," she answered nonchalantly. Her hands slipped into his underwear, thrumming his erection while she slithered her mouth down his abdomen.

He jerked in her hands, unable to take it anymore. "Come here."

He hauled her up, her legs wrapped around his waist and she yelped. His mouth crashed against hers and he carried her to the living room where the blankets from his night before were still spread out.

It was a source of convenience the night before when he let his kids have the bedroom when they stayed over but tonight it was the setting of something else.

Something more.

The flames crackling in the fireplace and the low hum of the television provided the background music to the soundtrack of their lovemaking. The melody of her soft moans and his throaty growls filled the air as he owned her body. She rode him, rolling her hips and putting her hands on his chest for leverage. He kissed the back of her neck, whispering in her ear when he took her from behind. He commanded her orgasms and when all of their desires were sated, she held him close. Her eyes were focused on the fire and she stroked his arm that was draped around her waist.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too."

Elliot soon drifted off while her mind wandered.

Olivia thought about a baby with dark hair and blue eyes. Her laugh and Elliot's stubborn personality. A baby they didn't make tonight but would make someday. And that thought alone was enough to lull her into a peaceful sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

 _Episodes featured this chapter 7x18 Venom…and 7x19 Fault_

"Move in with me." Elliot's hands roamed up her shirt brushing against the underside of her breast. He started this slow torture fifteen minutes ago and Olivia was writhing beneath him. Over the past months since they had begun dating he was learning to take his time with her but it was no easy feat. He loved how responsive she was to his voice and his touch. Her skin was flushed, her breaths short and his hands cupped her right breast.

"Did you hear me? Move in with me," he whispered in her ear while flicking her nipple. Distracting her while discussing such a serious topic was probably not the best idea but he couldn't help himself.

She moaned, tugging on the waistband of his pants. "Mhmmm."

"Is that a yes?" he chuckled.

His warm mouth lowered to suck on her breast and his hands traveled downwards to the drawstring on her pajama pants.

"Yesss," she hissed.

He released her nipple, his mouth making a popping sound. "Is that a yes to moving in together or to what I was doing?"

Her eyes remained closed trying to regain some of her composure and the ability to form a rational thought. There hadn't been too many nights they spent apart over the last few months except when they needed space after a tough case. Elliot had finally had the talk with Kathy about Olivia staying over while he had the kids for the weekend. So far it had only been three times when this occurred but everyone was adjusting nicely and he was ready to take the next step.

"I will move in with you on one condition," she proposed. "We tell Cragen tomorrow."

Elliot sighed but knew she was right. They had come close over the past month to telling him but every time something came up with a case or one of them got cold feet because they wanted to extend working together as long as possible. They had hoped that they could switch partners, her with Fin and him with Munch. They figured that would be the best case scenario and they worked hard to woo them both over the past few weeks to make sure they were on board with everything. It was no doubt that Fin saw it coming but they knew Munch would give them a hard time for no other reason than his personal enjoyment.

"You drive a hard bargain," he smirked pulling her nipple between his thumb and index finger. She tried to keep her eyes focused on him and not close them in pleasure but she lost the battle as she did so many times before. "Ok you have a deal."

"Good," she agreed. "Now finish what you were doing."

He rose to his knees removing his t-shirt and positioning himself between her thighs. His fingers played with the waistband of her pants and he slid them slowly down her legs revealing her bare core underneath. He gave her a predatory smile of approval.

"Very naughty Detective," he teased about her lack of underwear. She took off her own shirt and lifted her foot to graze across the erection bulging beneath his boxers.

"Shit," he cursed and stopped her foot from any further ministrations, spreading her legs and settling his face at the apex of her thighs. He licked the length of her once and she shuddered beneath him. He smiled to himself and began to really taste her, gripping her legs to hold her in place. She bunched the sheets between her fists, thrashing her head back and forth absorbing the pleasure spreading throughout her body. He had just started and she was already close. Her hips jerked, her toes curled…..and her phone rang.

"Ugh," Elliot groaned in disgust at the offending sound but didn't let up. He continued to lick, suck and nip at her feeling her begin to spasm beneath him. She released against his tongue and grasped her forehead while her heart rate returned to normal. Her voicemail tone kept going off and she reached for the phone to stop it. She figured it wasn't work because Elliot's phone hadn't rung. Whenever one didn't answer, the other would usually get called right away.

She saw the call was from an unknown number and put the phone back down while Elliot peppered kisses along her belly working his way up her torso. "Who is calling this time of night?"

"I don't know but they left a message. I'll check it later," she murmured pulling him up to her mouth. Her tongue had just collided with his when the phone rang again. "Shit."

"Just answer it."

"Benson," she huffed. "Ken?...what's going on?"

Elliot stopped kissing her and tried to listen to the conversation. She sat up and reached in the nightstand pulling out a pen and paper to write down some details.

"Ok, I'll be right there." She stood up and walked to the dresser to pull out some clothes.

"What's going on? Was that Fin's son?"

"Yeah he got arrested. I was his one phone call apparently."

"Why would he call you and not Fin?" he asked confused and stepped out of the bed to put his clothes back on.

"You know they have a complicated history. I'm going to go down there and—"

"Well give me a minute, I'll go with you," he interrupted.

She shook her head. "No let me handle this one by myself. He's scared to death and he doesn't sound like he wants anyone else there. I'll call you and let you know what's going on ok? Get some sleep."

She kissed him quickly on the lips and left. Elliot drifted off to sleep and was woken up the next morning by her phone call telling him to come down to the station to help interview Ken who was found digging up a body in an empty lot. By the time he and Olivia had Ken in interrogation and asked him a few questions he was convinced that Ken was guilty of something.

"That story was too soft, he didn't think it through," he told Cragen, Munch and an angry Fin who accused him of treating his son like a perp off the street.

Munch naturally took his partner's side and for a passing moment Elliot felt guilty again about the conversation they were planning on having with them today.

"So wait not only is my son a liar he's a murder too?" Fin growled.

"I don't know but you're the first to admit you really don't know him."

"And you know yours right?" Fin shot back. "Tell me is your daughter still driving drunk or has she moved on to something stronger?"

Cragen immediately stepped between them but not before Fin's parting shot. "Next thing she'll be swinging off poles."

Munch grabbed Fin and Cragen yelled at Elliot to walk it off. He went to the roof for twenty minutes and came back down to his desk when he was sure the coast was clear.

"You came at Fin pretty hard," Olivia said sitting down at her desk.

"I call 'em like I see 'em. Did you know Ken Randall had a file in the juvenile system?"

"No."

"There's something off with that kid. Either Fin's covering for him or he doesn't know."

"What are the charges?"

"It's sealed. I have to request them. Ken lied to us Olivia. You and I both know that," he told her and she turned her face away trying to hide her annoyance. Sometimes Elliot was just a little insensitive when it came to certain situations and it bothered her.

"Kids lie, even yours whether you live with them full time or not."

She hadn't meant for the comment to insult him but she knew the second it left her mouth that he was angry. He was about to say something when Cragen walked up asking for the status of the case.

They worked everything as normal for the rest of the day and kept the conversation strictly to the case. When it was time to leave for the day and they were walking to the car she wasn't sure if she should ask which apartment they would be sleeping at so she opted for small talk instead. "So I guess we didn't get a chance to tell Cragen today. Maybe we should wait until everything cools down with Fin's son first."

Elliot was silent and brooding, the part of his personality that always led to some type of argument. When they reached the car and he still hadn't responded she decided to open Pandora's box. She was not going to spend the night with him having an attitude especially when he was the one wrong in her opinion.

"What's the problem Elliot?"

He stood in between the open car door and took a deep breath thinking about his words.

"What is it? I'm not going home with you like this," she nudged.

"Why didn't you have my back in this? With Fin?"

She was genuinely stunned by the accusation, her eyes wide and assessing just how serious he was. "I always have your back but I'm not agreeing with you when I think you are wrong. I've never done that and I'm certainly not going to start doing it now just because-," she looked around to make sure no one was around but decided to play it safe anyway. "Because of our situation."

"How was I wrong? I was doing my job."

"This is Fin, Elliot!" she raised her voice. "He deserved better than that in there and so does his kid. Would you want us to treat Kathleen like that?"

He visibly flinched, Fin's words from earlier in the day fresh on his mind. "This isn't about Kathleen or any of my children and that's not the point," he countered weakly.

"Then what is the point?"

He was the one to survey their surroundings this time before continuing. There weren't many people around except a few officers hanging in front of the building. "Get in the car."

They both got in and shut the door. She anxiously tapped her fingers on the door and he braced the steering wheel. He didn't like fighting with Olivia when they were partners but now that there was more at stake he wrestled to make sure he didn't make the same mistakes he did in his marriage.

He loosened his tie to try and relieve some of the pressure on his neck and raging through his mind. He set the grey and blue striped material in the middle of the seat and his hand accidentally brushed against hers. He stroked her hand back and forth and sighed heavily. The contact with her soft skin instantly calmed him and he felt her relax too. He interlocked her fingers with his and laid his head on the back of the seat.

"I'm sorry," he apologized.

"For what?" she whipped her head around to face him, a mix of confusion and frustration covering her features. "Elliot I don't even know what's wrong. Do you really think I don't have your back?"

"No." He rubbed his eyes, suddenly exhausted. "When you made that comment about kids lying and not knowing things even when they don't live with you full time it just kind of got to me."

She let go of his hand and began to stroke the side of his face. Some of his stubble was beginning to show and was prickly beneath her fingers. The contact was welcoming and becoming so familiar. His eyes closed and he relaxed into her touch. This wasn't the life he chose and sometimes she forgot that. She forgot that despite how happy they were in their relationship, he was married for over twenty years and was living what some considered to be the American dream. He managed the wife, kids and picket fence, the only thing missing was the dog. Now he was living the life of a twenty something, shuffling his clothes back and forth between his apartment and his girlfriend's.

"I'm sorry," she kissed the side of his head. "I didn't mean that in the way it came out I just meant that—"

"I know," he interjected. "I didn't mean to be all sensitive about it, I just worry about them when I don't have them all the time. What Fin said about Kathleen—"

"And Kathleen is doing fine. She's learned her lesson and she's staying straight," she told him. "When you were napping last weekend her and I talked about some things."

"Like what?" he popped his head up.

She smiled and pushed his head back down against the headrest and continued to stroke the side of his face, a simple gesture that she learned relaxed him immediately. "Anyway we talked about some girl stuff that I won't be sharing with you and she mentioned the DUI. She said she hated that she let you and Kathy down but she was going to make it up to you because she wanted to make you proud."

"She said that?" he smiled suddenly looking like a little boy beaming with pride.

"Yes she did. They're all fine El. They really are."

He leaned in grazing his lips against hers. "Thank you."

She pulled back, her eyes heavy and focused on the crisp white crease in his shirt. "El I know this isn't the life you expected."

"No it's not," he picked up her chin. "It's better. It's different, it's not perfect and I never expected it would be but it's better than anything I could've hoped for. I love you Olivia. That hasn't changed and it won't change. Ok?"

She nodded her head, a small smile threatening the corner of her lips. "I love you too." She kissed him tenderly, sucking his top lip between hers and inhaling his scent of faint cologne.

"Can I ask you a question?" he brushed the hair out of her eyes.

"Yep."

"The girl talk you and Kathleen had, it wasn't anything like the girl talk you and Casey have because—"

She slapped him on the shoulder and tried to pull away but he held on to her arm to keep her near his lips.

"You're a jackass," she purred between kisses.

"I know." He then deepened the kiss and she moaned into his mouth.

"Let's go back to your place and pick up where we left off this morning," he suggested.

"I like that idea."

He turned his keys in the ignition and her hands traveled the length of his knee up to his semi erection. She leaned in to kiss him again when they heard three light taps on the window startling them both.

Olivia held her breath while the window slowly rolled down and to her dismay it was probably the second worst person that could've caught them.

"You know the inventor of glass will be glad to know they still operate the way he intended because just like you two can see outside, people can see inside," Munch warned looking over his glasses. "Amazing how that works isn't it?"

Elliot sighed. "Good to know."

"You know if you two really want to continue this _secret romance_ ," he used air quotes "that the two of you have going, you may want to do it at I don't know say somewhere different than in the front of the precinct."

Olivia shook her head but in actuality she couldn't be too surprised. Munch had been a detective a lot longer than any of them and if he hadn't figured anything out over the past six months then he needed to retire. "How long have you known?"

"Oh that's a conversation for another day lovebirds. Cragen is not too far behind me so I'll see you guys tomorrow," he tapped the hood of the car twice and walked off.

Elliot scrubbed his hand down his face. "Okay so…."

She turned to meet his eyes as the sedan pulled out onto the street. "As soon as this mess with Fin is over we talk to Cragen."

He picked up her hand and kissed it. "And then you will move in with me?"

"Yes. And then I will move in with you."

* * *

The alarm went off at 6am sharp and both Elliot and Olivia groaned simultaneously. She snoozed it and took a deep breath preparing herself to get out of bed. The bedroom was perfectly semi dark, quiet and she snuggled into his warmth. The thought of having to leave his grasp was nothing but pure torture. However, the room itself was a mess.

She brought some of her clothes and belongings over to his apartment over the past few weeks but a lot of it was still in boxes. They opted to move into his place because she didn't want to interrupt his children's sense of normalcy. They had just gotten used to the apartment and she didn't want to have to uproot them again right now. Her lease wasn't up for another two months and with their schedules they would just bring over her items whenever time permitted.

She threw the blanket back and when she made the first move to get out of bed he pulled her back in his arms.

"What are you doing? We have to get up," she snickered.

He buried his face in her hair, the faint scent of vanilla and jasmine tickling his nostrils. "Five more minutes."

"You always say that and it ends up being longer," she acquiesced letting his strong arms hold her close.

"Never."

He scooted closer to her and she felt his erection rubbing against the thin material of her shorts. "You're so warm," he mumbled.

Olivia nestled into him, soothed by the steady breaths he expelled in her ear. Her fingers stroked his that were around her torso and she sighed contently. "I love you Elliot."

He lifted his head up off the pillow with one eye opened squinting at her noticing the difference in her tone. "I love you too. You ok?"

She turned around in his arms to face him her forehead against his. She didn't know how to verbalize what she was feeling but she didn't want him to worry. Her heart was so full and just like Elliot's life had become something he didn't expect, so had hers. She didn't think it was possible to love someone as much as she loved him, to miss someone as much as she missed him during the brief periods of time during the day when he wasn't around. She never believed in soulmates and wasn't sure if she did now but whatever this was with Elliot it was something close to all those things singers sing about, authors write about and people cry about.

She always got just close enough but not too close when it came to giving her heart away but with Elliot it was never a choice. She was his almost from the beginning, even when she wasn't supposed to be. The thought of not being with him made her chest ache and filled her with a pain that she never wanted to endure.

"I'm fine." And as long as he was with her she was.

She held him tight for several minutes and when the snooze from the alarm went off, his phone rang right after.

"Ugggh," he rolled over and picked up his phone. "Stabler….yeah..okay I'll call Liv we will be right there," he hung up and she smiled into his neck. They still hadn't told Cragen because Fin was still dealing with the fallout from Ken and Darius so he was keeping up the façade.

"What is it now?"

"Triple homicide uptown. We gotta be there in thirty minutes which means we won't have time to shower separately," he smirked and jumped out of bed coming around to her side but ran into one of her boxes in the middle of the floor.

"Shit!" he started limping on his right foot.

She giggled and turned on the lamp. "Oh you big baby, let me take a look."

He sat at the edge of the bed while she bent down to check on it. "Does this hurt?" she asked bending his toes.

He hissed but wasn't in a huge amount of pain. "You're fine. It will probably be sore but it isn't broken."

"Well you could kiss it and make it better," he teased and she walked away from him into the bathroom.

"Kiss your toe? You must be out of your mind, now get up we are now down to 26 minutes before we have to be at the crime scene."

Olivia turned on the water and shed her camisole and shorts. When she stepped in the shower she turned around to see a nude Elliot standing in front of her. "When I said kiss _it_ I didn't mean my toe." His mischievous grin covered his face when he got in the shower.

"So what did you mean?" she flirted.

"Allow me to show you."

The warm water pelted their bodies while Elliot showed her exactly what he meant. She took him in her mouth stopping before bringing him to the edge. He balanced her against the shower wall, her legs around his waist and pushed into her slick insides. Their position mirrored the one from the locker room months before but this time was very different. There was no holding back. She screamed in ecstasy with every thrust and held his head against hers as they came down from their orgasms. They would be a little late but it was a small price to pay to enjoy the few minutes they had together before they gave themselves to the cruelty of the outside world.

* * *

They managed to arrive to the crime scene just a few minutes late to discover the bodies of Simon and Lila Clifford dead in the kitchen and their sixteen-year-old daughter Amy strangled in her bedroom. The two younger children had been kidnapped and the team worked around the clock trying to find Ryan and Rebecca Clifford before the perp killed them. They canvassed the kid's school and reviewed ATM surveillance footage, whatever they could find to lead them to the murderer. Elliot breathed a sigh of relief when TARU was able to see on the ATM footage that Ryan was at least still alive. Usually when they worked cases like this they rarely found living victims.

"Victor Paul Gitano," Elliot announced after getting off the phone with Fin who was able to pull the credit card receipt from an outdoor supply store.

Olivia pulled up Gitano's rapsheet on the computer and they both zoned out as Cragen went into the specifics of his crimes including raping and torturing children.

"We got the address for his apartment. You guys meet Fin and head over there now," Cragen ordered.

Olivia zoned out during the ride to Gitano's place. She had to search children countless times over the years but now the stakes were different. She actually had the real possibility of becoming a mother herself and her mind wandered to how she could handle this if it happened to her. The world was full of people like Gitano and as irrational as it sounded the overwhelming need she had to protect a child that wasn't even a reality yet overwhelmed her. "We're going to catch this guy Liv. We'll find Ryan and Rebecca," he told her rubbing the side of her arm to comfort her.

"Alive?"

He turned his eyes back to the road as they pulled up to the corner of Gitano's last known address. He was never an eternal optimist but something about their situation changed his view on things lately.

"Yeah. We will find them."

It was easy to get drawn into the negative but with Olivia at his side and the balance of bliss and reality blurring closer together over the past months, he needed to believe that things would turn out differently.

He was wrong.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Thank you guys for continuing to read this story. "Fault" has a lot of moving parts and my goal is not to relive all of it but instead fill in some missing pieces for the point of the story. I know that episode is stressful but I promise to get us all through in the next chapter. Please review and let me know if you guys are still enjoying the story or not.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

 ** _One word….Fault_**

"Are you almost ready to go?" Olivia asked timidly while a manic Elliot whirled around her. He searched frantically through his desk for a piece of paper.

"No not yet," he dismissed her. "You can go ahead and leave, I need to get the information for the guy who tried to send Gitano this money."

She watched his every move. His blue shirt was disheveled, his red tie hanging loosely around his neck. He had barely looked at her since they left the bus terminal, since her throat was nearly cut by Gitano…since Ryan was killed.

He hadn't stopped moving since it happened, a defense mechanism she was all too familiar with. If you're still it gave you time to think….to feel.

She stood anchored to her spot a foot away from him and his eyes briefly glanced at the scar on her neck. The temperature in the room dropped ten degrees. There were no other sounds or movement for that one fleeting moment. His Adam's apple visibly contracted and she could hear his shallow breathing.

"I'm ok," she whispered. "I'm ok."

Her chocolate brown eyes connected with his and she saw it all.

The pain.

The hurt.

The guilt.

He cleared his throat and tore his gaze away from her instead focusing on the address in front of him. "The manager from Money Order Express is going to call me back with the information from the wire any minute now so….."

It was getting late. The odds that he would get the information tonight were slim to none but she knew what this meant.

He needed space.

"You should go and rest. Cap'n doesn't want you pulling an all nighter since you got hurt."

Not him. The captain.

"Ok," she rasped. "Ill see you later?"

Silence.

He tried to look busy but it was evident that he heard her. She turned on her heel and walked out of the squad room leaving Elliot alone.

* * *

Olivia dragged up the stairs of his apartment building, each step harder than the other. Her boots felt like they were filled with bricks and she struggled to hold herself upright. She was exhausted. Emotionally and physically. When she came to the now familiar hallway she still wondered if she should turn back around and go back to her apartment.

The keys to their now shared apartment dangled in her hands and she stood at the door still debating if she should go in. She thought about calling Elliot but she was being stubborn, upset that he hadn't bothered to apologize. And the way he jerked himself away from her at every given moment today, he needed to be alone. He would come back and she told herself she needed to be there when he did. He would come back to the place that had now become their home.

She was putting the key in the door when it suddenly swung open.

"Oh Olivia, I thought you were my dad," Kathleen admitted. She gripped her keys trying to find words. "Are you coming in?" the blonde asked watching her carefully.

"Oh yeah of course," Olivia rebounded trying to act normally.

She walked into the apartment noticing Kathleen's textbooks and notebook spread across the small dining room table. Her backpack was hanging from the chair and her shoes were on the floor. She must've been at their apartment a while.

"You guys forgot didn't you?"

Olivia's eyes jolted as she racked her brain trying to remember what she could be talking about. "No honey we didn't."

Kathleen stared at her, those blue eyes like her father's staring holes into her sensing the lie.

"Ok I'm sorry I forgot," she admitted.

Kathleen huffed, walking over to her books. "Dad was supposed to help me with this report I have to do about Criminal Justice because I want to major in it."

Olivia rolled her eyes with recognition. "Of course. Yeah of course," she held her forehead trying to switch gears. "When is it due?"

"Tomorrow."

She grumbled internally. It was just a little after 7 but it felt like it was midnight.

"Where's dad? Is he coming soon?"

"Umm, yeah of course. Let me text him and remind him."

She walked into the living room with her back turned as if Kathleen could see her phone screen.

 _Kathleen'_ _s here. You were supposed to help her with her report tonight._

She swallowed and took a breath before she sent another message.

 _Please come home._

When she turned around and walked back towards the dining room table, she noticed Kathleen staring at her. Her wide eyes assessing every move. "Everything ok?" she asked cautiously.

"Everything's perfectly fine," she lied and plopped down in the lightweight iron chair across from her. "Okay how about we get started while we wait for your dad."

She picked up the assignment paper to read the directions and instantly felt a headache coming on. She wasn't in the right frame of mind to concentrate on anything productive but she didn't want to let his daughter down. When she set the paper down back on the table, she was met with Kathleen's desolate stare.

"Liv, please tell me what's going on."

She fixed her mouth to lie again but Kathleen cut her off. "Please don't lie to me. I've seen this before. I know what the whole charade looks like when adults try to cover up when something is wrong. My parents did it for a few years before they split."

Olivia's mouth was dry and she tried to swallow the huge lump in her throat. This is the part she didn't know how to do. She didn't want to cross the line with his child and say something he wasn't ready or didn't want her to know. She flipped her chestnut locks over her shoulder to steady herself with a plausible explanation and saw Kathleen's eyes go wide.

"Shit Liv what happened to your neck?" she asked in horror.

Olivia paused for a moment debating whether to correct her language but decided to address her question instead.

"Well _shoot_ what happened to my neck," she began subtly addressing her language. "There was an incident that happened at work today," she vaguely explained and touched the bandages on her neck. "It's fine though. It looks worse than it is."

Kathleen stood over her to inspect the wound closer. "You sure you're ok?" she asked softly.

"I promise."

Olivia held her hand that was on her neck and squeezed it for reassurance.

"You better have that bandage off by the next time we see the twins or they are going to flip," she warned walking to the fridge and taking out a bottle of water.

"Why is that?"

Kathleen set down a bottle for her and settled back in her seat. "Because we always worry about you and Dad. It's one thing to know your job is dangerous but to actually see that you got hurt is going to bother them."

Olivia digested the words laid out before her that sent new energy running through her veins. Being a part of his children's lives was a given because of the situation but having them sincerely care about her well being was a welcome gift that she was grateful for.

"I guess now I know why you and my dad aren't on the best of terms," she declared.

She gave her a small smile and pretended to read the assignment sheet again while she thought over what to say.

"He does this you know," Kathleen began. "He gets overly worried and he holds on. Sometimes too hard and it pushes you away. But it's because he doesn't know how to—I guess I don't know how to describe it," she shrugged her shoulders.

"I know," Olivia assured her. "I really do and I'm not just saying this to make you feel better. Your dad is a little mad right now about some stuff but this isn't the first argument we had at work. Trust me," she chuckled uncomfortably.

Kathleen smiled timidly, the blue from her shirt bringing out her eyes. "Ok."

"Ok, so how about we order some pizza and get cracking on this paper?"

She shook her head and gave her a genuine smile stacking her books on the table in an orderly fashion. "I like pepperoni and mushrooms," she called out while Olivia walked to the kitchen to grab the phone and a take out menu from the drawer.

She ordered the pizza, took off her shoes and got comfortable in the chair while they hammered away at the paper. An hour later, they were eating and had gotten into a groove.

"I didn't realize there were so many ways for these guys to get off? What do you call them? Perps?"

Olivia laughed at her attempt at using cop jargon. "Yes we call the suspect perps and the victims vics."

"That has to be frustrating," Kathleen added. Olivia lifted her eyebrow waiting for her to go on. "To know these guys are guilty of this stuff and then they get off on some stupid technicality and just hurt someone else."

She nodded and swallowed the rest of her pizza. "Yes it is but your dad and I work real hard to make sure that doesn't happen. We work with Casey Novak, who is our Assistant District Attorney to put the case together and we all just do the best we can."

Kathleen lit up and instantly thought of an idea. "Maybe we should call Casey and have her come over and help."

Olivia face meandered between humor and horror. Her friend was a wealth of information and despite the late notice I think she would be more than willing to help but Casey was Casey. She would help for no other reason than to witness her, Olivia Benson, sharing an apartment with her partner turned lover and helping his child do homework. It was the epitome of Casey's dream situation to give her shit about and Olivia's nightmare.

"Umm maybe next time honey. I think Casey is probably working on something. Besides I think we may be almost done here," she told her.

"Thank you Liv," her hand touched Olivia's sincerely. "Not just for the paper but…with my dad. He's been so different and better and so….. present. Well maybe not right this second," she joked and they both laughed. "I know that it's because of you. I'm really glad that you guys got together. All of us are."

Olivia took a deep breath and tried to gather herself. This was the acceptance she wanted. To know that despite the whirlwind of how the situation began that her fears about ruining his family and stability were unfounded.

Her lips pressed closed together attempting to hide the emotion creeping up within her. "Thank you. I appre-"

Both of their heads jerked when they heard the keys jingling in the door. When Elliot walked in he and Olivia's eyes locked and she immediately noticed the exhaustion washed over all his features. There were bags under his eyes and his back was hunched over as if it was taking every bit of energy he had to keep himself upright.

"Dad what took you so long?" His daughter called out choosing to ignore his appearance. "Liv and I are almost done."

He forced a tight smile, taking off his black leather jacket, gun and badge. His movements almost seemed in slow motion. "Sorry about that. We had a tough case today. I was just finishing up."

He took the few steps toward Kathleen and dropped a kiss on her forehead.

"It's ok. Liv told me about it," she reached over to the pizza box grabbing a slice not noticing the piercing glare that her father was giving Olivia. "Here why don't you have something to eat?"

He was worried that she had said too much so she tried to clear it up as best she could. "Yeah I told her I got hurt chasing after a perp today." She motioned to her neck for emphasis and saw his blue eyes suddenly gloss over, his back become even more slack. She wasn't thinking. The last thing she needed to do was remind him of how close she came today to being fatally injured.

"Well it's getting a little late. Let's finish up this paper so I can take you home," he said sitting in the other empty chair. "Thanks for helping her. I can take it from here," he mumbled in Olivia's direction. He was dismissing her and once again she wasn't sure if he wanted her to even stay there. "You should go ahead and get some rest, you've had a rough day. We shouldn't be much longer."

Her sigh of relief was evident and she was pretty sure she saw the same from Kathleen. She sensed his anger and although she chalked it up earlier in the day to him being upset about Ryan and just mad about the situation, she was now starting to feel that the anger was directed at her.

* * *

Three hours later, Elliot turned the knob to his bedroom door. He had taken Kathleen home over an hour earlier and drove around for a little while hoping the noise of the city would drown out his errant thoughts. The night was quiet and it reminded him of that night when he had waited outside her apartment and they took a walk around her block. Their third "date." It was the night he first admitted to her that he was in love with her and their relationship had taken a more serious turn. She had opened herself up to him, told him about her life and he told her about his. Their game had turned into something that both scared and exhilarated him. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

He walked into the bedroom and the vision before him made the tightness in his chest almost suffocate him. Olivia was lying on her side of the bed, hair fanned across the pillow, her dark skin contrasting against the white down comforter and pillows. Her left leg peeked from beneath the blanket and her body was turned toward his side of the bed, her hand somewhat outstretched towards his pillow.

She had been waiting for him.

He took a few steps closer and the white from the small bandages on her neck stared at him. Tears began to tickle the edges of his eyelids and the anger emerged again. He was mad.

He was mad at her.

He was mad at her for the choice he made to save her instead of Ryan.

He was mad at her because he came close to losing almost everything.

He was mad at her because he loved her so fucking much that it crippled and humbled him and he didn't know if he could continue to do this job as long as she was there.

There would have to be another choice.

One that he wasn't prepared to make but knew he had to.

He toed off his shoes and got in the bed next to her fully dressed. He knew sleep wouldn't come tonight and the Jersey cops were supposed to be bringing over the man who was sending Gitano money first thing in the morning.

Olivia stirred when she felt the mattress buckle under his weight and he tried to be still but all their years as cops ensured she was sleeping light and would wake any moment. He laid his head back against the pillow and briefly brushed her hand trying to settle into his spot when her eyes opened.

"What time is it?" She asked rubbing her eyes.

"It's still late. Go back to sleep," he told her. His voice was stern and she wrestled with whether she should say anything.

"You still have all your clothes on. Are we getting called in or something?"

"No. I just want to be ready when we are." He never turned to look at her and hoped she would just go back to sleep. He couldn't deal with what he was feeling right now.

His jaw was rigid, his body language tight and she took the hint.

"Ok," she said softly and rolled over to face away from him. "Good night."

 _I love you._

Elliot wanted to tell her he loved her and that he wanted more than anything to quell the rage and guilt bubbling inside of him but his mouth couldn't form words. The warring emotions practically took away his ability to speak so he managed what he could.

"Good night."

* * *

Olivia stood outside the morgue trying to catch her breath. They were on borrowed time. There was no time to break down. She pulled out her phone debating whether to call Elliot after he stormed out of the morgue chastising Melinda for giving them a light show and saying she could've just used the phone. She had the car and he had taken off on foot somewhere. He didn't tell her where he was going and if Cragen found out that he was unaccounted for they would be in trouble.

She began to dial his number, the chill from his words still prickling her fingers.

 _I can't do this anymore. I need to know you can do your job and not wait for me to come to the rescue._

His voicemail picked up on the second ring and it was evident he was ignoring her call. She sighed, hung up without leaving a message and headed to TARU to track more information on Gitano's cell.

Elliot checked his phone and saw he had several missed calls from Olivia. After his visit to Huang he realized his fury was misdirected. It wasn't a shock. He knew he was wrong. He hadn't meant to blow up on her that morning in the hall but the case had taken him to a place he hadn't gone in a while.

 _I wish I didn't_

 _Didn't what? Care so much? Elliot that's what makes you a good partner._

But it didn't.

 _She made me turn away._

 _How? How did she make you do anything?_

She didn't. She never made him do anything. She just existed. She just breathed. She just loved him in a way he didn't know was possible and he wasn't sure he deserved. She saw who he was, the good, the bad and the ugly and she was still there.

 _She was still there._

He had to keep telling himself that to find the courage to keep going.

He walked into the squad room and everything was in full swing. He looked around for her but she wasn't at her desk and she hadn't left any voicemails. He was about to pick up the phone to call her when Munch updated him on everything that was going on.

"You should call Olivia."

"Where is she?" he asked bothered for a moment that he didn't know her whereabouts.

"Tracking Gitano's cell phone. There's a list of everywhere he's been this month."

He called her, the argument from earlier in the back of his mind but put aside for the greater good.

"Benson."

"Where are you?"

"Some rathole restaurant in Jersey. They don't remember seeing Gitano."

"What's your next stop?"

"Canton Road yeah…Cannon Road near Route 44 about fifteen miles from here."

He typed in the address on the computer.

"Ok I'm going to meet you there. Do you have any military bases on your list?"

"I don't think so why?"  
"Wait for me."

* * *

Olivia breathed a sigh of relief after talking to the nurse who examined Rebecca. She was safe. By some miracle Gitano hadn't harmed her...and he hadn't armed Elliot. The image of Gitano holding a gun to Elliot's head was something that she knew would haunt her for many nights to come. The fear in his eyes, the resignation in his words and his willingness to give up his life would stay etched in her memory for the foreseeable future.

She dragged herself to the chairs outside of Rebecca's hospital room and gave him an update on her condition. He heard her words but he couldn't process everything she was saying. The weight on his back was too heavy and he needed to get it off. She rubbed her hand down her face, the exhaustion seeping into every limb of her body.

"If that sniper hadn't beaten you to it. I know you would've taken the shot Olivia."

He didn't truly believe it and the moment she turned to face him, he knew she didn't either.

"No I wouldnt've. Did you really expect me to? Did you really expect me to cause your death?"

She was challenging him to step out of the guilt for one second and really think about what he was saying.

"What about your kids?"

"I dont know I just couldn't get that boy out of my head."

She wasn't listening to him. She hated him for putting her in this position.

"What about me?"

 _What about us?_ She wanted to scream at him. How could he build all of this up between them over the past months and have her open herself up the way she did and be so willing to throw it away?

"Look we both chose each other over the job. We can never let that happen again, otherwise we can't be partners."

That got her attention. Of course they wouldn't be partners anymore, that was a given. They had talked about that fact over the past few months but there was a certain finality in his voice that made her quiver. They wouldn't just be switching partners.

This was something else.

"I can't believe you're saying that."

"Look you and this job are about the only things I've got anymore. I don't wanna wreck that," he chanced a glance in her direction. "I couldn't take it."

He walked away and she froze in her seat. "Wait," she called after him once he rounded the corner. "So that's it?" She asked catching up to him.

He couldn't meet her eyes. Everything was off balance. Loss was a part of life. He had lost so much and he should've been prepared that any moment he would lose again.

"What else do you want me to say?" he asked, his tone laced with annoyance. "What else is there to say?"

"You are such a son of a bitch," she shot back. "You are so busy focusing on you well what about me? You have your kids El. You have something. You think you just have the job. No _I_ just have the job. If I lost you I've lost everything. This is just as hard for me as it is for you," she yelled.

He was poised to strike back at her attack but she was right. She had no family. She had always been the job.

"Did it ever dawn on you that I love you just as much as you love me? Or that I would've been just as devastated and broken if Gitano would've pulled that trigger as you would've been if he had succeeded in cutting my throat?" Her chest was heaving and people began to turn their heads.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and pulled her off into a smaller corridor. "I'm sorry," he murmured softly. He longed to touch her but held back wanting to give her the opportunity to say what she needed to say.

"Don't apologize for that," she told him folding her arms. "I get it. In this exact moment I get why you were mad because it's just as mad as I am at you right now for almost-" she choked back a sob and he pulled her into his arms.

"I know." He stroked her hair while she cried softly in her shoulder. He knew how she felt. She had been faced with a decision that no one should ever have to make. Choosing between the one they love and an innocent person that it was their job to protect. Now it was time for them both to make another difficult decision that was in everyone's best interest.

"Come on let's go home," he whispered in her ear.

"You go ahead and go. I need to stop at the station for something."

"Ok."

She pulled back from his shoulder and he tucked her hair behind her ears. He kissed her cheek softly and hovered over her lips not sure if she wanted such an intimate gesture right now. She closed her eyes, breathing in his proximity and placed a tender kiss on his lips.

"I'll see you later." She kissed him again and disappeared into the nearby elevator.

* * *

She arrived at the precinct and found Cragen in his office. There was no fear or trepidation when she approached the door. It was a long time coming. She knocked three times and he looked up from the paperwork in his hands.

"Olivia, what's up?" He asked surprised to see her considering what he heard happened at the shipyard.

She steadied herself, her heart breaking preparing to sever the most consistent relationship she had in her life. "I want a new partner."

Cragen sat back in his chair, flicking his pen back and forth with his fingers. She waited for him to say something, anything and her nervousness subsided when she saw the slight curl of his lip. "Well it's about damn time. I was wondering when you would actually come to me."

Olivia's eyes widened and he smiled at her reaction. "You guys have been tiptoeing around here for months. I didn't say anything because I trusted both of you enough to know when it was time. And now's the time."

She nodded her head and put her hands in her pocket. "So what happens now?"

He stood up and walked around his desk to stand in front of her. "We will send you to another unit while I call IAB and see what they want to do. I think there's an opening in Computer Crimes. It's a lot less glamorous than here but you can hang out there pending their determination. I'd like to just have you two switch partners with Fin and Munch but it may not work out that way. Are you both prepared for that?"

"Yeah. I didn't think I was but…yeah I am."

"And Elliot?"

She clasped her hands in front of her and nodded. "Yeah he is." She had only just realized it tonight that he was ready. To not only leave their partnership but to leave SVU if it came down to that.

"Ok," Cragen said simply and went to sit back in his chair. She stood still for a moment and then turned to leave. "And Liv?"

"Yeah?"

He gave her another tight smile. "I'm happy for you. For both of you."

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Sorry for the delay but I was out of town last weekend and….well it's Fault. I tried to make sure I did it justice. Next chapter is the end. I should have it posted very soon to make up for the two week delay between chapters.

Always interested in what you guys think. Please feel free to leave a review.


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Note:** This is the end friends thanks for hanging with me through this story. I hope you all enjoyed. I don't know when I will be back with the next story but I can give you a hint. I decided to extend one of my one shots. Hmmm which one shall it be? :-) Until next time

* * *

Chapter 17

2:31am

It was only three minutes later than the last time Elliot checked his clock on the nightstand. Olivia still wasn't home and all his calls had gone to voicemail. He couldn't blame her, he had done the same to her the night before when he needed space to think and assess. He tossed and turned in the bed willing himself to fall asleep so he could get his mind off of everything. At least it was all over. Rebecca was safe and Gitano was dead.

But so was Ryan.

He huffed and threw the covers off of him exposing his chest flushed and his sweatpants. Suddenly he was too hot, too claustrophobic, too everything. The air was stifling.

He padded into the kitchen, the floor creaking under his every step to fix himself a glass of water. The silence in the apartment was deafening and every little sound echoed off the walls. He didn't want this. The emptiness, the stillness. He wanted his home to be filled with laughter, bickering, noise and life.

Their home.

His phone rang and he ran to the bedroom to answer hoping it was her and not just another case they were being called on. He saw her name flash on the screen and instantly felt relieved.

"Hey," he answered anxiously. "Is everything ok? Where are you?"

He closed his eyes frustrated with himself. He didn't mean to rattle off so many questions and bombard her.

"I'm fine."

Her voice was monotone and he couldn't make out how she was feeling.

"Where are you?" he asked again.

"My apartment."

Her apartment. She wasn't coming home.

He closed his eyes, breathing deeply trying to control his anger. Of course she needed to go somewhere else. A few hours earlier he had looked her in the eyes and asked her to indirectly cause him to die. He would never know what that did to her. If the circumstances were reversed he would've been furious that she put him in that position.

He sat on the edge of the bed trying to steady his voice before he spoke again. "Are you coming home tonight?"

"No," she told him and he squeezed his eyes closed absorbing the blow. "But can you come here? I want to show you something."

He shot up off the bed and began to start dressing before even answering her.

"Did you hear me?"

"Oh shit yeah," he muttered out of breath as he threw a tshirt over his head followed by his favorite grey hoodie they often shared. "I'll be there as soon as I can."

He could hear her smile over the phone. "Ok."

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you stay on the phone with me while I drive over there?" He felt silly for asking but there was something about her tone that concerned him and he just didn't want to let her go.

He never wanted to let her go.

"Ok, I can do that. What do you want to talk about?" He could hear her shifting around in her apartment and wondered what she was up to. He grabbed his keys and shuffled down the stairs quickly.

"I don't know. Anything. Just talk to me."

She sighed and he heard her mattress creak so he knew she had settled in the bedroom.

"I don't want to talk about what happened tonight," she told him. His engine roared to life and he pulled out onto the road, the phone still pressed firmly against his ear.

"I know but I just have to say I'm sorry. Telling you to-I shouldn't ha—."

"Elliot," she interrupted in a more stern tone. "It happened. I wish it didn't. Let's move on. Ok?"

His fingers tapped against the steering wheel as he weaved through the traffic at the end of his street. "Can i just say one thing?"

She sighed. "You never can listen can you?"

There was a hint of amusement in her voice and he took the open opportunity. "I shouldn't have had you make that choice. I was being selfish and it will never happen again."

"You? Not being selfish? Gee I dont think i would even know how to handle that."

She was joking. She was being sarcastic. They were right back to that place that helped heal them both in times like these. "But seriously. Let's not talk about it. I'm ok I promise and you will see that when you get here."

"Ok," he said simply and turned another corner, getting closer to her place. "What have you been doing?" he changed the subject.

She giggled and he had never been so thankful to hear her husky laugh. "Well you will see that when you get here but I can tell you that Casey left not too long ago."

"Ahh shit," he cursed and they both laughed. "Are you sure I can come over there?"

"Oh come on El," he could hear her move around the apartment. "If it wasn't for her you and I wouldn't be together."

He smiled thinking back to that night in the bar. The night that changed everything. "Well I don't know about that. I was planning on making a move at some point."

"Oh really?" and he could hear the sultriness creep back into her voice. "I don't know about that Stabler. Had I not made the first move and seduced you then we would still just be on the job with you just watching my ass all day everyday."

He couldn't contain his laughter as he finally turned on another street getting stuck behind a cab that was letting off a bunch of drunk twenty somethings.

"So you seduced me hunh?" He indulged her just happy that the conversation had taken a different turn.

"Yep. I was the one who offered myself up to you remember?"

"I think you are rewriting history a bit but Ill play along." He honked at the cab in front of him.

"So what do you think happened then?" she challenged him.

"What happened is you were terrified of what your little girlfriend told me in the bar, tried to downplay it and I was the one who had to tell you that it was a good idea. Did you forget how nervous you were when we talked about it? I think I saw you breaking a sweat," he teased.

She laughed more loudly now. "A sweat, no you must be mistaking old man. I offered myself up to you and you were all nervous and wasn't sure if you wanted to."

He relaxed into his seat, turning the radio completely off. All noise eliminated except the sound of her voice and the muted noise of the city around him that he effectively tuned out.

"Wasn't sure? So we are just going to ignore my detour to your house before I went to get the kids to make sure you were still up to the challenge?"

"Well I—"

"Or you trying to hurry and leave after the first time and I had to practically beg you to stay so I could finish everything I wanted to do to you." The memory had crawled through his limbs and his body started to react at the thought of his mouth on every part of her body and her spreading her thighs for him.

"Are you still there?" he asked when he was met with silence on the other end of the line.

"Yeah," she whispered. "I'm still here." Olivia's voice was deep and husky, she was clearly turned on.

"Anything else you want to challenge me on about that night Detective?" he asked pulling on to her block. He killed the engine and took the keys out of the ignition.

"No. Are you here?" she asked obviously hearing his car turn off.

"Yes I'm here."

"Then hurry up. I'm waiting."

With that his phone faded to black and he saw her peeking out of her window. The lights were off but he saw a small flash of light beaming from inside the apartment. He crossed the street more anxious than ever to get to her.

* * *

Olivia hung up the phone and walked back to the sofa, perched on the edge awaiting his presence. She tried to quell her physical reaction to their conversation and focus on what was more important.

She looked around the room barely recognizing the place that had been her apartment for almost the last five years. Her foot tapped lightly on the floor, her heart was racing. The nerves had been building inside of her since she left the hospital to talk to Cragen and made a decision that changed everything for both of them. Now she just needed to tell him.

She took a deep breath when she heard the sound of his steady footsteps approach. She could hear him putting the key in the door and the gesture still overwhelmed her that he felt comfortable enough to do so after months of convincing. He was hesitant about invading her space then but now this was no longer her space. It was time to move on.

Elliot opened the door and before he could say a word his eyes promptly fell upon his surroundings. He took in the bare walls, the over abundance of boxes packed and taped, and Olivia in the center of it all with her arms folded and a wide smile. She had on no make up, her shoulder length hair scooped up into a messy bun with yoga pants and one of his old Marine t-shirts on.

"Wow," he said looking around and dropping his keys on the counter. "You have certainly been busy."

"I have indeed. Well actually me and Casey have been busy." She stood up, her arms still folded watching him as he assessed everything. "I'm sure you are wondering why I called you here so late and why everything is packed up."

He nodded and stalked closer to her resting his hands on her shoulders. "It crossed my mind for a split second."

"I talked to Cragen tonight," she blurted out.

His hands stilled on her shoulders and he searched her features for any sign of contention.

There wasn't any.

"I know I should've waited for you and it's something that we should've done together but-"

"But..."

"Tonight just changed everything." Her arms encircled his neck and she breathed contently into the crux of his neck. He returned the embrace bringing her body flush against his as their breathing echoed off the naked walls.

"Outside Rebecca's room, the things you said," she kissed his cheek, her lips grazing his evening stubble. "It just all felt so final. We've been putting everything off and I don't want to anymore. So I talked to him and then I came here."

He always thought they would talk to Cragen together but a part of him was relieved to not have it on his plate anymore.

"What did he say?"

She leaned back to look him in the eyes and clasped her hands tighter around his neck. "I'm going to go work in Computer Crimes while he reports everything to IAB and see what they say. He thinks they will let us just switch partners but he couldn't guarantee anything."

Elliot dropped his gaze from hers but tightened his hold around her waist.

"He asked if we were prepared if they decided that we couldn't stay in the same precinct," she began and noticed the change in his body language. "I told him yes."

His head jerked up and he read it all in her eyes.

She knew.

She knew he was ready to leave SVU.

"Liv-"

"Shh," she placed two fingers over his lips. "You don't have to explain why. Just tell me..how long have you known?"

"It's been something I toyed around with for a little while before even this", he explained gesturing between the two of them. "And then with us it just became more and more clear. As much as I want to be the one to watch your back I don't want to risk someone getting hurt because of it. This was the final straw. It's time for me to go."

He thought back to the few times that Kathy alluded to him leaving the unit and he refused because he didn't want to leave the job...and most importantly he didn't want to leave Olivia. Now with his life with her laid out before him and one too many cases that cut him to the core, it was time.

Tears pricked her eyelids and she hugged him tighter. She knew this was the inevitable. That their partnership would end but to hear him confirm that not only would he not be at her side but not a part of their unit anymore was difficult to absorb.

"Where will you go?" She whispered trying but failing to keep the emotion out of her voice.

"An old friend of mine works in homicide. I was thinking about maybe there." He ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her on the forehead. "I think it would be a good idea to not have to deal with living victims for awhile."

She nodded unable to say anything. He turned her around and he set on the edge of the sofa pulling her between his legs, his arms hugging her waist.

He surveyed the room again. "So..you ready to make the leap hunh?" He tried to lighten the mood and was rewarded with her small smile.

"Yes I am. We've told Cragen that was the last step. I don't want to wait anymore. I want to be all in. Me and you," she gave him a long peck on the lips.

"Are you sure about that?" He asked with a wide grin and she saw a hint of his dimples.

"Are you backing out on me?"

He began to kiss down her jawline to her neck. "Well I don't know. I'm moving to a new precinct and there are lots of female cops there. What if I get another hot female partner?"

The words were no sooner out of his mouth before she lightly elbowed him in the stomach. "You are such an asshole."

"So I've heard."

"But to answer your question yes. I've never been so sure of anything."

And neither had he.

She swayed in his arms, their bodies moving to their own music, reveling in the feeling of each other. They had almost lost each other. Two separate incidents within 24 hours. It was something that would never get easier to grasp.

Loss.

Something that was inevitable that they both had to endure more than the average person. They chose a career that made it inevitable, personally and professionally. But they also chose each other. Every time they went out on a case there was that chance that one of them wouldn't return. The pain of the possible loss wasn't enough to outweigh the gain.

The joy.

The possibility.

The future.

Elliot took Olivia's hand and without a word led her to what would soon no longer be her bedroom. He took off her tshirt and pants, released her hair from the rubberband watching her brown locks flair across her shoulder. She undressed him and within minutes he was on her, inside her. They whispered I love you's and moaned each other's name as their bodies melded together. He pushed inside of her and her body yielded to his as it always did. Her warm insides enveloped him and her back arched off the bed responding to their natural cadence. When she came for him her mind wandered to their journey over the past months and how they ended up in this very moment.

Waking up next to each other every morning, the banter, the lovemaking, laying down next to each other every night. Even the arguments.

It had all led up to this.

This wasn't just one night.

It would never be just one night.

This was their forever.

* * *

 ** _One year later_**

"Well look who finally has time to meet with me," Casey pestered Olivia who came rushing into the bar.

"You are so funny." She set down her coat and scooted into the booth across from her. "Everyone else should be here in a few minutes."

"What are you having to drink? Ill order for you," she offered.

Olivia sighed and thought it over. "Ill just take a water for now."

"Oh god," Casey rolled her eyes. "Are you that girl now? It's bad enough that we don't hang out as much as we used to but now you are ordering water when we actually do make it out for drinks."

Casey slammed the menu down in mock disgust.

"Well don't put that down. I could go for something to eat," Olivia said reaching for the menu and browsing. "Oh yeah and everything is on me tonight. No arguments."

"You won't get one." Casey downed the rest of her drink and waved at the waitress to bring her another. "How long before the rest of the squad gets here?"

Olivia glanced down at her watch. "Probably another 15 minutes. Elliot is going to stop by too."

"Well he should. This is his win just as much as mine."

Olivia took a huge gulp of her water and breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm so glad that it all worked out. I really thought because of how everything went with that confession that your case was going to be history."

Casey huffed. It was true. SVU had reached out to homicide, the second time over the past year, when the Malcolm Royce case took on a different turn and it was evident that Royce was the culprit and his wife hadn't committed suicide, killing the kids in the process. Once Elliot had read up on the case and Olivia filled him in on the rest, she was not surprised to see how quickly he had become emotionally involved in the case.

The sight of the Royce's dead children had sent him over the edge and he used a less than tactical approach when he interrogated him alone. It was clearly excessive force and Cragen once again stepped in to stop Elliot from getting a complaint in his jacket but ultimately there was enough evidence to convict Royce of the crime and the gang was getting together to celebrate.

"Well between Elliot and your damn partner, I thought it was going to go down in flames."

"What is your deal with Lake? He's a good guy. He really does make an effort you just give him a hard time," Olivia tried to defend him but Casey groaned. Casey and Chester Lake, a transfer from the Bronx, had one small moment of flirtation when he first came to the unit shortly after Elliot transferred out but other than that they just managed to get under each other's skin.

"He's like an annoying gnat. The way he talks, the way he walks. I feel bad for you honestly. Going from Elliot to that."

Olivia chuckled and put in her food order, still amused by Casey's disdain for her new partner.

"Well for your information I still have Elliot so it's not a total loss. It took awhile but he and I are in a good groove now."

"Is Chester still scared to death of him?" she giggled.

"I'm glad you find that so funny. It's really ridiculous," she replied thinking about all the impromptu visits Elliot made to the squad room after Chester arrived and her offering her leg for Elliot to pee on so he could mark his territory. After Chester made it clear he had a thing for Casey, Elliot backed off but the damage was already done. He never overstepped any boundaries and jumped back about ten feet from her whenever Elliot was around.

In Homicide Elliot and his new partner Lucious Blaine had a tough go of it at first but had eventually settled in and most importantly she trusted him to have Elliot's back. He and his wife had already been over to their new apartment for dinner and helped them move in.

Olivia checked her phone and smiled when she saw it was a text from Elliot saying he would be there in a few minutes.

Casey noticed her smile. "So I take it lover boy is close?"

"He and Blaine are on the way. About five minutes." She picked up a handful of peanuts eating them quickly and her head turned towards the door when she heard the chime. "Lake, Munch and Fin just walked in."

"Oh here we go," Casey rolled her eyes. "I'm ordering another drink. Ill order you a beer."

She turned to walk to the bar and Olivia put her hand on her arm to stop her. "I can't have a drink."

"What do you mean?" Casey scoffed. "Of course you can." She moved to walk towards the bar again and Olivia pulled her arm back stronger.

"No I'm serious. I can't have a beer."

"Why?"

Olivia smiled and her eyes gleamed. "I can't have one for at least the next 7 1/2 months."

Thanks to the alcohol it took Casey a little longer to catch on and Olivia widened her eyes willing her to get it.

"OH MY GOD!" she finally squealed. "OH MY GOD! Is this for real? You're having a baby?"

She leaned into the booth pulling Olivia into a hug. "I'm so happy for you. How long have you known? How could you not tell me?" she shrieked.

"We wanted to get you past the trial first. Everyone was a little on edge," she explained. It was the Malcolm Royce case that had started it all ironically. Elliot came home one night of the trial after he had gone to visit his kids and it was evident the case had taken a toll on him. They found comfort in one another as they had so many times before after a difficult case and five weeks later she was staring at a positive pregnancy test.

"Well now that mess is over with we need to celebrate," Casey announced.

Olivia shushed her. "Keep it down. No one knows but Chester yet because he's my partner and of course I wanted to tell you. I'm going to drop the bomb on Cragen later this week but for right now let's keep it between us ok?"

Casey was tipsy but sober enough to keep her mouth shut. "Your secret is safe with me but you know what this means right?"

The waitress walked up with nachos, wings and curly fries that Olivia ordered and Casey looked on in amusement.

"Well since it was me that started it all-in this very establishment," she held her hands out pointing all around them. "That means you need to name the baby after me. The good thing about the name Casey is that it's unisex."

Olivia snickered and dug into the curly fries. "Ill run that by Elliot and see what he thinks," she said between bites.

"So when's the wedding?" Casey whispered. Elliot walked in the door and they both waved at him.

"I don't know it's not really on my radar. We are just focused on the baby right now."

Casey nodded and didn't respond, watching her friend scarf down her nachos with a knowing smirk on her face. What Olivia didn't realize was that her and Elliot went ring shopping a couple of weeks ago and he was planning to propose on her birthday this weekend.

"I really am happy for you Benson," Casey said reaching out for her left hand and squeezing it. "You both deserve it."

"Thanks Case. Now i may actually throw Casey in the ring for a possible baby name."

"Yessssss!"

Elliot walked to the table with Chester and Lucious close behind him. "How are you ladies this fine evening?" He kissed her cheek and she scooted into the booth to allow him to sit.

"We're good," Casey winked at Elliott to let him know she knew about the pregnancy.

"Slow down there Liv," he teased her knowing there was a good chance she may be sick later on.

"Sorry I'm just hungry."

"That's nothing. You should see her when we try to go for a quick bite at work," Chester added. "Can we sit down?" he asked Casey. She grumbled and moved over while Lucious went to the bar to order a drink.

Elliot chuckled at Casey's obvious annoyance with Chester. "What's the deal with you two?"

"Nothing," Chester shrugged. "She's always giving me a hard time."

Elliot leaned back and put his arm around Olivia with a mischievous grin plastered on his face. "You know what you guys need?"

"Whats that?" Chester asked clueless.

"There's clearly a lot of pinned up sexual tension between the two of you so there's really only one way to solve it."

Chester and Casey looked at each other and then at Elliot waiting on him to continue. "You two should hook up, you know just for one night. Take the edge off, get rid of some of that tension."

Olivia couldn't contain her laughter and she clinked her water glass with his bottle of beer. "You should listen to him," she added with a wink. "I hear it works."

 **The end.**


End file.
